Erratic Heartbeats and Index Cards
by orangestripes66
Summary: She’s so amazingly addictive. She’s like Little-Bo-Peep, but all scantily clad, waving candy around.
1. Shame On Me

**La la la, this is my first story. It's full of everything that is Spashley and some sweet fluff, and even though it's kind of a classic-type story I hope you still like it! **

****I do not own South of Nowhere or the characters. If I did then "interruptions" would never happen.**

**Review and let me know if you like reading as much as I like writing =)**

**Spencer's POV**

I'm so stupid. Dumb. Unintelligent. Do you need any more adjectives? Focus those adjectives on common sense, not on books. Okay, maybe I shouldn't say _common_ sense, because you have to be really naïve to not have some common sense. Anything other than books and school, I wasn't up there

If I were smart in the ways of people and "common sense" I would have enough of this "common sense" to not look at my best friend for longer than I should. I would be smart enough to not let her activities with other girls bother me. I would be smart enough to not be affected when she holds my hand, a simple gesture that seems to send butterflies through my stomach. I would be smart enough to stay away. I surely am not smart enough.

"Spencer, stop it." I hear from across from the wooden table.

"What are you talking about, Kyla?" I look across to my friend who is picking out the peas from her salad.

"You're scrunching your eyebrows again." She pauses for dramatic effect. "That gives you lines on your forehead you know."

"Obviously I don't know. I'll stop when you stop getting a salad with peas in it only to pick them out." I say, maybe a little too meanly, maybe a little more caustic than I had meant.

I receive a glare for my statement. "I like the challenge." Kyla says calmly, still glaring at me.

I glare back, imagining her head exploding. But then I feel bad, so I imagine her head exploding _but_ then being put back together.

"Whatever" is whispered from my mouth just loud enough for her to hear. She ignores me.

I hear a familiar voice coming towards me and I turn my head. "…I don't get it, all I did was just throw a _small_ piece of paper at the board and I get yelled at and sent to the office while Madison is sitting there with her huge ass hanging out of the seat and no one says anything."

Ashley is just a few feet away from me now, speaking to Chelsea. I take this moment to look her over. Her tight jeans. Vest with basically nothing under it. Curly brown hair shining in the La La Land sun. It's good. Oh, it's very good.

_Dammit._

"Hi Spence." She says as she sits next to me, giving me an adorable smile and despite myself I can't help but give her a bigger grin back.

My mouth is obviously not controlled by my brain.

"You can't stay out of trouble, can you?" I tell her as I laugh and turn my head forward.

Ashley straddles the bench and scoots a little closer to me. "Of course not." She says with a sly grin. "Oh, _hi_ princess." She says focusing on Kyla. Kyla does not seem amused with her sister's sarcasm.

"Oh _hi_ asshole." Ashley doesn't seem affected by the insult, not even enough to say something back. The bickering between the two Davies sisters is like a game, like volleyball, kind of. Back and forth, back and forth. It gets boring until one of them spikes the ball at the other. This usually being Ashley's job.

Kyla gives me a look. A look that says both _why are you friends with this douchebag and please tell her to be nice to me_. Kyla puts up a rough front but I know that all she wants is for them to get along. Ashley thinks differently.

Ashley takes a couple of grapes from my lunch and pops them in her mouth. "How was your day?" When she asks me this her features soften and her eyes take mine in, half her mouth titled up in a smile. And I can't help but notice that her knees are touching me. Grazing me under the picnic table.

"Alright." I think for a second. "I won a debate!"

Ashley rolls her eyes at me. "You're such a dork, Spence."

I shove her shoulder lightly. "You love it though." I say with a grin, because I know she does. She told me.

Ashley swings her leg around so that she's sitting normally and turns her head towards me and says "Always." Then she winks at me and I beg, plead, myself not to blush.

"Hey, do you guys want to go to Slant tonight?" Chelsea asks me, Ashley, and Kyla. I inwardly groan. Slant is the new Grey. I'm not much for partying. I can't hold my liquor and I tend to say stupid things. _Drunken words are sober thoughts_. So true.

Ashley perks up. "Hell yes!"

I look at her and am about to say _I think I'll pass_. I make it to "I think I-" before being cut off by Ashley. "Come on Spence! It'll be fun."

I give her an angry look. "Fun, like last time?" My mind brings me back to last time at Slant. Images of me falling on the dance floor, almost dancing on the bar, and lots and lots of shots run through my mind.

"That _was_ pretty funny though, you have to admit." A gruff voice says as a guy sits down next to Kyla.

"Shut up Aiden." I spit at him, although he is looking highly amused.

Aiden can easily be described as handsome. He's good-looking in that way where there is no effort involved. It would be quite easy to be attracted to him, to find his stupid remarks charming. Hell, I like the rainbow and I think he's hot. But his touch doesn't do anything for me. Not like hers does.

"I promise I won't let that happen this time." Ashley says gently and my anger immediately dissolves.

"But Ash.." I whine.

"Please, Spence." She does that thing where she pouts and sticks out her bottom lip. I force images of me biting it out of my head. I squint my eyes at her.

"Fine." I give in.

If Ashley pouted at me while asking me to sky-dive I'd say yes in a second. If Ashley pouted at me and said "Eat this spider, it's really good." I'd take it from her and swallow. Ashley could pout at me and tell me to run into the streets with my eyes closed, and I would not hesitate. It's so very pathetic but at the same time I just can't help it. Part of me thinks that she knows exactly what she's doing when she uses her charm on me. And when she does all I want to do is push her hard up against a wall and press my body to hers and kiss her until I can't breathe and rip off- _Stop it!_

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I am sitting at my desk, staring blankly at the screen, when my vision is suddenly blocked. Insanely soft hands are over my eyes and a head is on my shoulder. Lips inches from my ear.

"Guess who?" One raspy voice says into my ear. It takes all of my power to not shiver.

"Santa?" I ask, turning my chair around to face her.

Ashley takes her hand off my face and steps back, mocking insult. "You think I'm a fat man with a beard?" She says dramatically while pointing to herself.

I chuckle. "Sometimes."

"Spencer!" She yells and I'm laughing now. She's smiling, so I know she's not mad.

She takes a step towards me, probably about to tickle me as punishment, which really isn't punishment to me at all. Anything involving Ashley's hands on me is nowhere near punishment. But my mom then walks into my bedroom.

"Oh, Ashley. I didn't know you were here." She says, looking at her and then me.

"Hi, Paula. Yeah, Glen let me in, he said something about locks…" Ashley tells my mother.

My mom's expression immediately changes to pissed off mode, knowing my brother probably took off the lock to the front door again so it would be easier to sneak out. "That boy is going to be the death of me I swear." She mumbles to herself and leaves the room. A second later, her head pops through the door and she leaves it cracked open, giving me a tilted-head-mocking-smile. I curse her to silently acquire new grey hair in the middle of the night.

Ashley's head snaps back to the door as she does this and when my mother leaves she gives the door a once over. Then she looks back at me and grins evily. I swear, for a second, I swear, she looked down at my lips.

"So Ash, about tonight…" I start, prying myself out of my own imagination. I try and break it to her easily that I will not be going.

"Spencer!" She says loudly and waves her hands in the air like a fool. "You said you would come! And I promised nothing bad would happen, I'll protect you, I swear. Plus, you can't leave me alone with Aiden, you know how annoying he gets when he's drunk and Kyla is such a huge pain in the ass that…" She continues to ramble but all I am thinking about is how she said she would protect me.

Images of Ashley wearing armor and holding a sword float through my mind. Armor that accentuates her upper-body, of course.

"…stupid whore!" Ashley exclaims.

I interrupt her. "You're rambling, Ash. Okay, okay, I'll go." I guess I will accept defeat, but only because she said she'd protect me.

She starts to jump up and down and dance around like a five year old. I let her do it for a second because I think it is too cute, too cute for words and too cute for bad-ass Ashley Davies.

"BUT," I say loudly, stopping her dancing. _Unfortunately._ "if something bad, embarrassing, disgusting, or or bad happens, then, well, then there will be no snuggling tonight." I say as seriously as I can and give her a pointed look.

Ashley looks serious now. "Well, what about if something out of my control happens, can we still snuggle then?" You would think she asks this with a grin on her face, like a joke. But she is dead serious.

Ashley is serious about snuggling, and obviously, I have no problem with it. Come on. But I was told that I was the only person on the face of the Earth allowed to know Ashley Davies secretly loved to cuddle. "If anyone finds out Spencer, there will be consequences." It took everything I had not to laugh at her when she was telling me this, with the most serious expression on her face. I just nodded.

I focus my attention back to her. I turn my chair back around to my computer and glance back her, hands on her hips. "We'll see." I say and immediately turn around to hide my smile.

I hear her grunt behind me and then see her make her way into my closet, probably looking for something for me to wear.

"Do you have anything besides church clothes in here, Spencer? Seriously." I hear her say from the closet.

"A V neck t-shirt hardly qualifies as church clothes. Don't you get cold wearing a napkin as a skirt, sometimes?" I ask her laughing hard to myself.

She walks out of the closet with some things in her hand.

"Oh ha ha." She mocks and throws the stuff on my bed. "I'm gunna go, I'll pick you up later?" She says as she lingers by my desk.

"Yup." I say and smile softly up at her. Our eyes are locked and even though this is her cue to leave, she never does.

"What are we doing here?" She asks me, pointing to the computer screen as she plops herself down in my lap. I close my eyes for one tiny second, thinking of how nice it feels to have her this close. I can smell her vanilla body wash.

"Research." I tell her. "I have a paper due next week in history." She's looking at my face the whole time, studying it closely. I feel extremely self conscious. All of a sudden her hand goes to my cheek and wipes something away. It stays there momentarily and it takes everything in me not to close my eyes and lean into her embrace. "Eyelash." She says and looks back at the screen.

I feel all tingly.

"Yeah, I should probably start thinking about doing that." She sighs, leaning into me.

"We've had the assignment for like a month, Ash." I tell her smiling and she looks back at me and shrugs.

It is then that I put my hands around her waist, leaving them to rest softly on her stomach. With my head resting lightly on her shoulder she scrolls down the page. These are the times that my heart surely should be exploding out of my chest with everything I feel for this girl. My fingers have a mind of their own as they scratch playfully at her t-shirt covered stomach. Ashley tilts her head down to mine and smiles wide, her nose crinkling and eyes sparkling. It is in moments like these that I try my very hardest to convince myself that even if I will never be with her; this genuine affection and pure love that we elicit from each other might be enough.

It never works.

Eventually Ash leaves and I am feeling like a loser because I miss her even though I'll be seeing her in like three hours. So I take a shower and start to get ready. Of course, Ashley has picked out the tightest jeans she could find for me and a shirt that should barely count as even being defined as a shirt. I get ready and all of a sudden I'm running late, it's already nine.

"Spence?" I hear as I rustle around in the bathroom connected to my room.

"Be right there!" I finish putting on my necklace quickly and walk out to find Ashley leaning against my door frame.

"Geez, go slower." She smirks. Then her eyes travel down and back up my body as I move towards her. She does it again. I feel self conscious, I do have pants on, right?

"What?" I ask her as I grab my purse and motion for her to come down the stairs with me.

"Uh nothing. You look good, I mean- not that you don't always look good, nice, in those church clothes, but you look- _good_." She's adorable as she's flustered and trying to explain why she just basically checked me out.

"Thanks, you did pick my clothes out, remember?"

"Yes. Good job me, if I do say so myself." She chuckles at herself as she follows me to her car parked outside my house.

"You just did," I laugh, "you're so full of yourself."

"Part of the charm, baby." She answers as we get in the car.

I smile to myself.

_Definitely, definitely, definitely, part of the charm. _


	2. Talk Show Host

**Thank you to all who reviewed and read! You guys made me feel all tingly inside =)**

**Spencer's POV**

Slant is crowded. When is a club _not _crowded, really. I don't have to tell you that the bass is booming and the music is loud. I don't have to tell you that the mass of bodies on the dance floor is moving in synch as one. And I surely don't have to tell you that Ashley looks good. She looks really good.

Her skirt is short, as always, and all she is wearing is a simple tank top. That alone is enough to keep me staring. It was time for a shot.

"To friends!" Chelsea exclaims as we all put our shots into the air, smiling like idiots at each other. And by we, I mean me, Ashley, Aiden, Chelsea, and Kyla. Glen is there too but he doesn't count for much.

"Friends." Ashley says quietly while looking at me, right before her eyes disappear and down the shot.

I wanted to know if it really was just friends. If friends was all it was ever going to be. Ashley is my best friend, but were two people, who were so amazingly in synch with each other, so comfortable, fit so perfectly together, destined to remain friends? I wanted so badly to ask her this, to ask anyone this. But I couldn't. Could you be friends with someone who made your heart race when they smiled at you? With someone who, when they touched you, you felt so hot, like the sun was shining directly on you?

The alcohol in my veins was bringing me to my thoughtful place. My place of want. And by my fourth shot, it had brought me to my lustful place. Not that I wasn't always there in some way, it just seemed to intensify.

I was sitting in a booth with Ashley, Chelsea and Aiden. There was some kind of conversation going on. Glen was dancing with Kyla. They've been acting weird together for a while. It wouldn't surprise me if they were secretly hooking up. _Ew._ There is no reason to be thinking of that.

I was very much buzzed and hazy.

"Glen and Kyla are totally doing it." Aiden was saying, Chelsea nodding.

I tuned them out and looked to my side, where Ashley was sitting. She was being quiet, not normal for her, with a small, but sad smile on her face. I knew her well enough to know something was bothering her. But I just kept looking at her profile, as she nodded along with something Chelsea had said. Her neck looked soft, her shoulders beautifully tanned, showing off under the tank top. She was so gorgeous it was kind of impossible sometimes. Yes, she was all kinds of hot, and sexy, but it was when her curls were let down and her face was glowing effortlessly that you were able to see just how beautiful she really was.

So much so that I just wanted to lean my head on her shoulder.

So I did.

I felt her head turn down to me as I got closer to her. Her one arm snaking around to hold me closer while its' fingers lazily scratched at my back. Her other hand resting on my knee. I sighed heavily and Ashley kissed my temple.

"Let's go dance." Ashley whispers to me. I am hesitant.

"Ash, you know-" I was cut off by her dragging me to the dance floor. It's not that I couldn't dance, I could. And I loved dancing with her. I was just always hesitant, especially after last time. I was in no mood to embarrass myself.

We found ourselves somewhere in the midst of lots of sweaty, moving bodies. We started to dance to whatever popular-for-a-day rap song was blasting through the place.

Did it really matter what it was? It would be old by tomorrow.

Eventually we moved closer, closer so that my hands were around her neck, her hands on my hips, her head pressed in the crook of my neck. We moved effortlessly to the beat and I was glad to know nothing embarrassing seemed to be happening.

I would definitely not like to repeat last time, when I stepped on some girl's high heel, making me spill my drink on another girl's back, causing me to fall forward onto my face. Then only to have my hand stepped on.

It was like a Domino effect.

Almost like she was reading my mind, Ashley whispered in my ear. "See, I told you I would protect you." Her voice was all husky and breathy from the dancing and I barely swallowed the moan that was about to betray me and escape my stupid unthinking throat.

My fingers worked the soft backside of her neck. Rubbing up and down and in circles. I felt Ashley breathe out on my neck and make a grunting noise. It was so sexy I almost peed my pants.

"Thanks Ash." I told her, pulling her head to face me slightly so she could see the sincerity in my eyes and on my smile, my smile that couldn't help but appear at the sight of her face.

Ashley pressed her forehead to mine so I could feel the air from her mouth as she spoke. "Anything for you, Spence." And then she was gone from in front of me. For a second I was confused as to where she went, but then I felt hands holding my hips from behind. Ashley's head placed on my shoulder. We got more into the music, more raunchier, something I can only pull off when tipsy or drunk. We grinded into each other and her hands made their way to my stomach. I momentarily put my own hands on top of hers and then interlocked them and pulled them into the air. After that, her hands went back to my stomach, stroking the skin with her slender fingers that was not covered by my "shirt" and mine somehow made their own way backwards and into her curls, pulling her face into my neck.

I was drunk, so the small sensation of someone lightly biting me was probably not real.

If Glen had not interrupted us I think I might have exploded right there, in the middle of the dance floor. Which surely would have been more embarrassing than getting stepped on.

**Ashley's POV**

Something happened to me a while ago. I don't know how or why, but it happened. It happened when I started to not take every touch, every soft stroke, for granted. Now, I cherish every one of those because I don't know how long it will be until I totally fuck it up. And I can't screw it up, because she doesn't deserve that. Spencer, with her angelic face, beautiful red lip, and impossibly soft skin.

There is no way to gauge just how much I want her.

Maybe if there were a whole army of Spencer's, each one adding together to how much I want her. Wait, no. That's a bad metaphor. Or simile? I really can't be sure.

I want her in every way possible. But I am too much of a coward to admit this to anyone, even to myself. I'm sure that I'll mess it up, mess her up with my hidden insecurities. That's why I can only live in our tender moments and try to ignore the ache I feel coursing throughout my whole body. The ache I feel whenever her cute little mouth smiles at something dumb I say. The ache I feel whenever she seems to reassure me. The ache I immediately feel every single time we make some sort of bodily contact. I know I shouldn't touch her like I do sometimes, but I can't help myself.

I'm only human.

I lost my resolve when I softly bit her while we were dancing. It was to stop myself from kissing her senseless. Kissing her until I could not breathe.

Our friendship was never normal, we were never those friends who didn't hug. I hate those people. Those people are stupid. Those people would feel differently if they hugged Spencer. But I will never let them. We did more than hug, and I didn't mind. I didn't mind our touchy-feely friendship at all. It was always innocent.

Until it wasn't.

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So now we're drunk and stumbling into my room, hopefully going to try and sleep. The only way I can sleep is if we're snuggling. No one but her will ever know that.

"Aaaaaaash." She draws out my name from where she is sitting on my bed. I take a moment to look at her and smile. Then I remember what she's wearing and my eyes betray me and I'm sure they coat over with intense desire as they look her up and down.

I've made this mistake many times, looking her body up and down. Checking her out. I've done it when she doesn't notice, when she does notice, when her mom is in the room (which earned me a death glare), I'm sure I even do it subconsciously.

"Speeeeeence." I mimick her whininess. I feel a pillow hit my head. "Hey!" I laugh loudly. I walk over to the edge of the bed where she's sitting, swinging her legs. She yawns, and it is too adorable for words.

"You deserved it." She says while giving me a slight smile. She reaches out her hands bunches up the bottom of my tank top in her fists and pulls me towards her. And I'm loving every minute of it. "Come on, I'm tired." Urging me to go to bed. We stay motionless like that for a few seconds and all I'm thinking is _Jesus, how I want so desperately to kiss her right now_.

We find ourselves tangled up together in the middle of my bed. I am trying to find a way to sleep but my eyes seem to stay open, just looking at her.

"What's wrong?" Spencer asks me, her eyes shut the whole time and her face scrunches up.

I look at her eyelashes. They're thick and amazingly gorgeous, just like the rest of her. I can't possibly tell her what's wrong. I don't even know if anything is wrong.

How can something that is supposedly wrong feel so incredibly good?

"Nothing, just don't feel that good." I lie, trying to blame my feelings and confusion on alcohol.

"Come're then." She says and pulls me into her. And as my head rests on her chest, her hand finds its rightful place buried deep in my hair, scratching lightly at my scalp. I can't hold back the content sigh escaping me. "I love you Ash." She says sleepily.

"I love you, more." I confess, fearing and hoping at the same time that she'll see right through me.

"Not possible." Her voice is barely a whisper. I kiss her collarbone and drift off to sleep.

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I wake to the sound of an angry garbage truck outside and groan. Groan because that garbage truck interrupted a wonderful dream I was having where Spencer did not have many clothes on. Apparently the sound had not woken Spencer up as she is snuggled up to me deliciously. Her head in the crook of my neck, breathing just below my ear.

I lie there contently for a few moments, just basking in her comfort and warmness. All of a sudden she makes a weird little sound, almost like a tired moan and pulls me closer to her. Her fingers grabbing at my shirt above my stomach. I smile to myself and feel butterflies swirl madly in the pit of my stomach, the one she's touching.

They're stampeding around, wanting to be let out.

I can't help myself. I run my fingers through her soft blonde hair, immediately wanting more of her. She's so fucking addictive. She's like Little-Bo-Peep, but all scantily clad, waving candy around.

So I guess a Halloween version of Little-Bo-Peep. But all the time.

_Fuck me. _

She stirs ever so slightly. "Ash?" Comes a tired and raspy voice. An insanely sexy voice.

"Shh. Go back to sleep." I whisper gently to her, feeling bad I woke her.

"What time is it?" She asks groggily, eyes still closed. Part of me wants her to open them, just so I can see the blue color.

"Early." I answer as I press a kiss to the top of her head. I see her lightly smile as she falls back into even breathing.

While mine remains erratic.


	3. A Certain Romance

**I'm ecstatic that you're all enjoying!  
Hope you like this one =D **

**Ashley's POV**

"Holy mother of God!" I yell as I walk through the front door of my house. "What the fuck?!"

This is just my luck. All I did was go out for seven minutes. Seven minutes of peace to be met by a lifetime of blindness.

On my couch, I see both Kyla and Glen tangled together. Naked. And when I say naked, I mean in the way that neither of them is wearing any clothes. You know. Naked.

They are both scurrying around; trying to, hopefully, find any clothes to cover themselves up with. Oh please, find clothes.

"Oh my God, Ashley, I am so sorry, we thought you'd be gone longer." She says to me as she buttons her jeans up. "I am so incredibly sorry."

Glen, on the other hand, has his boxers and his shorts on and is standing there, in the middle of my living room, like a deer in headlights.

All curly blonde hair and all shocked expression. All stupid.

Kyla roughly shoves him forward to remind him that if he doesn't move I will most likely stab him with my keys.

"Jesus Ky, why the fuck couldn't you do this in your bedroom?" I ask. I feel like it is a legitimate question.

We have a bay window, for Christ's sake.

"It just-" She glances over to Glen, "It just got out of hand so quick, I didn't even realize." She explains hurriedly as she ushers Glen towards the front door.

"We were using protection…" Glen says as he rushes past me.

I have not moved from my initial spot, too scared that if I do the whole thing will happen all over again. And I don't think I can handle something like that again.

I would rather walk the streets in a chicken suit for the rest of my life.

"Well at least you got that covered." I mumble as they pass. I hear Glen snicker like a little eight-year-old girl at my comment.

"Glen!" Kyla shrieks, louder than necessary. I'm sure dogs all over the West Coast heard her.

They finally, finally leave the house and I am left in peace. I do not even attempt to go over to the living room, or even by that couch, or carpet. Just, _ew_. I will leave that for Kyla to clean. Clean until you can see your reflection. It is determined. I will not be able to sit on that couch for a very, very long time.

The day Paula Carlin _comes out_ to the world will be the day I sit on that couch. So…never.

I am in my kitchen, trying to get over this catastrophe and thinking of how I can coerce Kyla into buying a new couch, when I hear my front door burst open. I swear to Lucifer if those two are back, I will rip all of Kyla's Chanel purses to shreds.

"Ashley!" I hear my name yelled in a weirdly high-pitched voice. A voice that should be gruff.

"Aiden?" I say as I turn to look at him speed walking towards the kitchen.

"Ashley, something happened last night at Slant and I have to tell you." He exclaims all dramatically.

"Geez, did you throw up all over the girl you were dancing with again?" I ask this sincerely because it has happened. More than once.

"Uh, no." Aiden looks a little angry at the memory. Or should I say, _memories_. "I kissed someone." His voice all deep again.

I jump up once in mock surprise. "Oh my God, are you alright? Did you get tested?!" I go back to making my sandwich.

"Shut up. Look, I kissed someone, alright. Someone that wasn't." Pause "Someone that wasn't a _girl_." Aiden says so quietly that I'm not sure if I heard him correctly. My sandwich drops from my hand back onto the counter.

"What." I dead-pan.

What is up with today? Is it like the day of weird surprises or something? All I need now is for Spencer to tell me she has an adopted black brother.

"You heard me!" He yells as he waves his arms slightly through the air.

Holy shit. Aiden is gay. I cannot believe I hadn't picked up on this before. The girly yelling. The need to drag Kyla clothes shopping all the time. The arm waving. The _hair gel._ Here I was just thinking he was just metro.

"You're gay?' I ask. I feel like it is again, another legitimate question.

"No. I, I don't think so? I still think girls are hot and stuff."

"Yeah, well I still think guys are hot and stuff." I counter.

"Ashley." Now it's his turn to dead-pan.

He has a point. "Yeah, alright." I sigh out. "Well, did you enjoy it?"

He starts to pace frantically on the tiled kitchen floor. His cowboy boots making weird clicking sounds every time he steps. God, I can't believe I didn't see it. _Cowboy boots._

"That's the thing." He starts as he adds a nervous laughter to the mix. "It wasn't bad, you know? And the guy was totally good-looking. Almost on my level. And it wasn't like some girl I had to be careful with, it was _rough_. It was…different."

"Different good? I ask him.

He stares at me for a good minute, probably replaying his night along with the kiss in his head. I'm doing the same, trying to picture Aiden kissing a guy. _Weird_. Before he even says anything I know he's going to say 'yes' because the tiniest of smiles creeping up on his lips give him away.

"Yes." Comes his one-word answer.

I shrug slightly and pick my sandwich back up and take a bite. "You can like whoever Aiden, it doesn't matter." I tell him with my mouth full.

"I know." He admits dejectedly. "I just, I can't believe I didn't see this before."

"You're telling me." I laugh out as I walk to my room with my sandwich in hand, trying to avoid all eye contact with _the _couch. I leave Aiden in the kitchen to contemplate his new-founded gayness.

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"Wow." Spencer breathes out.

I had just finished telling her everything Aiden told me. Including my failure to realize Aiden's rainbow tendencies.

We are sitting at a diner in a booth, Spencer squeezed nicely next to me, waiting for Aiden. Waiting for Aiden and his mystery man. About a half an hour after he came bursting all girly through my front door, he repeated the action through my bedroom door. Excuse him for not knocking; I could have been doing something important. _Someone_ important. I could have been looking at porn. I could have been starting a rebellion. Although me looking at porn would not stop him, he's failed to knock under that circumstance as well.

He was all shrieky, proclaiming that his mystery lover-boy had texted him and wanted to get lunch. It was obvious that Aiden seemed excited about this. But I was focusing more on the fact that he had given the guy his phone number. Aiden rarely gives his phone number even to girls he deems worthy. He sad he was nervous to see him in a sober state, pondering whether he was one of those people that were only gay when drunk. I'd encountered a few of those types previously.

All of them woke up nervous in the morning and exclaimed, "I'm straight! I'm straight!"

Sure, honey. You definitely were not straight last night. They're all always straight.

Until they're not anymore.

The only way I told Aiden I would assist him was if he would buy me something at the mall after. And that I would be bringing Spencer with us for back up. Me, Aiden, and his gay toy alone were a colorful overload. Thinking back, bringing Spencer would probably only make things worse. I thought she would calm me during lunch.

What was I thinking?

My insanely fast heartbeats in her presence were everything but calm.

"Wow." Spencer breathes again.

"I know. He seems to be taking it pretty well though." I tell her as I sip my water.

I pause a second to look at her. I gave her close to no time to get ready for this adventure so she looks all disheveled, like she just rolled out of bed. But I can only imagine during slipped thoughts of what that _really _looked like. Her blonde hair is in a loose ponytail, cascading over her shoulder. Her thin t-shirt is extremely wrinkly. I'm so blinded by cuteness, I have to force myself to look away.

Seconds later Aiden comes strolling in looking all manly next to his counter-part. His boy, by first glance, is gorgeous. And I say gorgeous in the way that a lesbian calls a gay man gorgeous. His dirty blonde hair hanging loosely over green eyes. He's about Aiden's height, maybe slightly shorter.

"Hey guys." Aiden says nervously as he and his lover take seats across from me and Spencer. "This is Court." He motions to the boy sitting next to him.

Spencer and I shake hands with him. It is apparent within the first seven minutes that Court is quite smitten with Aiden and, if it's possible, Aiden even more so with Court.

Spencer opens the plastic of her crackers that had accompanied her soup and places them in front of me, not thinking twice about it. I take one and break it in half, popping one half into my mouth. Spencer looks at me and smiles lightly with her mouth but brightly with her eyes. My face turns to mush as her ridiculously blue eyes twinkle at mine. We have so many intimate habits within our friendship that sometimes I wonder how I would function without her. Without her knowing that I will always eat the crackers that come with her soup because she doesn't like them. Without her knowing that the only headbands I own are the ones I steal from her. Without her acting on a certain feeling I am having at any given moment, simply because she knows.

And she's the only one.

"I know this is kind of weird considering the circumstances and all, but I'm glad Aiden wanted me to meet his friends." Court says halfway through, after all the foundation bullshit. I'm glad that Court just comes right out and says something about the awkwardness of the situation. It makes me like him more and-

Holy Jesus, did Aiden just _blush_?

"So are you two together?" Court asks curiously after chewing some fries. He gestures his finger flamboyantly between Spencer and I.

Oh my God, what do I say to that? I say no, right? Unfortunately. I mean- _obviously_. Spencer and I have been asked this question a couple times before. By the lady at the super-market. By the kid at the video store. By the girl at Slant who wanted to know if she could "_join us_."

But that was _before_. Before she made me stumble around for lost words and before she made my palms sweat stupidly in an air-conditioned room.

Spencer looks at me with a pained expression on her face and I mirror her. I quickly wonder if her expression is pained for the same reason mine is. Because I just want to be able to say _Yeah, this is my girl. _I open my mouth to say no, but nothing comes out. She makes a noise, probably to say no, but it comes out as a squeak.

"No, they're not together." Aiden answers obliviously. I silently thank him for saving me from the probable humility I would have felt when I almost muttered _No, but we so should be_.

Court glances between us one more time before taking a sip of his tea. "Too bad." He says with a smirk on his face.

_My thoughts exactly. _


	4. Calm Touching

**Italics are flashbacks. Stay with me,** **t****his will make sense later, I promise. ;)**

**Spencer's POV**

**I Love  
**how you make me feel protected and safe

_I was never one for violence. It just wasn't my thing. Obviously this might have something to do with the fact that I probably wouldn't be able to beat up a squirrel. A baby squirrel. I have never been in a real fight before. Sure, I've yelled at people. I've had hissy fits. But I have never been in any kind of physical fight. And honestly? I never really intended on ever making that happen. _

_Maybe the most I would ever be up for would be to slap some girl in the face. But I could not dream up a situation that would propel me to act that way. I could not dream up a situation that would ever even propel me to punch someone in the face. _

_I was hopping around my room giddily, looking through my closet as Ashley was sprawled on my bed reading a magazine. This was a position I commonly found her in._

_We were going to a party at some guy's house. Court, I think his name was. He went to our school and I'm pretty sure he was a grade above me and my friends, a senior. He was openly gay, and proud, I might add. Kind of similar to how Ashley is. _

_This was during the time that I was struggling to find out what the hell was going on with me. I was struggling to figure out just why Ashley's gorgeous wide-mouthed smile made me melt every time I saw it. I was struggling figure out why her innocent tickling just didn't feel very innocent anymore. I was struggling to un-weave the complicated web that was my love for her. I was also in a point of denial, telling myself that all friends were this close. This touchy with each other. Even though I had never had a friendship like this one. This one with a girl that when we were apart for just a few hours, I missed her presence and her company. When we were apart I missed how she simply made me feel happy. _

_"How 'bout this?" I asked her. _

_She looked up at me from her magazine and squinted her eyes a bit. A bad sign. "A little churchy. Don't you have any clothes that don't say 'Hi, I'm a nice girl from Ohio. Care for a muffin?'" She snorted as she said this, laughing to herself. _

_That was also one of the things I truly loved about this girl. She said whatever was on her mind and she laughed at her own jokes. The fact that she snorted and found herself so entertainingly funny made me find her all the more charming. _

_"Just because I didn't feel the need to dress like a street hooker in Ohio, Ash, doesn't mean that I'm a good little girl." I said a little fiercely. Trying to hide that fact that I was partly lying. _

_"Oh yeah?" She answered with a smirk on her face. "I don't believe you." _

_In a moment of insane boldness, I walked over to her and closely put my face near hers. "You should." I whispered as I smacked the magazine from her hand. I snickered and walked away. _

_Ashley looked momentarily shocked. I felt her eyes on my back as I returned into my closet, attempting to search for something not so innocent. Again. _

_I heard her say "Whatever Spencer." Just loud enough for me to hear, even though her response would have been much more convincing if it weren't three minutes too late. _

_I decided on a pair of tight black jeans and a scoop-neck t-shirt that clung to me like saran wrap. I really didn't think it was that much different from the v-neck t-shirt I had on earlier, but apparently Ashley thought so. _

_"Better?" I ask her with a bored expression on my face._

_She looks up once again and I think her eyes get a tiny bit wider. Her smile is suddenly adorning her gorgeous face and she says "Much."_

_"I'm hoooooooome." I hear an aggravating voice come from downstairs and then my front door slams shut. _

_Ashley turns her head back to me with an extremely pained expression on her face. It's a mix between her looking like she's going to throw up and her looking like she's about to have a stroke. _

_"I thought you said she was working late?" Ashley hisses at me as she gets up off the bed and joins me in the closet. Pulling at the frays of the pockets of her jeans. Something I know she does when she's really nervous._

_"I-I thought she was!" I say as loudly as I can in that whisper-yell. _

_My mother is not the biggest fan of Ashley Davies. Alright, she really dislikes her. The only reason I don't say that my mother hates Ashley is because to me, that idea is ridiculous. How can someone hate Ashley Davies? How can you hate someone who has seriously the prettiest brown eyes ever. Someone with shiny white teeth and plump, delicious lips? I will never know. My mother never told me that I was never allowed to have Ashley over. She never said I wasn't allowed to hang out with her._

_Well._

_She did say all those things one night but the huge fight it caused made her take them all back. Ashley and my mom don't get along and Ashley hates being at my house when she's home, which really isn't all that much, thank goodness. It would inevitably create a large, unwanted ugly scene if my mother found Ashley here when no one else was home. _

_The short story is that my mother dislikes Ashley so much because she's gay._

_The long story is that my mother dislikes Ashley so much because she's gay. _

_I push Ashley further into my closet as I close the door behind me. Just in time too, as she walks in right as I'm stepping away from the Ashley-filled closet. _

_I'd have no problem being in that closet, I think to myself. _

_"Uh, hi mom." I say as I walk over to my dresser. _

_"Hi Spence, you going out tonight?" She asks me with a gross, cheesy smile on her face as she leans on my doorframe. _

_"Yeah, I'm going out with Chelsea, Ashley, Aiden, and Kyla." I spit the names out quickly. The second my mother hears Ashley's name her smile drops and her eyes squint. I squint my eyes back at her, burrowing my eyes into hers, just daring her to say something. Just daring her to say she disapproves. Just daring her to say she doesn't want me to go. Just daring her to say she dislikes Ashley._

_She doesn't take my dare. _

_"Don't be late." She says shortly and closes my door behind her. _

_My whole body un-tenses the second she leaves and I let all the breath that I had been holding while we had our stare-down out of my mouth. I feel a gentle hand suddenly rubbing circles on my back, and I close my eyes for half a second trying not to shiver outwardly. _

_"You okay?" Ashley asks me quietly, probably scared my mother might come back waltzing into my room. I shrug my shoulders lightly, acutely still aware of the hand that is still moving on my back._

_"It doesn't matter." I tell her when I turn around and give her a sad little smile. She doesn't smile at me, but instead looks unhappy. "You know it doesn't." I say more softly this time. I take her hand that had comforted me seconds before and try to comfort her with mine. Ashley immediately smiles back at me when I squeeze her hand in my own._

_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_The second we walk into the house that is throwing the party I can smell the alcohol. I can smell the cigarette smoke. I can smell the weed. _

_People are already drunkenly stumbling around, with beer stains down their shirts and hickies on their necks. The music is fairly quiet, I'm guessing to not wake the neighborhood and lure the cops. It's not like those cheesy parties you see in movies where kids are playing beer pong on the front lawn. In reality, the cops would be all over that._

_This party is pretty wild though. Me and Kyla make our way towards the kitchen where we are guessing the alcohol is. Ashley, Aiden, and Chelsea have disappeared into the crowd, most likely to say hello to the host or to talk to an acquaintance. After minutes of searching through the fridge for drinks, Kyla comes up empty handed._

_I am propped up, sitting on the island in the middle of the room. _

_"So Spencer, do you think that girl's hot?" Kyla asks me out of nowhere as she closes the fridge door. _

_I am taken completely off guard and I feel myself blush and heat up at her words. Did she see me look at that girl's ass just before? Did she see me staring at Ashley?_

_"Um, I'm sorry, what?" I stutter out, unconvincingly. _

_Kyla is quick to pounce on how I spoke unsurely. "Do. You. Think. That. Girl's. Hot?" she asks again looking me in the eye as she says each word of the question as it's own. _

_"No. Do you?" I challenge. _

_"What about her?" Kyla says still looking straight at me. Her voice sounds like it is ready to never back down. _

_"Kyla. What the hell." I say. I don't want to play her little games anymore. Especially not here. Especially not now. _

_Her features soften and for a second she looks weirdly similar to Ashley. They are sisters, but still. Sometimes I forget that fact because they're so extremely different. And I never once considered them to look anything alike. Kyla is a pretty girl, striking even. But she wasn't Ashley. She in no way had that sexiness to her. _

_"Come on Spence. When were you going to tell me you liked girls? I am your friend, right?" Kyla says. There is a hint, a trace, of hurt in her voice. Showing me that she wasn't trying to hassle me, even though that's just how it came out. She just wanted to be close to me. And I understood._

_The thing was that I never really thought about actually telling someone this fact. That I liked girls. Speaking it in verbal form to a person I was close to meant that it was definitely true. I didn't know if I was ready for that. I was hardly ready to face the fact that I loved my best friend in more ways than one. _

_I'm sick of being not ready, so I just say it. "I'm sorry Ky. I was going to tell you, I just wasn't there yet. I still don't know what it means." I admit honestly. I don't know if I was telling her that or if I was confessing it to myself. _

_Kyla paces over to me on the counter and her eyes look sad. "Shit Spence. I'm a douche. I didn't mean to rush you, I just thought that you had known for a while and weren't saying anything. I'm sorry."_

_"No worries." I give her a sincere smile. I think for a second. "Is it that obvious?" _

_Kyla laughs and smiles. "I like to think I have good gaydar." She pauses for a second, thinking dramatically. "I kind of think Aiden's gay."_

_I snort loudly and hop down from the island. "Shut up." I laugh as I pull her with me into the other room._

_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_"Hey there." Ashley says to me as she puts her arm around my waist. _

_I look at her happily and smile. "Hi." _

_I see Kyla look at me from the corner of my eye, and I see her eyes widen just a tiny bit, something that only I would notice. A flash goes across her face, almost as if a light bulb had just gone off above her. _

_Kyla knows. _

_"Hi queers." I hear a nasty voice say towards where Ashley and I are standing, still with her arm around me and my hand lightly touching it._

_"Hey bitch." Ashley says nastily to Madison. "What brings your super large ass here?" Ashley's arm tightens around me as she says this. _

_Ignoring the question, Madison speaks with disgust. "Why don't you two dykes take this somewhere else." She looks at me, daggers coming out of her eyes. _

_I try to not let her comment affect me. I've been around situations like this before and it never gets easier. But now, with my confusion at its' height, the comment hurts me in a place that should only be filled with love. I will my eyes to not look hurt, but my body betrays my pleas as my heart pounds hurtfully out of my chest. _

_"The host is gay Madison, why don't you put him down." I hear my shaky voice say, trying to be mean, but it just comes out sounding pathetic and weak. _

_"Whatever, you two, especially you" she motions towards Ashley, "are making us" she again motions towards the cheerleaders around her, "uncomfortable."_

_Ashley's arm leaves me and I see her hands curl into fists, visibly shaking. "Fuck you. We're not even doing anything. We're not even together." Ashley swallows after saying this last part. I can see the tension all over body and in her face. _

_Madison sneers at Ashley's words. "Sure. Your stupid little girlfriend is obviously upset Ashley. Why don't you comfort her." She laughs in a high-pitched and horrible tone. _

_Before I know what has happened, Ashley's hand comes into loud contact with Madison's cheek. Slapping her with a force so loud and strong Madison staggers backwards into her friends around her. After that, Madison goes after Ashley, returning the favor and all of a sudden there's an outbreak of fighting. I try to get my bearings and pull my best friend out of this worthless mess, only to be back-handedly slapped by an unknown girl. I stumble backwards into Kyla who had been standing behind me the whole time. _

_The second Ashley realizes that someone touched me she shoves, hard, the girl who slapped me, steps back, and takes my hand, leading me out of the house. _

_At this point, tears are streaming down my eyes, not because I'm crying but because that girls' hand was so dangerously close to my eyes, making them water uncontrollably. I find myself outside and down the street from the house, with Ashley looking hesitantly at my face. _

_"Shit." She mutters lowly, in a deep voice. Her hand comes up to my face and I cringe. When she takes it away, I see a slight trace of blood on her fingers. _

_I guess the girl's nails scratched me on their way across my face. I bring my hand up and feel three deep marks across my cheek, ending extremely close to my eyes. My eyes start to water again after I touch my face and Ashley brings her strong arms around me. _

_"I'm sorry Spence." She says as she brings her hand to push the hair out of my scratches. _

_"It's not your fault." I mumble almost inaudibly into her arm._

_"HEY!" I hear Kyla's high voice coming down the street towards where we're standing. "We should get that cleaned up." She finally breathes out._

_I am now in the Davies' bathroom, with Kyla kneeling in front of me. She's wiping at my face and putting something that is stinging me painfully on my scratches. Ashley is standing next to me, with her back against the wall, rubbing soft circles on the palm of my hand. _

_"Ow." I say mundanely. _

_"Sorry Spence, I know it stings but it'll keep it from getting infected." She says, looking at me with large eyes. "Fuck, that was intense." She says after a moment of silence. _

_I chuckle lightly. "I guess." _

_Ashley's other hand is now on the top part of my head, fingers playing with and stroking my hair. I close my eyes for a long moment while I let her soft touches overcome the hurtful stinging I am feeling on my face._

_"Are you alright?" Ashley asks me quietly. She is not even acknowledging Kyla's presence. _

_"I'll be fine." I sigh out. _

_"Okay, you're good to go." Kyla says. She smiles lightly at me and walks out of the bathroom. _

_I stand up slowly and I feel Ashley immediately put her arms around me, hugging me tenderly. I place my head on her shoulder a second later. I've just been accused of being disgusting, slapped across the face, and now have three bloody lines across my cheek. _

But in Ashley's arms, I've never felt so protected and safe.


	5. The Approaching Curve

**First, thank you all so much for reading and reviewing!  
Second, I have insane amounts of love for all of you. =)  
Third, let me know what you're thinking, reviews would be mucho appreciated!**

**Spencer's POV**

There's nothing more friendship-y than going to the movies with a group of friends on a Saturday night. Thankfully, we had all decided to opt out of going to Slant or someplace like that. We kept it old-fashioned and went for the movie theater option. I hadn't been to a movie in a while.

The last time I was, was when my mom so nicely set me up on a date with a guy that goes to our church. Being in my circumstance and in my condition, I was so not pleased about this. He was nice. But I didn't like the rough feeling I felt when he held my hand. This was just another thing about my mother to abhor. She is determined to find me a nice Catholic boy to go out with, marry, have babies, and die together as the water rushes into our room on the lower level of the boat.

That is _obviously _not happening anytime soon. That will happen when Aiden and Kyla decide to go to Las Vegas to get married. I have no problem in waiting for that.

"Why is this line so fucking looooong." Ashley whines from beside me.

"We've only been here for like five minutes Ash." Kyla says to her from in front of us. She turns around to say this and gives Ashley an evil look.

"No one asked you, _princess_." Ashley retorts back.

"Well when you whine for the whole world to hear, I have a right to say whatever the hell I want." Kyla counters, no emotion in her voice. She plays this game with herself where she tries to show no emotion when talking to her sister. Like she doesn't care.

Kyla plays a lot of games.

Ashley rolls her eyes dramatically, so much so that I can almost see her doing it without even looking at her face.

But why would I not look at her face?

To Kyla's defense though, we really have only been in this line for like five minutes and counting.

"What are we seeing again?" Aiden asks us from over his shoulder.

"Some movie about war and stuff." Ashley says animatedly.

Aiden's face falls. "Ugh. Can't we see something nicer?"

I cannot believe that I never caught on to Aiden not being totally straight. Now, he has come to say that he is bisexual. Right now, he really does stand in the middle but I honestly think it's only a matter of time before he teeters to the boy side. It was one of those things that nobody ever realized until it happened and then it became so totally obvious. I wonder where I fall within that type of thinking. Can you tell that I'm gay? Is it obvious? When, and more importantly _if_ I ever come out, will people be like "Yeah, and…" Or will they say "No way!" I have no idea, I've thought about it a lot. It's hard to look at yourself from an outside point of view. Whenever I try to think about it all my mind keeps going back to is Ashley Davies. How will I ever figure myself out if Ashley is always clouding my mind?

"Jesus Aiden. I know you're gay now but be a man about it." Ashley laughs out. Aiden turns totally around now to face us.

"I'm not gay_, __Ashley_. Why are you, the 'unlabeled one' labeling everyone." He pauses. "What's Spencer's label then? You never attack _her_."

Aiden looks at Ashley seriously and Ashley's expression turns from anger and then she's smirking.

"She's way too cute to attack." She looks at me and I feel myself blushing like a moron, against my better judgment.

I can't stop the smile forming on my lips as I hear her words. I might have blushed and given my complete euphoria at her statement away, but it was so worth it to hear her say that. Even though I cannot control my body, expressions, or thoughts around her, it is always worth it to hear her say something like that to me. To see her smile widely at me while her dimples are just begging to be touched by my hand.

"Ugh, whatever. Kyla?" Aiden calls for Kyla's defense and back up.

Kyla turns her head slightly, back still facing us. "I'm not interested in this conversation anymore. " She responds plainly.

I chuckle lightly. I know she's still peeved from her short spat with Ashley. I also know that she in no way wants to get between anything that involves me and Ashley. I've had an inkling for a while that she knows how I feel. Sometimes I think she just thinks that I have a little bit of a crush on her sister. But whenever I see her glances between us when we're together, or hear her little comments, I think better. And when she sees my ever-present blush and large eyes always zooming on Ashley, I know she can see the insanely large part of my heart that belongs solely to Ashley.

Ashley sticks her tongue out at Aiden, pushing the fact that he has no back up or help for defending himself. I'm torn away from looking at Ashley's tongue and questioning to myself whether it would _really_ be that big of a deal if I just bit it lightly, when a girl stands right next to me.

I immediately notice the red color of her hair, and it's cute.

"Is your girlfriend buying your ticket?" The girl turns towards me and Ashley. Pointing between us.

"Uh, she's not my girlfriend." I spit out quickly. Obviously, too quickly, because Ashley is wearing a weird expression on her face, one I can't read. Almost as if my quick answer bothered her.

"Oh." The girl says slowly with a smile coming to her lips. She is slightly shorter than me and I will admit, she's pretty cute. She's got a bunch of freckles that are coving her nose and under her eyes. "I'm Robin." She extends her hand to me and I shake it, feeling the cool metal of her rings brush against my fingers.

"Spencer." I point to myself. Robin lends her hand to Ashley but Ashley just looks at it and then looks the girl in the eye. She makes no initiation of movement and it doesn't look like she's going to say anything.

"Er, this is Ashley." I let Robin know as I touch Ashley on the shoulder lightly. Robin raises her eyebrow just the tiniest bit before focusing her eyes back on mine. They are a nice shade of brown.

But nothing compared to Ashley's.

"What are you guys seeing?" Robin asks us with a smile on her face. Aiden and Kyla now turn around, probably wanting to know who this random girl is.

"We're seeing the war one." Kyla speaks up. Pulling some lip-gloss out of her Chanel purse. Robin's eyes flicker quickly to Kyla but then come back to mine. She smiles.

"Cool, me too." She says to us. I think for a second her eyes washed over to my lips, but I can't be entirely sure.

"Are you alone? You should sit with us!" Aiden says in a high-pitched voice.

Up until now, Ashley has said nothing from beside me. But immediately after Aiden asks Robin to join our group, she pipes up.

"What?" She says kind of loudly. Her eyes wander over to Robin who is standing there, smiling, to Aiden who is looking at her with a confused expression, and then they end with mine. Her forehead is all creased and her chocolate eyes are strongly penetrating my own.

"Well, she obviously doesn't have anyone to sit with, if she did why would she be talking to a bunch of strangers?" Aiden says loudly, motioning to the four of us. "God, can't you be nice for a second, Ashley?"

Ashley snaps her head to him at his comment and glares at him.

"Yeah, my date had to leave suddenly, she said it was an emergency. " Robin says to us.

"That sucks." Kyla deadpans.

"Yeah, but I'd like to have someone to sit with," Her eyes meet mine and I hear Ashley snort from beside me, "that'd be nice, thanks." Robin smiles warmly at Aiden and then back at me.

"Sure thing." Aiden says happily.

The rest of the time on the line is spent with me and Aiden talking with Robin. He seems to like her and they are getting along well. In the way that a gay guy and a gay girl get along.

They both love scarves, or something weird like that.

I'm actually enjoying Robin's company as well. She seems really down-to-Earth and cool. I don't get why Ashley is ignoring her and scoffing lightly at almost everything she says. She hasn't done any harm and honestly, she's looking too cute to be able to do any harm. Kyla is semi-interested in the conversation. She says something every once in a while but mostly she is focused on looking over to Ashley.

I have to tell Robin three times that she doesn't have to buy my ticket, and with reluctance she doesn't. Buying a movie ticket is, to me, an intimate interaction with a person. It's for dates or close friendships. Not for random cute girls to do to strangers. But her want to do it still makes me blush just a tiny bit.

Ashley usually buys my ticket, or I buy hers, it's just a habit that we're formed. But Robin stands in front of Ashley when paying. I want to get Ashley's ticket but I feel like it would be rude to ask for two and then not give it to Robin after she wanted to buy mine.

So I just buy my own ticket. Simple.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I find myself sitting between Ashley and Robin in the theater. Aiden is sitting next to Robin and apparently talking her ear off. She seems happily invested in the conversation.

Kyla is sitting next to Aiden on the end. "So are you gay?" Kyla asks with no reservations. Like it's the most normal thing to ask a stranger.

"Yeah. Are you?" Robin doesn't miss a beat in her answer and comeback question.

"Not much." Kyla says as she leans back in her seat talking to Aiden.

I don't know what "Not much" means but I know it is only something Kyla would say. Obviously pleased with Robin's conversational skills, she leaves her alone.

Ashley gains my attention when she slumps in her seat and asks me if I want some of her popcorn. I can't help but notice how adorable she looks, with her eyes wide peeking from under the hood of her sweatshirt. My breath catches when I see part of her exposed stomach right above the waistband of her jeans.

She stretches the bucket towards me but then pulls it away quickly just when my hand was about to reach in. She grins slyly at me and stretches it back.

"_Thanks _Ash." I exaggerate and laugh at her.

She nods her head. "Its here if you want it." She says rather seriously.

I glance back at her, her eyes on the screen in front of us. "Okay." I say lightly.

After the movie, we all go our separate ways. But first, Robin pulls me aside from Ashley, Aiden, and Kyla. I hear Aiden and Kyla bickering in the background and I feel Ashley's eyes burning into the back of my head.

"Thanks for letting a total stranger chill with you guys. It was nice." Robin says shyly to me. I smile back at her.

"Of course. It's nice to meet someone who's not a judgmental asshole." I laugh out. Robin chuckles sincerely.

"Anyway. I was kind of wondering-" Robin pauses tentatively, obviously nervous about what she's about to say. "Wondering if I could give you my number?"

I would be lying if I said I was not totally expecting her advance. And although it is a slight one, it still makes me nervous. This means it's for real. A girl, a cute girl with freckles, is interested in me.

I stutter a bit before saying anything. Then I think, _well, why not?_ Right? "Sure." I reply smiling. I give her my phone for her to put in her number. And I surprise her by grabbing hers from her hand and putting in my number. I can't help but think that technology, especially cell phones, are tricky things. And how intimate something like dialing numbers on a cool metal or plastic surface can be. Special even.

"Cool." Robin smiles at me. It takes a lot in me to not compare her smile to Ashley's. It's not as wide, her nose doesn't crinkle, and she doesn't get those adorable little dimples. In the end, I end up doing and thinking just that. We say our goodbyes and that's that.

"Spencer's got a _girlfriend._" Aiden sings as I walk back to them. I tell him to shut up.

"Wanna walk?" Ashley asks me slowly as we make our way to Aiden's car.

"Yeah, sure." I reply, thinking that I hadn't really talked to her the whole night. Something weird that has never happened before.

"Alright, well we're driving. Goodnight guys." Kyla says to us as she takes Aiden's arm and drags him down the street.

"Night Kyla." Ashley says after them weirdly. I think that was one of the first times I had ever heard her be somewhat nice to her sister. I don't get it.

Ashley and I start to walk down the street, past rows of stores and eventually past skylines of houses.

"So you like that girl?" Ashley speaks the first words between us since we started walking home. Her words are hushed and said tentatively.

"Um. She's nice I guess."

"She's gay and she likes you." Ashley says immediately, the tiniest trace of venom in her voice.

"She's just friendly." I answer slowly, not even partially believing the lie that comes stupidly from my dumb, dumb mouth.

Ashley snorts loudly at my response. "Bullshit. She wants you up, down, and sideways. You could tell by the way she was looking at you Spence."

I don't say anything for a moment. "I don't think so Ash. I mean, well maybe. So?" My ability to form complete thoughts is slowly slipping away as I try to digest this situation.

Was- was Ashley _jealous_?

Ashley ignores my question and stops walking to turn to face me. "What, do you like girls?" She doesn't say this last part meanly. There was curiosity all over her voice patterns and expressions.

"I- I…" My words stutter and my mouth is suddenly dry, making it difficult, more difficult than before, to form words.

Is this it? Is this the moment when I come out to my best friend? Is this idea really so surprising to her? I always thought maybe she had a clue. She never said anything about my orientation, because I always assumed she applied the "unlabeled" to me as well. If this was the moment that it was really, truly happening in, it was nothing like I ever pictured it. It was not supposed to be over some girl that so obviously hit on me even when I denied it. This moment was supposed to be for Ashley. But then again, how could I _ever_ have the slightest, smallest chance of having her when she didn't even know I liked girls. But did it matter? Was I delusional in thinking I even had a chance with her?

One billion things were running through my head as she looked at me, waiting for an answer to her loaded question patiently.

Her question was like a loaded gun pointing to my temple.

It was like Russian Roulette. I would pull the trigger and either get shot down painfully or just stay where I was. The pain was not in the majority. But nothing is certain.

"I guess so." Those are the words that I have decided to say quietly to my best friend with the plethora of emotions running through her eyes. None of which I could decipher.

All Ashley does is nod and keep walking.

That was probably the least graceful way I could ever come out to anyone.

"Are you going to call her?" Ashley asks not looking at me, but at the warm air in front of her as we reach my house.

"Probably not." Is my truthful reply.

Ashley so obviously tries not to smile at my response. All she says is "Okay."

And I probably wouldn't call Robin. Even though she really was cute and nice. But she didn't leave any kind of significant, lasting impression on my mind.

And _especially _not on my heart.

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**Note: All of the chapter titles are titles of songs that I think fit pretty well with the content of the chapters. Just for fun, if anyone knows what any of the songs are and wants to let me know, that would be super super cool. Have a fantastic weekend! =D**


	6. Butterflies And Hurricanes

****I, unfortunately, do not own South of Nowhere.  
Hope you like this chapter as much as I do!  
Feedback is quite lovely as is just reading and enjoying =)**

**Ashley's POV  
**

**I Love  
how you wipe my tears away with your thumb**

_I've had a few dinners at the Carlin Residence. Just a few, though. They're nice, refreshing, you know? There are so few families today that actually sit down and have a dinner together. Mashed Potatoes. Steak. Salad. Jesus, even salad. That might have been the first time I ever had a homemade salad with dressing. It was like it was out of a Children's Book._

_One of the reasons I don't do dinner there much is because of Spencer's mom, Paula. I'm not so fond of her and I am one hundred percent sure she is not fond of me either. I know because she lets me know quite frequently. In that obnoxious passive-aggressive way. It had always been in that way. Until one night it wasn't. Until one night it was more out there in the open, for everyone to see and to hear. _

_Maybe Paula didn't like me because I had a couple of tattoos in some places where it's deemed "skanky." I don't care though, they mean something and that is all that matters to me. Maybe Paula doesn't like me because I have too much metal in my ears and face for her liking. Maybe Paula doesn't like me because I'm not a nice little Catholic boy for her cherished daughter to date. Maybe Paula doesn't like me because I'm gay. _

_I was lying on Spencer's bed reading a magazine while she did homework on her computer. It amazed me how she could just sit down and actually put effort into her homework. I was never one for homework or high school. It seemed so pointless. Some people were just not made for school. That was not Spencer. _

_"God, Ashlee Simpson is such a hoe, but so hot." I said into the air. _

_I saw Spencer's shoulders move up and down in a fit of giggles. "You _always _say that Ash."_

_"Cause it's true!" I exclaimed. _

_I loved that I could be myself around Spencer. I loved that I didn't have to hide who I was, not that I usually did that. But it was nice to know she wasn't judging. It was nice to know she wouldn't throw out some homophobic insult anytime anything like that was brought up. I loved that she liked me for me, for being Ashley. And not anything or anyone else. _

_I know I've said I'm not into labels, but I didn't know about Spencer. I was pretty sure she was straight. She'd always had boyfriends and never any kind of contact with a girl in that way. Something I could not say for myself. I wanted to ask her if she had an interest in girls. Sometimes she'd give hints of it. Like when she said she watched some of Girltrash!, but "because it's funny." Or like when she'd stare too long at a girl's tattoo. But then again, she'd always tell me about guys she thought were hot. _

_I knew her family was conservative, but up until that night I hadn't known the extent of it. _

_The door to Spencer's bedroom opened and Paula stepped inside._

_"So I guess you're staying for dinner, Ashley." She said, not looking at me._

_"Yeah, thanks." I replied, not looking at her but at my magazine. I glanced at Spencer when she got up and saw the small of her back exposed for a second. My eyes stayed a second too long and I put my nose back in my magazine. _

_"Well, it will be ready soon, Spence." Paula said sternly, most likely catching my mistake. _

_"Alright mom, we'll be right down." Spencer said while pulling a hoodie over her head. It happened to be mine and it fit her perfectly, I might add. Paula left and Spencer hopped on the bed next to me, smelling all sweet._

_"That's mine, you know." I smirked as I said this slowly, meeting her eyes seconds later. _

_She shrugged. "It's comfy."_

_I chuckled lightly. "Well you do look cute in it." I said, trying to sound joking but not pulling it off._

_Spencer smiled wide at me. _

_"DINNER!" Was yelled from somewhere downstairs, pulling us out of our moment. I followed Spencer down the stairs and into the dining room. _

_We had to say grace before dinner. It didn't bother me much I just am not one for religion. I don't see the point and I certainly don't practice or call myself anything. It was slightly uncomfortable at the worst but whatever. _

_I honestly can't say what they were talking about because I was just zoning on the food. Eating a home-cooked dinner was nice and I was starving. My "family," and I use the term family loosely, didn't do home-cooked dinners. My "family" didn't do much of anything. _

"_This is amazing." I said once I had fully chewed and swallowed some food._

"_I try." Glen said from across the table. I rolled my eyes at him._

"_Be quiet Glen. Thank you Ashley. I try too." Spencer's dad, Arthur said. He was always nice to me, welcoming. He was definitely my second favorite Carlin. _

"_So I talked to Mrs. Winfield today, and they're having some problems with Sharon." Paula said to Spencer from across the table. _

_I guess that was one of Spencer's friends from Ohio. She never talked about them and I didn't mind. She always said her friends here were better. I loved it when she said stuff like that. It made me feel like I could be good at something. At being a friend. Especially to her. _

"_Oh really, what's going on?" Spencer asked curiously with her mouth full. I glanced sideways at her and smiled at her cuteness. _

"_Supposedly she has some type of 'girlfriend', or something. Charles and Kim are _obviously_ not happy." Paula said with a twinge of disgust and pity in her voice, putting air quotes around the word girlfriend._

_Spencer just looked at her mother for a few seconds while no one else said anything. _

"_And what's wrong with that?" Spencer asked roughly. I glanced at her again, but this time it was out of nervousness. I didn't like where this conversation, especially with how Paula was speaking, was going._

_Paula looked at Spencer with a confused look on her face and then looked at Arthur._

"_Obviously it's not right.' She said simply. Simply like a bitch. _

_I saw Spencer tense out of the corner of my eye and braced myself for something I didn't think I would be enjoying much. I was used to people being like this, close-minded and horrid. The way Spencer was tensing showed that she had never fully realized her mother felt this way. _

"_Why does it matter who someone likes?" Spencer almost yelled and I almost coughed loudly but I held my surprise at her outburst in. _

"_Yeah, Ashley likes girls." Glen spat out. I don't know if he was defending me, trying to ease the situation, make it even more uncomfortable and awkward, or just being an asshole. But it was so not the right thing to say at the moment. _

_So not the right thing to say. _

_Paula squinted her eyes at me. I knew she had always known, I don't know how, I don't know if someone told her. And I knew she never liked me, ever. But I guess having it displayed out in the open like that made her hatred for me even stronger. _

"_It's just not right. I do not approve, and neither does God." She said venomously. _

"_Mom!" Spencer yelled._

"_Paula." Arthur whispered, like there was something stuck in his throat. He was obviously at a loss for words._

_I, on the other hand, was not._

"_I don't need anyone's approval, _especially_ not God's to tell me who to love. A person is a person. I know it's right to love. No matter who."_

_Paula shook her head at me. "No, it's not. It's against human nature."_

_I scoffed lightly and stood up from my seat. I'm not the most level headed person and I will defend myself for being who I am late into the night, but this woman made me sick. I felt put-down, disgusting, and most importantly, not the person I thought I was. And I hated that this woman made me feel all the things I for so long had thought I put behind me. Loathing coursed through me. I wanted to scream and smack her. But I didn't want to make a scene, especially not at Spencer's house with her watching my every move. I couldn't do that to her, no matter how much I desperately wanted to. _

"_Too bad you feel that way." I said in a disgusted tone. "I guess that's my cue to leave. Thank you for dinner, Mr. C" I said and mustered up the strength to give him a smile. It was basically impossible. Then I walked from the room and out onto the porch. _

_I didn't expect her to follow me. I didn't expect her to care that much. I heard lots of yelling as I sat down on the bench for a second before I left, to clear my head before driving off crazily and pissed, into the night. I could feel some tears wanting to brim my eyes, but there was no way I would allow them to fall. Not now. Not because of one woman. Even if that woman was the mother of a girl I cared deeply for. A girl I cared for more than anyone else. A girl I think I was starting to care about more than myself. _

_I heard the door click behind me and I looked back to see Spencer with tears streaming out of her eyes and falling down her red cheeks. She was not sobbing or making any noise, they were just silent tears. The most heart-breaking kind._

_And it's true. My heart broke at the sight of her._

_I wrung my hands together as I stood up to meet her, about to motion to my car that I was leaving. But before I could do that Spencer had her arms around my waist, holding me close to her._

_My heart came to life. _

_I hugged her back, rubbing my hands up and down her back, trying my hardest to soothe her. To let her know it was alright. _

_A muffled "I'm sorry" came out of her mouth, which was pressed tightly against my shoulder. She pulled her head back to look at me, tears clouding her beautiful eyes, making then shiny. "I'm so sorry Ash, you so didn't deserve that." More tears. _

_I put my hands up to her face and wiped her tears away with my thumbs. The tears kept coming and I kept wiping them softly, loving how soft her skin was, even though that was probably the last thing I should have been thinking about at that moment. _

"_You have nothing to be sorry about Spence." I whispered to her. A sob came. I took her hand in mine and led her to the soft grass in front of the house. I sat down and brought her onto my lap. I felt her shaking in my arms as she put her hands around my neck, burying her face in my shirt. _

_She laughed and kind of snorted in the middle of crying. "Why are you consoling me, you're the one who just got…whatever'ed in there." She smiled sadly at me. "I never knew she was _really_ like that." Spencer sighed into the air. _

_I had had a hunch that she was. _

"_No worries." I said lightly to her. I pressed my forehead to her temple, bringing my nose to nuzzle the side of her face. I shouldn't have initiated such intimate contact. It was selfish. But I just couldn't help myself. I didn't want Spencer to be sad. And I didn't want to be sad. Being with her like this, quietly, tenderly, made me happy. I could only hope it did for her too._

"_Spence?" I asked tentatively. _

_Reading my mind, Spencer spoke strongly, the strongest I had heard her speak all night. "She won't keep me from seeing you."_

_I felt an internal wave of relief when she promised me this. I admit that there was a part of me that had feared that this might happen. _

_I wanted, needed, to know that what Spencer said would be true. _

_I didn't voice my insecurities though. _

_I just kept wiping hers away from her wonderfully gorgeous face. _


	7. Let's Make This Moment A Crime

**Enjoy!!  
Special thanks to **chloedarko**, for leaving love for every chapter. You're awesome! And special thanks to everyone else for being totally awesome as well**** =D**

**Ashley's POV**

I sit in my desk basically falling asleep.

I glance out of the corner of my eye to my right and see Spencer furiously scribbling in her notebook. I swear she writes down every single word that our teacher says. I laugh quietly to myself, knowing I will appreciate her studiousness later, and I would no doubt copy down those notes. She always let me. I'd be failing if it weren't for her.

She always made sure I did well in school, even though she knew I hated it. My heart swelled with love for the girl, the girl who wanted to make sure I did well. Who cared about me. _Me_.

And I knew she knew I gave that care back. How could I not?

Even when she was mad at me she let me copy her notes and sometimes cheat off of her.

_"You blew me off!" Spencer yelled at me, loudly I might add. _

_I was supposed to go with her to the mall with her to pick out a dress for one of her mom's work parties. I had promised earlier in the week, I felt bad, I did. But it had just slipped my mind. Slipped my mind while I was drunkenly feeling up some girl I met at Slant the previous night. _

_"Spence, I'm sorry." I said as sweetly as I could muster, giving her my sorry face. The one I thought she couldn't resist. I guess she could this time. _

_"I don't care. You said you would come. You didn't." she said angrily. This was the first, and one of the few, times that I had seen her so pissed off. I knew I wasn't supposed to enjoy how sexy she looked all mad and puffing. I knew I wasn't supposed to notice her arms flinging wildly in the air while she yelled at me. And how cute it was._

_I just could not help it. _

_"It slipped my mind." I said weakly, feeling truly bad now. I never wanted to make her angry. Especially upset. _

_"What were you doing?" Her voice asked venomously as my eyes found her white carpet of her room extremely fascinating. _

_"I-" I started but she quickly cut me off._

_"You were fucking drunk."_

_My eyes immediately shot up to look into her angry ones. Spencer doesn't usually curse, and when she does, there is good reason for it. She saves those horrible words that should never come out of her sweet mouth for only the most serious situations. _

_I was fucked. _

_"I just, I, not that much, I.." I fumbled around stupidly for a response. "Yeah." I finally confessed, my brown eyes meeting her pissed off blue ones. _

_"I don't even wanna know what you were doing." She said dejectedly. _

_"I'm sorry Spencer, I'm really sor-" I pleaded with her but again, she cut me off. I guess she was sick of my shit. _

_"Just don't let it happen again Ash." She said as she walked towards me, her anger dissolving visibly with every step. And then her arms were around me, hugging me in a new way. She sighed. "I wish I could be mad at you." She proclaimed quietly, and I understood immediately. _

_Because I felt the same exact way._

_She let me go and threw her notebook on the bed next to me. "Copy the notes, jerk. We have a quiz tomorrow." _

_I smiled lightly at her and it turned into a full grin when she laughed at me._

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That's when I knew. The second she hugged me that night, I knew she was just more than an ordinary friend to me. Anyone else, I wouldn't have given a shit about something so trivial as forgetting to go to the mall. Anyone else, I just would have said, "Get over it." But this wasn't anyone else. This was Spencer, and I knew then that I never wanted her to feel any kind of anger because of me. I decided a long time ago, that if I had to pin a moment, just one, it would be then that I had, against my better judgment, fallen so deeply in love with my best friend. Or at least realized it.

I start to doodle on an index card I find squished in my notebook. Meaningless lines turn into words, and soon enough I block everything, the teacher, the lesson, the students, out of my head.

It isn't much, really it's just the same words written over and over again. My name is called four times before I actually distinguish it.

"Ashley Davies!"

"Uh, yes?" I say to my teacher.

"Do you want to let the class know what is so extremely important and more interesting than my lecture?" He says with venom. He hates me.

I laugh out loud, louder than is necessary. "Not particularly."

He hates me with good reason. I am an ass.

He lets out a pained sound. "Go." He says and points to the door. He wants me to go to the office. I know the drill all too well.

"My pleasure." I spit and get up, leaving my stuff, not really caring at the moment. I look over to Spencer and she is wearing a small frown. She doesn't like when I get in trouble. I wink at her as I leave and this leaves a smile on her face. As long as she smiles, I don't care about much else.

After school, after spending the rest of it in the office arguing about my "crimes," all I want to do is go home and hang out with Spencer. All I want to do is just sit with her on my bed and watch a movie, with her all cuddled up to me keeping me warm.

All I _really_ want to do is be with her.

She is waiting by my car when I walk into the parking lot, holding my bag and my leather jacket that I left in class.

"You just can't stop yourself, can you Ash?" She asks me, a slight furrow in her brow. But there is a trace of a smile on her lips.

"Thanks Spence." I motion for my stuff and plop it in the car as we get in.

"He has good reason to hate you, you know. You never listen." She tells me as the radio plays lightly in the background of the moving car.

I give her a devilish grin. "That's what you're for babe."

She punches my arm hard and I laugh out loud. Trying to focus on the road, and not how she knows she can't hurt me in the slightest. Not physically, at least. But her trying is adorable.

"My house?" I ask. Even though I am already parked outside of it.

"Apparently." She says with a smile and gets out of the car. I do too and walk towards the door. I don't hear her follow me, though.

"Ash?" I hear her voice in back of me. It is hesitant. Scared, almost.

I turn around to see her leaning against my car, looking at me under the brightness of the California sun. Her Chucks melting into the hot pavement. I walk back towards her, stopping so I am facing her.

"Come on. It's hot out here and I need me some air conditioning." I chuckle as I motion for us to go into the house.

She doesn't move, but keeps looking at me. Her hand takes something out of her back pocket of her faded jeans and she stretches it out across the few feet separating us to me.

The index card. My index card. I left it right on top of my notebook. She obviously saw it when she so sweetly got my stuff for me. After I was an ass.

I'm sweating lightly now, scared. _Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit._ I don't know if I'm embarrassed. I don't know if there is something to be embarrassed about. I'm just nervous.

Without a word, I take it from her hand, her eyes still deeply burrowing into mine. Lighting me on fire. I glance at the card and start to say something when I do a double take and see that my own lonely, two word phrases, simply written over and over, are not the only words there. Under each one is Spencer's bubbly handwriting, squished into the spaces.

**I Love**

_how you make me feel protected and safe_

**I Love**

_how you wipe my tears away with your thumb_

**I Love**

_how my head fits perfectly in your neck_

**I Love**

_the way you hug me like you never want to let go_

**I Love**

_how you make my heart beat fast_

**I Love**

_you more than you probably know_

I am so shocked for a few minutes that I have no idea what to do with myself.

Those few minutes with us both being silent are the longest three minutes of my entire, up until now, pointless life.

"Spence?" I croak out hoarsely and take a step towards her. There is not much space between us now.

For the first time in a while her head dips down and she draws imaginary circles in the pavement with her sneakers. "I'm sorry..." She starts to explain quietly. "I just, it was there, and I couldn't leave it alone-"

She stops abruptly and looks back into my eyes when I bring my finger to gently push her chin upwards. I trace the outline of her chin and jaw with that finger and press my forehead to hers and I see her eye lids flutter. Open and close. But stay open.

And I do not hesitate when I kiss her softly.

Because this is an ultimate moment. This is my moment of bravery and I don't care what happens. Even though it's quite obvious that she seems to feel something like what I feel for her, I am still unsure and scared and terrified. Because nothing is certain. But I am sick of letting moments like these pass by and not doing anything with them. And I definitely had my moments.

Like when she admitted she liked girls.

Like when she told me that not even her devil mother could keep us apart.

Like when I slapped Madison because she dared to hurt _my_ best friend.

Like when I told her I loved her more.

I'm sick of pretending that moments like this one don't mean something so much greater. Because they do. So I might not be ready, or confident.

But I see Spencer. And that is why I do not hesitate when I kiss her.

My heart pounds wildly out of my chest for the whole two and a half seconds that she does not react, thinking I've made some ridiculous mistake. But then my heart skips a beat when she does react. When her eyes close and she kisses me back softly, bringing her small hands to my shoulders to steady herself. And I put my hands on her waist to hold myself up just in case I pass out from everything coursing through me.

Desire. Safety. Want. Love.

I press myself further against her body, trapping her between me and my car as my hands softly rub her hips and hers slide up around my neck, pulling me closer to her. So our whole bodies are touching lengthwise.

I feel her soft lips constant against mine and I know I will never be able to go back to not having them there. I need to breathe for a small second, so I pull away a millimeter before going right back in, because I wouldn't be able to stop myself if I tried. I feel Spencer's tongue run along my bottom lip and I'm sure I moan quietly into her mouth, letting her in where she is so very wanted.

Where she has been wanted for a long time.

I suck on her muscle and she grunts slightly. And I am loving that I am the one person eliciting these sounds of pleasure from her.

When we finally separate, there are no words needed. No confessions of love, no need to comfort, no talks to ask, "What are we?" These things are not needed because they seem so trivial to what I feel, what I know we both feel. We don't have to say it because we simply know it. I know Spencer is mine.

Because I was hers so, so long ago.

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**Ahhh I cannot contain my excitement at this chapter in! It was one of the first parts I ever wrote for the story. Let me know what your thoughts on "the moment" are haha.  
And **unxlabeled**, I believe you said something about a smile? ;)****  
Peace**


	8. Bite My Tongue

**Thanks for the sweet reviews on the last chapter! =)**

**I Love**

_how my head fits perfectly in your neck_

**Spencer's POV**

_"Guys, um, how did we get in here?" Glen asked tentatively while he held two drinks, one in each hand. _

_"We know people, Glen." Kyla answered evenly to him. There was the slightest smile on her face, like she was just pretending to be mean to him. I think she liked him too much to actually have any nastiness in her words when she spoke to him. _

_Ashley spoke up from beside me, her voice loud over the music. "Actually, _I _know people, Kyla. We wouldn't be here if it weren't for me." She shot a cold stare at Kyla._

_"Be nice." I said to Ashley while I turned my head towards her. She was expressionless for a second before she smirked._

_"Or what?" She countered. Then she propped her eyebrow up at me, her face dangerously close to my own. _

_I would have totally been up for coming back at her with some witty, semi-flirtatious comment. I tried hard to think of one but her eyes and her face were distracting me. The way her neck was exposed because her hair was up was distracting me. Her eyelashes were distracting me. _

God, I really needed to get a grip.

_We were at some club opening and it's true, if it weren't for Ashley, Kyla, Glen, Aiden, Chelsea, and I would not have gotten in. They were strict on age and I.D.'s. Ashley had open-mic'd at another club that the part-owner was invested in. We were golden. _

_Eventually we split into small fractions. Aiden found some random girl to buy a drink and charm over with stupid comments and stupid grins. Kyla dragged Glen to the dance floor in a rare moment of cuteness, for her, at least. I could see them dancing and they were whispering in each other's ears. It looked way more intimate for friends. They were all over each other. _

_That's when Ashley's mouth found it's way to my ear and whispered "You want a drink?" _

_That's when I thought, do people ever look at me and Ashley in the way I just looked at Glen and Kyla? Too close for friends but not together. Is that possibly the reason that people always ask us if we're together? Like the usher at the movie theater. Like the girl at the coffee shop. And, unfortunately, like the girl at Slant who asked us if she could "join us." _

_I turned my attention to Ashley and her question. "Yeah sure." I smiled at her. _

_"Spencer." Chelsea said from beside me as Ashley glided over to the bar to obtain some kind of alcoholic beverage. I kind of hoped she just got me a beer. I was not in the mood for hard alcohol. _

_"Chelsea." I replied in the same tired tone she had used. _

_"Spencer!" She half yelled now. I didn't get the point of this little game._

_"Chelsea." I said again, this time laughing at her. _

_"Come on, could you want her more?" She exaggerated her words. Like we were in some Shakespearean drama production. _

_"Want? Want who more? More than what?" I wasn't nervous to play stupid. I was coming out of the denial phase, but still slightly there. Her claims, whatever they were going to be, had no support._

_Or so I thought._

_"Don't play stupid." Chelsea said reading my over-active mind. "You're not good at hiding it, you know." She thought for a short second. "I think she feels the same way."_

_"Chelsea!" I sincerely exclaimed this time. "You have no idea what you're talking about and neither do I."_

_"Ugh, fine play dumb." She paused. "Ashley." She said this as her eyes slowly started to narrow and dig into my own. _

_"Ashley's my best friend. If either of us had more intentions, it would have happened already." I said with a slight edge in my voice. My comment came with a caustic bite to it. And that is the exact moment I came out of my denial and entered acceptance. I wanted so incredibly badly to believe what I had just said. As bad as a kid wants a bike under the tree on Christmas. My statement was supposed to defer Chelsea and myself from the impending truth of the situation._

_But then it struck me totally the wrong way. Yes, I wanted Ashley. Was what I said true? If either of us had other intentions beside friendship, would it have happened already? Was what Chelsea said true? Did Ashley feel the same way? Obviously Chelsea was wrong, because something would have happened already if she were right. Right?_

_I was confusing myself more with this line of thinking. If nothing had happened yet, does that mean nothing would ever happen? I so desperately wanted to not believe that._

_But a little voice inside my head was saying _"Get over it, Spencer."

_As my mind was working itself into a frenzy at that very moment, that is when I chose to look over at Ashley. I looked for comfort but found only a stinging pain right in my chest. _

_There Ashley was, in some deep conversation with some girl I had never seen before. She was very skinny, and very pretty, and very…supermodel-y. The semi-supermodel was leaning into Ashley spectacularly close. _

_I knew there were girls and guys alike who wanted Ashley. How could I blame them? I knew girls hit on her all the time. But I had never seen it up close and personal, in the flesh. So intense like this. This semi-supermodel was obviously not playing around. Her hand was on Ashley's thigh and she was whispering something, probably something sexy and cool, into Ashley's ear. My lungs felt like they were going to explode. Was that what I had to be like if I ever wanted a chance? _

_Did I even have a chance?_

_Chelsea gazed in my direction, looked at what I was staring at, probably saw the foam coming out of my snarling mouth, and then her eyes were on mine. She raised her eyebrows at me, accentuating the fact that she was dead-on. That she was right. _

_And then Ashley and the semi-supermodel were in front of Chelsea and I. No one talked yet as Ashley handed me my drink. I took it without looking at her. _

_"This is Carrie. Carrie, this is Spencer and Chelsea." Ashley broke the silence and said. Carrie the semi-supermodel had her hands around Ashley's waist and a stupid, stupid, stupid smile on her face, showing off her overly white teeth. _

_I told my eyes to burn holes into her slender arms that were draped around Ashley. _

_"Hi, nice to meet you." Chelsea said in an over-nice way. _

_Carrie the semi-supermodel said something but I didn't know what it was. Then she looked at me._

_"Uh, hi." I said, keeping my eyes on her and focusing all of my energy on not looking at Ashley. _

_There was some sort of conversation about how they knew each other and blah blah blah. I didn't care. _

_Then Carrie the semi-supermodel was dragging my best friend away saying, "Let's dance babe!" _

_I would have loved to throw my beer bottle at her pretty head. Besides the point that I was just a tad jealous, I was angry. Angry because _that_ was the kind of girl that Ashley was in to. I didn't even want to imagine how many clones of Carrie the semi-supermodel Ashley had been with. And besides from being angry, I was upset. Because I could never be like that. And if I could never be like that, then I could never be Ashley's._

_"What a whore-bag." I said slightly slurred as I commanded the bartender to give me another shot. _

_Screw not wanting hard alcohol. _

_"God Spencer, you said whore, you must be pissed." Chelsea said from beside me sitting on a barstool, "So will you admit now that you're jealous?"_

_I looked pointedly at her and squinted my eyes. "Sure, I'm jealous that whore-bag is consuming all of my best friend's time." _

_"Just like you're consuming all the vodka behind the bar?" Chelsea laughed slightly, knowing that was all she was going to get out of me. _

_"Exactly." I told her. I was at the point of being not-totally-able-to-stand-drunk. "Would you go out with me?" I asked Chelsea and she just laughed at me again. _

_"Of course Spencer. If I were gay." She said with a comforting smile on her face. "You're totally hot." _

_I snorted at this comment and banged my hand stupidly on the bar. "Yeah?"_

_"Yeah." Chelsea giggled. _

_I knew she was just trying to make me feel better. I knew she didn't know the whole extent of the situation, but she still was trying to comfort me, make me laugh. And I loved her insanely for it. My spirits were lifting slightly, partly from Chelsea and partly from Mr. Svedka who made deliciously good vodka. _

_And then all of a sudden those spirits, who so egotistically thought that they would rise and make me feel okay, were shot down. Down to the very pit of my stomach. There was Ashley and Carrie the semi-supermodel against the wall of the club, attached to ear other's faces. I saw Carrie the semi-supermodel's hands all over my best friend. My best friend who I was starting to think I was stupidly in love with. My best friend, who I wished so badly would touch me like she was touching that stupid whore-bag. _

_They were not being very sneaky in their actions and movements, because I was across the room at the bar and I could still understand what was going on. And then Carrie the semi-supermodel dragged Ashley to the girl's bathroom and I thought I might throw up all of the vodka and beer that I had dumbly thought would keep me safe. _

"_I have to go." I mumbled a rushed comment to Chelsea as I took off out of my barstool to go outside to breathe some fresh air._

_Or throw up and _then_ breathe some fresh air. _

_I stood outside in the cool L.A. evening and leaned my head against the brick wall. There were people all around. Some trying to get in, some with significant others. Some, like me, by themselves. I tried to throw up, buy I only ended up dry-heaving like an idiot. _

_I felt a presence next to me and honestly didn't expect it to be Ashley. Surely her hand was too far up Carrie the semi-supermodel's skirt to come outside._

"_You okay?" Ashley's words came out softly and tenderly, the exact opposite of what I as feeling. I brought my head to look at her and I could already see the hickey forming on her beautiful neck. _

"_Obviously not!" I party yelled and then coughed. I was in a drunk, emotional state of mania. _

"_Come on Spence, let's get you h-" She started to say as she came closer but I cut her off and pushed her away. _

"_No. I'm fine. Get back to your whore-bag." I spat at her and shot daggers at her with my eyes. _

_Her expression turned from tender to pissed within two seconds. "You're not." _

"_Yes I am. _Ashley_. Don't you have someone to feel up?" I asked sarcastically and crossed my arms over my chest to stop myself from touching her in any kind of way. That would make me lose my resolve and it seemed like I was succeeding in my mission to be a bitch. _

"_Yes, I do." Ashley said meanly to me. "What's your problem, what's it to you?" She said loudly at me. "Why are you being a bitch, I can do whatever I want." _

_We were both drunk and stupid. But that didn't stop me from being even more of a bitch. _

"_Good. I don't give a shit what you do." I turned my back to her and started to walk way. When she didn't come after me, I yelled over my shoulder to her just standing there. "Go find more random girls to fuck!" _

_And that was that. I left and she didn't come after me and I was pissed. But was I really expecting her to come after me after I had been a total jerk to her? The line between who was right and who was wrong was blurred to me, even as the cool air sobered me up. Even though my nastiness was unwarranted, because she had no idea how I felt about her and how it tore me to pieces inside to see her like that with other girls, I was still angry. And I was still upset because we had never fought like that before. _

_The next morning I was hung-over quite nicely and still stupidly angry and upset. As everything came back to me when I trudged down the stairs, I became more infuriated at both the way I had acted and the way Ashley just hooked up with random girls in bathrooms. I was infuriated at the way that upset me and I was infuriated that she didn't come after me. And I was even more infuriated in thinking she would when I was a bitch to her. _

_And there, the girl that I was a bitch to, the girl I unfairly yelled at, was. On my couch. _

_Ashley stood up when she saw me. I was surprised, it was early and Ashley was still in the same clothes. _

_The immediate joy I felt when I first saw her disappeared when I saw her in the same clothes she was in last night and with that hickey fully formed on her neck. I stared into her eyes for a minute before I turned around and went back to my room. Ashley got the hint and followed me closely up the stairs and inside, where she closed the door to bedroom and looked at me. _

_I stood with a good amount of distance between us. No one said anything yet. To say it was awkward would be like to say Hitler was not very nice. An understatement. _

"_Spencer." Ashley said hoarsely. _

"_You're wearing the same clothes." I stated, having nothing else to say. Hearing her say my name like that, that simple action, was tearing my angry walls down already. _

"_Oh. Spencer. It's not." She looked around the room quietly, trying to find the words in the walls. "I didn't sleep."_

_By the way she said this, I knew she didn't mean she didn't sleep because she was busy with Carrie the semi-supermodel. She meant it in a different way. _

"_Why not?" I asked. _

_She shrugged. "You were upset at me. I couldn't." Her eyes were insanely sad as she looked at me. _

"_I shouldn't have yelled at you. I'm sorry." I said to her. Because I was sorry, I had to apologize. But this didn't mean I was any less upset. _

"_It's fine. I deserved it." She said slowly, the frown on her face becoming more prominent. _

"_What? No you didn't Ash, I was being a jerk. I have no say in what you do, I'm sorry." I told her honestly. My heart was tensing at how she thought she deserved it, when she really didn't. _

"_Yes you do." She said immediately after. "You have _everything_ to do with what I do. I can't do something that upsets you. I- I couldn't sleep because you were mad. I can't have you upset because, because of dumb things I do." She said, losing her breath while moving her hands around. _

"_Ashley." I said as I stepped towards her. She took these steps as an excuse to walk to me and hug me tightly. _

"_I'm sorry I didn't come after you." She said in a low voice. _

_I told myself not to cry. To please not sob into her neck. "I'm really sorry I was a bitch and I'm sorry I walked away." I said honestly, my voice cracking. _

_What was I thinking, walking away from her?_

_We hugged for a little longer, both of us not wanting to even address the reason for our fight. And then went to bed. Ashley was exhausted from not sleeping and my heart and my body were tired of everything it had gone through in the past night and morning. _

_I draped myself carefully over her side as she hugged me closer. My head fit right into her neck and for now, I would be okay. _

_I realized how much I had missed having this perfect place for my head the night before. So I nuzzled a little closer and tried to go to sleep._

_I tried to forget everything, while I slept peacefully with her by my side._

_Peacefully, because I knew there was nothing we couldn't fix. _


	9. A Praise Chorus

**Spencer's POV**

"So the game goes like this. When someone says truth, you tell the truth. When someone says dare, you do the dare." Court explains with a mischievous grin on his face.

Court had slowly started to trickle into our group. It was crazy, I think he made Aiden happier than any person we've all ever seen him with. Or that we've met. Aiden and Court weren't together, not by a long shot. But it was obvious that there was something between them. Some kind of electric connection. They would both find innocent-looking ways to touch each other without bringing attention to themselves.

But I noticed. I noticed because that is how I used to be with Ashley. Anything to just touch her, to feel her, to smell her. To be affectionate with her. And I know she was the same way.

The afternoon not to too long ago when she kissed me, my whole world turned upside down. I almost didn't give her the index card back. But when I saw it, it was like I was not able to control what happened. Writing on it and filling in the blanks was like my passive way of confessing my hidden love for her. One I thought was unrequited.

I was wrong.

And I was never so happy in my life to be so totally and completely _wrong_.

I don't think any of our friends, or anyone for that matter, knew about us. It _still_ astounds me that there even is an us. I love that word.

_Us_.

When she kissed me it was obvious that we were going to transform into an us. No other logic, thought, or reasoning worked. But I was still nervous, what was I supposed to do when she got to Aiden's house? Was I supposed to kiss her in front of everyone? Share a Public Service Announcement that we were, basically, together?

For the past few days between our "moment" as Ashley calls it, Kyla had been suspicious of my ridiculously good mood. And Kyla _talks_, she can't keep anything to herself. So it did not surprise me when Kyla, Aiden, and Chelsea were stealing quick glances between each other while we waited for Ashley to arrive.

"We're aware, Court. Thanks." Kyla says evenly to him.

"Be nice, Kyla." Aiden scolds her while he and Court share a smile.

Chelsea turns her attention towards me, but not before stealing a quick look with Kyla. "Where's Ashley?"

"She said she'd be here soon." I state. But my stupid goofy smile at her last text to me betrayed the evenness I was trying to convey in my voice.

**I'll be there soon. I want to kiss you so bad. –Ash**

"Why are we even playing Truth or Dare, anyway? It's such a cliché." Kyla spoke to the group, although she focused on Aiden.

"Uh, because it's fun. And mildly exciting." Court says to her. He smiles at her. He had no fear of battling with her. Playing her games.

Kyla mumbles something that sounds similar to "You just want an excuse to kiss Aiden."

"What was that Ky?" Aiden asks as he pops a oreo into his mouth. He was so oblivious.

"Nothing important." She smirks and raises her eyebrow at me, knowing I heard her loud and clear.

I hear the door to the basement open then slam shut and I turn my head to see Ashley walking down the stairs.

"Hey guys, sorry I'm late." Her smile turns into a full on wide-mouthed, nose-crinkling, dimpled grin when our eyes meet each others. Her eyes are sparkling at mine and I can't help the butterflies that explode like a bomb within my stomach.

"Hey Ashley, we're playing Truth or Dare! Come join." Court says excitedly to her as she walks over.

"You just want an excuse to kiss Aiden." Ashley laughs, taking a seat next to me.

"That's what I said!" Kyla yells loudly. Too loudly for the cramped basement we were in.

Ashley speaks quietly to me when she sits down while Kyla and Aiden are arguing. "Hey cutie."

I try to say hi back but it's proving difficult to speak in her presence. My mind is solely focusing on short shorts and tight t-shirt. I smile at her instead.

I think we're both nervous to be together around our friends. I know it's not because they'll disapprove or anything like that, I'm sure they'd have a field day. I'm sure they'd love it, us. It's just a strange feeling to go from being best friends to a couple, especially for the first time in front of all your close friends.

But we were never really _just_ best friends, were we?

I feel like a couple pairs of eyes are burning into me and part of me just wants to scream "Ashley is mine!" at the top of my lungs and kiss her. But I don't have the nerve.

After a moment of silence, we start the game. As Kyla is licking the carpet as per Aiden's request, I feel Ashley's hand drift to my knee, rubbing it softly. The simple action makes my whole body tingle.

"Should we say something?" Ashley whispers quietly in my ear as the group is laughing at Kyla. Her lips are physically on my earlobe and it is driving me insane.

"I don't know." I say honestly back to her.

"Jesus! Would you two just frickin' kiss already, you are making it so obvious!" Chelsea exclaims from out of nowhere.

"Chelsea!" Kyla hisses at her, obviously angry that her love of talking and gossiping is let out.

I'm about to let out a nervous laugh, but Ashley interrupts that by saying "Alright" quickly, cupping my face, and kissing me sweetly. I kiss her back, never wanting to stop.

When we break apart we are looking each other and sporting the same stupid smiles.

I don't care that everyone is smiling at us.

I hear clapping and turn my head to look at Court as I blush. "I knew you two had to be something. I _totally_ called that." He says with a grin on his face while Chelsea claps with him, nodding.

The group laughs and I am beyond happy that I can touch and kiss Ashley however I want now. Well, maybe not _totally_ however I want.

I knew that Ashley was never really one for public displays of affection with people she had been with before. But with me, she can't seem to not touch me in some way or kiss me in some way. And I am in love with the fact that I am the person she can't help but be like this with. I almost feel dumb for being so insanely smitten, but that thought it pushed out of my mind when Ashley pulls me so I am sitting between her legs, with her arms around my waist. I lean back into her body, sighing at the heavenly contact.

The game is getting pretty intense. Chelsea has told us that she had sex in a dressing room more than once, Aiden was bullied into admitting that he thinks Aladin is hot, and I have already shown everyone my polka-dot bra. This was much to Ashley's enjoyment as her eyes stayed wide on me.

Ashley rests her chin on my shoulder and I turn my head to kiss her cheek, letting my lips stay a little longer than normal. Her skin feels so good against my lips I can't help it. Her fingers are softly rubbing my sides as I think of a dare for Aiden.

"Okay. Aiden. I dare you to kiss Court." I look at him pointedly with a playful smirk on my face.

His expression is confused. His face obviously brightens up but there is a trace of nervousness in his green eyes.

"Fine." He says, eyes still locked with mine. Then he turns to his side and pulls Court's shirt collar towards him connecting their lips. I would have found this much more interesting if Ashley wasn't distracting me by nibbling on my neck. My hands rub her legs and her mouth connects with my jaw, biting lightly.

"Mmmm. I am so loving that I can do that." She purrs into my ear.

"Ash." I breathe out as my eyes flutter, hoping I can control myself from pouncing on her that second.

"Okay, I think we get it boys!" Kyla shouts, interrupting my dirty thoughts. Aiden and Court stop making out and the grins they are wearing are adorable. Court's face is all flushed and red while Aiden is looking cocky as hell.

They are sitting closer to each other now.

"Alright, Ashley." Aiden finally says. "Truth or dare?"

She speaks within a second. "Dare." Ashley Davies never backs down.

"Hmmm. Well, normally I would have dared you to kiss Spencer, but that doesn't seem so crazy now."

I can actually feel Ashley roll her eyes at him as she nuzzles my shoulder.

Aiden continues. "I dare you to not touch Spencer for an hour." He looks smug.

"What." Ashley deadpans.

"An hour. No touching."

"Aiden!" I yell out involuntarily. I didn't mean to, I just really don't like this dare. I _hate _this dare.

I hear Ashley let out a frustrated sigh from behind me. "Fine! I'll try." She says this and untangles herself from me and plops down beside me. "Sorry Spence." She frowns and I already feel cold from the loss of contact.

I glare harshly at Aiden and he just laughs, touching Court lightly on the knee to rub it in.

Chelsea is stuffing as many Oreos into her mouth due to Ashley's dare. I look over at Ashley and her eyes meet mine. She's sitting about a foot away from me. Brown is intently focused on blue, and she moves them to my lips quite frequently. Mine are doing the same, and we're definitely eye-fucking the crap out of each other.

Ashley's eyes leave mine and look ahead. "I fucking hate you Aiden." She says clearly to the group and he snickers like a little girl.

It's only been twenty-five minutes since Aiden's dare and I am already getting extremely impatient. Apparently, Ashley is feeling the same way because when we're taking a break from the game, she says "I quit your stupid dare, Aiden."

Then she scoots over to me and kisses me hard, her hands pulling at the material covering my stomach. I grab her hair and pull her closer to me. She leaves my mouth to breathe and kisses my nose gently.

"Better." She says softly as her arms go around me and pull me close.

"Better." I repeat and kiss the side of her mouth.

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By the end of the night, I am very tired. Chelsea and Kyla have already gone home, and Aiden and Court went upstairs to "get a drink." I'm pretty sure I fell asleep on the couch because I am confused and woken up as I feel a weight on top of me. I find Ashley straddling me when I open my eyes and look up from my lying-down position.

Her hands are rubbing my shoulders. "You wanna go soon?" She asks me sweetly.

"Yeah I'm tired." I smile at her.

I move my head up a little bit to kiss her and she meets me half way. I feel her hands go to my face and into my hair as the kiss becomes much deeper. Ashley bites my bottom lip when my hands drift under her shirt to scrape against her soft back. The pressure of her on top of me is seriously adding to the insane lust I am starting to feel. Ashley presses herself a little bit harder into me and I don't even realize that I let out a tiny moan. My hands can't help themselves and go up and under the front of her t-shirt, which causes Ashley to start to work on the side of my neck.

"Mmmm, Spence you smell so good." She mumbles into my neck while still biting it. I feel her tongue come out to soothe the hickey that I will most likely end up having. When I feel her lick me slowly I can't help that my body arches slightly into hers. Again, her lips capture mine and my eyes are still closed as I feel her just press her lips lightly against mine.

"This is good." I say as I try to catch my breath and I open my eyes. I see Ashley above me with her eyes still closed. She is smiling and nodding.

Ashley opens her eyes and just looks at me. I had no idea these kinds of moments actually exist in real life. I don't think anyone does until they live them.

She pushes some stray hair out of my face. "God, you're so gorgeous Spencer." Ashley says evenly. I fear my heart is going to burst through my ribcage from the way it is pounding so hard. Because Ashley just said I was gorgeous, and not in a way where she is my best friend. In a way that I have always wanted her to. In a way I never thought possible.

I smile up at her. "And you are ridiculously hot."

Ashley chuckles lightly but I can see the blush creeping up from her neck and onto her cheeks.

"Playtime is over children." Aiden's voice flows coming down the stairs. Court follows close behind him.

Much to my dismay, Ashley gets up off me.

"Where's those drinks?" She asks Aiden and Court.

The two boys look at each other quickly and Court answers, "Um, we drank them."

"Psssh. Sure you did." Ashley scoffs as I take her hand in mine and drag her up the stairs.

"Goodnight boys!" I yell as I close the basement door.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I kind of don't want you to go home." Ashley says to me from the driver's seat. My hand is intertwined with hers, playing with her fingers.

"I'll see you tomorrow Ash." I tell her, even though I don't want to go home either. But I know if I tell her that then she will most likely persuade me to just go to her house. And I really do need to go home.

She turns to me at the red light and gives me wide, sad eyes.

"Ashley stop it." I laugh at her.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." She admits with a frown on her face. "Spence?"

I lock my eyes on the side of her face. "Hmmm?" I'm focusing on how nice her fingers feel within mine.

"Um, are you going to. Well, are you gunna tell. Her." Ashley asks wearily with the slightest, smallest trace of fear in her voice. Just a pinch of fear.

Oh. _Her_.

Meaning my mother. I had not thought of that. I was too caught up in having the girl I love, love me back for the past couple of days to even think about telling my mother and my family. The thought alone makes me so incredibly nervous. I am not scared of her keeping me from Ashley, because there is no way one woman could keep me away from her. No army could keep me away. There is no way in hell she could ever do that. It doesn't matter what I would have to do. Jump out the window. Sneak out at obscene hours of the night. Disregard anything and everything my mother tells me to do.

I just got Ashley. I will not even allow the thought of me losing her to come into my head.

"Eventually?" I say to Ashley.

She nods slowly at me as her car parks outside my house. "Eventually. Eventually sounds good."

I unbuckle my seatbelt and lean over to kiss her, Ashley, the other part of the _us, _goodnight.

We both smile into the kiss.

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**Yay cuteness =)**


	10. Sweet Tangerine

**Thanks for the reviews, keep 'em coming! I'm doing the fluff thing for now cause, well face it, it's adorable and I can't help writing it =P Hope you enjoy! **

**Ashley's POV**

What is it with people and these labels? I just don't get it. All these people. All these labels. Maybe some people don't fall under a certain label. Maybe some people have more than one label. Maybe some people have no label. Why can't we all be labeled under _love_.

Alright, that was incredibly cheesy and romantic, but why not?

My eyes search the parking lot of the high school quickly, picking up images of a girl smoking a cigarette, a guy and a girl making out heavily against a car, a girl with bright blue hair sitting on her trunk, and lastly a tall boy with dark hair leaning against his car door, eyes closed. This image interests me the most.

I walk up to the boy and try to be sneaky.

"What's up Ashley." Aiden says in a rough voice. One that indicates that he didn't get much sleep last night.

"What's going on Aiden." I try to keep my voice not so curious.

Aiden sighs heavily and finally opens his eyes and turns his head to him. His face is all rough, like he didn't shave. It's eight o'clock in the morning and is five o'clock shadow is already making its appearance.

"Nothing. I just-" He says slowly. Not wanting to prod him too much, I stay quiet.

Well, for a second at least. "You look like crap."

Aiden chuckles a bit and says "Yeah, thanks a lot."

"Bad night?" I ask, leaning next to him, my eyes continuously searching the parking lot still for some pretty blonde hair.

"Not the best." He turns fully around to me now, a frown on his face. "I don't know what I'm doing with Court."

There it is. His dilemma. Out in the open. It's real, it's not some cutesy game that he's playing, that anyone's playing. I know Court must be bugging his mind because Aiden wouldn't stress about things that aren't very important to him.

"Do you like him?" I ask simply.

"Yeah, I do. I like him, but I don't know if I like him enough to go around flaunting him as my boyfriend."

I sigh lightly. "It's simple. If you like him."

His eyes narrow at mine. "It's not simple Ash. Was it just simple when you liked Spencer for so long? If it was simple, you would have just gone for it." Aiden says with a slight tinge of jealousy in his voice.

"That's different. Way different. Much more complicated." I try to explain.

And it really is different. Spencer is my best friend. When I realized that I was falling for her, wanting to hold her more than in a friendly way, aching for her eyes at all times, I couldn't just go tell her. We were friends. At first I was scared of the consequences. It took me an incredibly long time, after experiencing agonizing moments of obviousness of our love for each other, one that neither of us ever had the courage to just talk about. It took me a long time to take a risk. A risk so heavy that I would have either lost everything or gained everything.

I gained. Oh, I gained like a fat man on Thanksgiving.

"Love is love. There's no difference there." Aiden says, breaking my string of thinking.

I'm baffled. "Love?"

Aiden coughs a little bit while laughing slightly. "You know what I _mean_. And you would think in all of this he's the one wondering 'what we are.' But he's not. He's great, he's- just letting us be…us. And I'm the one freaking out about 'what we are' and trying to dissect everything." Aiden groans and I rest my hand on his shoulder trying to comfort him. "God, I understand now how all those girls must have felt with me."

I frown slightly, Aiden _was_ a bit of a whore.

I don't know what to say to him, I don't have any good advice. "I don't know Aid, it'll work itself out." I say, that being the best I can come up with.

"Yeah, hopefully." He answers dejectedly.

I turn my head to the other side and see Spencer walking towards me and Aiden. A smile appears on her face as our eyes meet and I scan her body with my eyes. She's all cute in a little denim jacket and tank top. Blonde hair shines bright in the gleam of the orange orb that is the sun and my hearts works overtime while I swear, butterflies start to fly out of my body.

"Hey." She says to me and then to Aiden.

"Hey Spencer." Aiden says. "So, are you guys gunna like, be out?" He asks afterwards. It's a legitimate question. I had thought about it myself but never talked about it with Spencer. The few other days we were in school together we weren't any different than normal. But for some reason, today felt different. Almost as if our conversation in my car about Paula solidified us.

"I don't know." Spencer answers slowly her eyes meeting mine, which are still glazed over from the first look I had gotten of her as she walked over.

Aiden nods and says that he'll see us at lunch. Spencer leans next to me on his car, looking at the side of my face.

"What are you thinking Ash?' She says to me after a moment.

I turn to her, wanting badly to kiss her right now, push her up against the car. "I wanna kiss you." I spit out quickly. I see an adorable blush come onto her already rosy cheeks. My hand drifts to her waist, playing with the hem of her shirt.

"Spencer, I wanna kiss you against the lockers, in the bathroom, at the picnic table, in lab while doing an experiment, in gym, while you're debating (she snorts), while I'm taking a test, in the middle of the hallway, in-" My rambling is cut off by her soft hand.

"I get it." She smiles at me, her hand moving from my mouth to the side of my face. "Can we just, take the public displays of affection a little slow?" She asks quietly.

I nod, understanding. I know she wants to tell her family before we're all over each other at school. "What about _private_ displays of affection?" I say with a sly grin on my face.

Spencer's hand slides from my cheek to the back of my neck, bringing my head to come right in front her hers. She touches my lips with hers so softly I'm not even sure it happened.  
"No speed limit."

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After sixth period I'm walking to my locker thanking the sky that there are only two more classes to go before the end of the day. Then I can go home with Spencer. Be with Spencer all by myself. Just the two of us, those are the times I love the most. Those were the times I had always loved the most.

"Hey!" I hear a guys voice come from behind me. I spin around on my heel to see a green-eyed, blonde haired boy jogging towards me.

"Hey Court, how's it going?"

"Alright alright, what's up? How's your girl?" He says with a grin on his face as he falls into step with me.

I can't help but smile at his words. Hell, I've had a smile on my face for the whole day. The whole last couple of days.

_My girl._

"She's good, she's…amazing." I tell him honestly.

"Good. Geez Ashley you look like a love-stricken kitten." Court laughs while smoothing his hair.

"What is with that word today?" I mumble to myself.

"Huh? Kitten?"

I chuckle at him. "Love."

"Ahhh." He breathes a sigh of knowing. "Love comeforth like sunshine after rain." I give him a quizzical look. Court shrugs. "Billy Shakespeare."

"Right." I pause. "How's Aiden?" I ask tentatively.

Even though I know from talking to Aiden that the two of them are going through something weird, I can still visibly see Court brighten at the mention of Aiden.

"Good, I think. I know he's confused and trust me, I get it. Been there done that. I'm trying to give him room, you know?" Court says all at once, the words coming breezily out of his mouth like a steady stream of smoke.

"Totally. He really likes you, Court." I tell him as we finally reach our destination; my locker.

Court turns to me and I twist the lock. "Thank you for saying that."

"It's the truth." I tell him as I open my locker and a little index card falls to the ground. I pick it up and immediately smile when I see the bubbly handwriting.

_**Ashley Davies you better meet me in the bathroom during sixth period. I can't wait until the end of the day. I am weak and I need to touch you. **_

Court is saying something but I wouldn't be able to say what it is. I am too focused on Spencer's writing. On the fact that she actually wrote these words. To me.

I wait twenty-five minutes exactly in class before asking to go to the bathroom. I grab the bathroom pass and haul ass down the hallway. When I get in I see a flash of blonde and am roughly pulled inside a stall and pressed against its door.

Blue eyes are darkly looking at me and Spencer's mouth is so close to mine I can basically taste her. I lean my head forward slightly but she pulls back and smiles slyly. So _fucking_ sexy.

I let out a distraught moan. "Speeeeeence."

"I said I wanted to touch you, not kiss you." She whispers down my neck, lips slightly touching softly.

I growl from my throat at her and kiss her forcefully. She tastes like something citrus-y and it is so damn delicious.

"How cliché are we, making out in a bathroom stall." She says between kisses as her hands grip my hair, pushing herself into me against the door. My response to her comment is a moan as her tongue slips inside my mouth.

This whole scene is so totally hot: the note, the bathroom, against a stall, Spencer's lips on my throat. I can feel myself getting turned on more and more each second. So much so that my hands travel to her ass, grabbing it slightly. I stop myself after another long kiss, not wanting to get ahead of ourselves. I don't want to be with Spencer for the first time in a dirty, high school bathroom stall.

Even though that sounds so amazing right about now.

I am surprised at myself for a second, because the old Ashley wouldn't give a shit about where she was. Also, the old Ashley wouldn't give a shit about _who _she was with. But this Ashley, the Ashley that has her hands pulling Spencer into her by her hips, does give a shit.

I wrap my arms around her waist and nuzzle the side of her neck. Softly rubbing the skin with my nose. I feel Spencer shiver in my embrace and I smile quietly to myself.

"Spencer, I-"

But I am cut off by yelling.

"ASHLEY?" A loud, high voice, one I pin as Kyla's, yells into the bathroom. "Mrs. Wilson asked me to see if you were okay, what the hell are you d-"

Kyla now has the door open and me and Spencer are still clinging tightly to each other.

"Right. Okay, well that's cute and all, but her vein is gunna pop if you don't come back. Now." Kyla says to me. Damn you Kyla, damn you.

"Fine. I'm coming." I say to her.

"I'll see you after school?" Spencer asks me as she takes herself away from me. I sigh when I don't feel her arms around me anymore and nod. She gives me a quick kiss on the cheek and she's gone, saying bye to Kyla as she walks out.

I physically feel my smile fade away when she leaves, wanting her to just come back. Just for one more minute. Kyla is smirking stupidly at me.

"What?" I spit, getting the bathroom pass and exiting with her.

"You _love_ her. You _really_ love her." She snorts so loudly that it echoes down the hallway.

I give her a glare. "Shut up Kyla."

"You can act tough Ash. But we both know it's true." She tells me coolly.

I just smile, knowing it's no use to deny the truth. "She loves me too, right?" I ask rather nervously.

I know Spencer loves me. Before we ever got together we would always tell each other we loved the other. Whether we meant as friends or were secretly pouring our hearts out without the other knowing. Even when the other person was doing the same exact thing. But having her love now, is _different_. It's different love than best friends. I know she loves me, I know she does. Still, there is that nervousness.

"Well, _duh._" Kyla says with emphasis.

"So how's your boy toy?" I ask her as we take our seat back in class.

Her and Glen have been, how can I say this without being crude, fuck buddies. Well, honestly there is no other way to describe it. They are always going off somewhere to do _something_, whispering to each other, standing ridiculously close. The thing is, I think Glen actually really likes Kyla, and Kyla is pretty much using him for ass. Sure, she likes him, thinks he's cute, _ew_, but she's not serious. Kyla is never serious about anyone. She is always more into her friends and being with them.

Kyla and I have never gotten along that great, the bickering, the glaring, the edgy comments. But the fact that she's always more into helping her friends is the thing I love abut her.

Not that I would _ever_ admit that to anyone.

Kyla looks bored writing her notes. I can see all the little doodles around the edges of her paper. "He's fine. You know, the same." She says easily while filling in a 3-D box.

"You like him?" I say quietly while our teacher's back is turned.

"He's fine." She repeats. Suddenly her head turns to me quickly and if it had been any quicker I swear it would have snapped off her neck. "It's just-" Her eyes are focused intently on me, showing that whatever she is going to say next is serious. "It's just, he's nice yeah, and he's fun. But we don't have that, that _passion._"

"Passion?"

"Yeah." She continues. "There's no fire there, no need for the other. I see you and Spence together, which by the way fucking finally that took you two long enough, Jesus. A blind albino would tell you two wanted to screw each other and-"

I cut her off harshly. "Kyla."

"Right." She says shaking her head for a second. "Right, but I see you two and you can't keep your hands off each other, which by the way is cute but sometimes I don't need to see Spencer put-"

Again, I cut her off. "_Kyla._" This girl has some serious ADD.

"Right. But you know what I mean Ash. I've never had that with someone and Glen is a good time, yeah, but he doesn't do that for me." She finally finishes, actually looking a little depressed and I can tell by the despair in her voice that she's serious.

"You'll find it." I tell her, confident.

"Well I fuckin' hope so." She says roughly before turning back to drawing shapes in her pink-ink pen.

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Spencer's arms are around my neck in the parking lot after school, and I have been waiting for this hug since the bathroom almost two hours ago.

"We're gunna go get something to eat, you two coming?" Chelsea directs the question to me and Spencer.

I begin to say yes, but Spencer cuts me off.

"Actually, we're gunna go to Ashley's, Chels." She says evenly as her hand rubs my stomach softly. "Right Ash?" Spencer looks at me but I can't say anything as that hand is preventing me. She's grinning slightly. No words come out. I nod.

"Is that cool?" Spencer says back to Chelsea.

She chuckles and her eyes twinkle a bit at us. "Of course."

_Fuck yeah_ it's cool.


	11. Eastern Homes And Western Hearts

**Okey dokey, this flashback is a bit short, but I just wanted to throw one in while I worked on the current story line. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it, and thank you to all who are reading and reviewing =D I really wish I could give all of you a big hug haha **

**Spencer's POV**

**I Love**

_**the way you hug me like you never want to let go**_

_I had been away a week and a half. A week and a half. That is it. I should have been happy. I was back in Ohio visiting family. Visiting friends I hadn't seen in ages. And part of me was happy, I guess. To reconnect with all the people that had been such a big part of my early life before I ever moved to California. Before my life drastically changed. _

_I would love to say that I was visiting all the people that had made me, me. Spencer. But that wasn't quite true. I never really knew myself in Ohio. I just went along with what was most common, what was expected to me. But when I came to L.A, that's where I really found myself. I am in no way saying that I have myself figured out, I surely do not._

_But does anyone? _

_For some reason, I would constantly compare all of my old friends with my one, new, extraordinary one. With Ashley. She seemed better than all of these old ones put together. I would think:_

_ "Ashley has a better smile." _

"_Ashley's hands are softer."_

"_Ashley would have laughed at my lame joke just now." _

_This was before I realized I loved her. Before every time she touched me I felt a burning sensation spread through my whole body. Before I thought about what it would be like to have her kiss me. Or to push her up against and wall and feel her skin against mine. Before all of that. _

_And I missed her like crazy. I never realized how attached to her I was before I left for those eleven days. When I was in Ohio, we talked every night and constantly through texts everyday. I don't know when she called me or when I called her, but our voices always seemed to end the day with each other. I'd tell her about all my old friends and what we'd do that day. She didn't seem too thrilled about it. She'd tell me what she did with Aiden, Kyla, and Chelsea. I had wished I were there with them. _

_"So, you'll never believe this, Spencer." My good friend Ally was telling me one day as we were catching up, having lunch at the local diner. "Sharon is gay!" She basically shrieked this in my ear. Not an excited shriek, but a "Can you even believe that?" shriek. _

_"Oh wow." I said._

_"How weird, right? A lot of us are uncomfortable in the locker room with her now, like, come on." Ally said with disgust in her voice. My head snapped to attention. _

_"What's a matter with that?" I asked, trying not to sound too interested, or involved, or…..gay. _

_Ally looked at me wide with surprise. Like I had just spoken Latin. She didn't understand. "You know I don't judge Spencer, but I don't want her looking at me like that. It's kind of strange." She said, basically contradicting herself. Trying to look like the victim when really she was the accuser. _

_"Right." I said plainly._

_After that lunch, I didn't speak to Ally a lot at all. It was kind of a mutual thing. I didn't mind much. I couldn't believe how different the two places that I had spent my life were. Ohio and L.A. _

_I had found out from one of the very first conversations I had ever had with Ashley Davies that she liked girls. "I'm not into labels.' She had told me once. But I could tell from the tone of her voice and the way she sometimes watched other girls walk away that she teetered towards the girls' side. That was one of the things that had initially drawn me to her. Her confidence. How she was so accepting of who she was and how she didn't care what other people though. I admire her for that. I always would. _

_Come to think of it, I don't care much for labels either. _

_"Are you home yet?" Ashley answered my call immediately with this, drawing out every syllable._

_I chuckled into my cell phone. "Unfortunately no. two days Ash, two days."_

_She sighed. "Right, two days." She sang. "And what do you mean unfortunately, don't you like seeing all your old friends and all that fun Ohio stuff?" Ashley asked me sincerely. _

_I thought for a second. I wanted to word my response truthfully. "I like you better." I said simply. _

_I knew she was smiling. I could tell by her breathing and her silence. _

_"Well you should." She said, breaking the tender, comfortable silence that had come after I made my little confession. _

_"Aren't we self-absorbed." I stated. _

_"Oh, we are Spencer, we are." Ashley laughed her deep laugh and my insides went all mushy. _

_"So you miss me?" I said with a slight chuckle. "I bet you dooooo."_

_"Eh, maybe. It's nice not having your annoying voice talking all the time." Ashley said seriously._

_I mocked surprise. "Ashley!"_

_She laughed again. "Of course I miss you Spence." She said completely seriously and quite simply. "A lot." She added quietly. _

_And then I bet she could hear and know that I was smiling. _

_It was two days later and I could not wait to get home. I could not wait to get out of this stupid cab with this stupid driver who had no idea what was going on. I could not wait to shower off the plane air and curl up in bed. I could not wait to get away from my stupid Ohio friends for good._

_I could not wait to see Ashley._

_I knew that when I would tell her that I had had a sucky time she would try to console me but she secretly would be ecstatic. Adding to her already inflamed ego that she was better than any "dusty Ohioans." In her own words._

_And she would be right. _

_The cab pulled up to my wonderful, sunny L.A. house and I threw my money at the driver, wanting to get out as quick as possible. I was so hasty in my departure that I didn't even see Ashley on my front lawn until my bags were dropped and her arms were engulfing me in an airtight hug. She was hugging me so hard that I could barely breathe, and I believe I was doing the same thing._

_She was holding on to me like she never wanted to let go. And that, I'm sure, is the moment I realized that I loved her way more than I should. The moment that the thought _"I wanna kiss you_" popped into my head, I was surprised for a second until I looked into her sparkling chocolate eyes. Then I thought, _"oh my God, I wanna kiss you."_ She again hugged me tighter to her own body and pressed her head in my neck, face right by my ear. _

_"You are not allowed to leave me again Spencer." She said softly, brushing her lips against my ear. I laughed, but I knew that I really wouldn't ever be able to leave again. "Seriously." She said a little rougher this time. Telling me she was as serious as a heart attack. I nodded into her._

_-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_I never knew what torture was until that very night. _

_We were all at Chelsea's house, welcoming me home. I was surprised when I walked into her basement, thinking I was just going to say hello and leave. But Aiden, Kyla, Glen, Chelsea, and Ashley were all there. It felt good to have friends welcome you home. I felt loved and wonderful and it almost made me forget about my old unsettling friendships back in Ohio. There was no reason to ever go back._

_Everything I needed was here. _

_"So Spence, you see any old boyfriends?" Chelsea asked me as we sat down to watch a movie. _

_I laughed, remembering running into Charlie at CVS. "Yeah actually, Charlie, I saw him at CVS."_

_"How'd he look, good?" Kyla asked me while raising her eyebrow. For some reason I felt propelled to look at Ashley sitting next to me. She was picking at her fingernails. _

_"Uh no," I said, tearing my eyes away from her neck, "he had a mustache. Not good." I chuckled. _

_"Ew a mustache? What, was he gunna be in a western?" Aiden laughed, turning the lights off and popping in the DVD. _

_"And why are you so quiet?" I whispered to Ashley next to me. "Didn't you miss me?" The last part came out cracked, nervous. _

_She looked at me and gave me a lazy smile, her eyes tracing my face over. "Of course. Come here." And she grabbed me closer to her. I snuggled up to her side, with her rubbing my back, and felt something I had never felt before with her. _

_With anyone._

_All of a sudden I felt hot, until her hand touched my bare skin and then a chill went through me. _

_"You're not gunna go back there any time soon, are you?" She whispered to my ear. There was nervousness in her voice, an unsteadiness I was not familiar with. Ashley Davies was never panicky, she was always joking, always the opposite of serious. _

_I looked up at her from my position in her lap. Before I could stop myself my hand moved to touch her face softly and place a gorgeous brown curl behind her ear. I almost gasped when I realized what I'd done. This contact was so much more intimate than I had expected or was used to. _

_I hadn't understood, then._

_"Nope." I said to her and smiled as she hugged me closer. _

_How could I ever leave again if this was where my heart was?_


	12. The Righteous And The Wicked

**Hope you enjoy reading my friends!**

**Spencer's POV**

I am in Ashley's room, sitting on her bed, watching her as she squints into a textbook. She has her glasses on, which can be the new definition of sexy. I had always thought she looked amazing in them, even though she hated wearing them.

"_I look like a nerd." She had said the day she got them, months ago. _

"_Excuse me." I said, pointing to myself._

_Ashley furrowed her brow in the mirror at me. "No, you know what I mean Spence, like, a serious Erkel nerd, not like a Spencer nerd."_

_I laughed lightly. "And there's a difference." _

"_Um, yeah." She snorted out. _

_She kept on looking in the mirror. I walked over to her and stood behind her, taking her arm so she turned around to face me. I adjusted them on her nose._

"_I think they- they make you look cute." I'm pretty sure I had blushed slightly. I had wanted to say sexy, but that would have been weird then. _

_Ashley smiled big at me_

After that, Ashley wore her glasses probably more than she needed to.

"Spence, I really don't have the patience for this." Ashley says, bringing me out of my sweet memory.

It was so different back then, I can't stop thinking about how in the world I had stopped myself all those times from kissing her. Touching her. B_eing_ with each other.

I sigh deeply. "Just, look over the examples, Ash."

She is doing math homework. Homework that I told her she needed to, had to get done before we started to mess around. This plan hadn't worked out well due to me jumping her the second we got into her room. I couldn't help it, her eyes had been tempting me the whole time from when she picked me up from my house to when I got to hers.

Ashley gets up from her desk and walks over to the bed, textbook in hand. "It's Saturday afternoon, why am I doing homework?"

I smile lightly at her, not concealing the way my eyes go directly to her lips the second she started to talk. "Um, because you'll never do it otherwise." I tell her. My heart is getting all fluttery just from the way she is looking at me, eyes locked on my own lips. Like she's about to pounce any second.

"Tomorrow." She states evenly as she starts to crawl towards me on the bed. In her crawling, she elegantly throws the textbook off the bed. But it collides with a lamp and crashes hard to the ground.

We both look at the textbook and the broken lamp on her carpet.

"Shit, that was supposed to be my sexy-advance move." Ashley mutters under her breath as she turns her head to look at me.

I start to chuckle. "You don't need a sexy-advance move. I think you're sexy enough." The words come out of my mouth in a low tone, which can't be helped because of my current state of arousal. At her glasses. At her lips. At her wild curly hair. Of how I can smell her vanilla scent from where I'm sitting. At just _her_.

I think Ashley growls, kind of like a pit-bull, and before I can stop her she's pinning my hands above my head and is positioned floating above me.

"You think this is going to get you out of homework?" I ask hoarsely as her hands are massaging mine.

Ashley contemplates this for a second. "Yes." She says slowly before lowering her head to kiss me deeply.

Just as the kiss is getting much deeper and fuller, the door to Ashley's bedroom bursts open.

"So, we're going to go to Slant tonight and I'm deciding on whether on not I should tell Glen." Kyla is saying, she says nothing about our compromising position, ignoring the fact altogether that my shirt is half way off. She keeps talking. Kyla has taken to the habit of just passing over the fact that Ashley and I are in the middle of something every time she walks in.

"Because," She keeps going as Ashley gets up off me, sighing, and I fix my shirt and, to my surprise, my bra. I look at Ashley quickly, my eyes saying _"You sneaky sneaky girl." _I don't remember her unclasping it. Ashley just smirks at me as Kyla keeps talking. "And if I want to hook up with other guys I'll never be able to get away with that with him there. I mean, he'll be all over me. He's- _suffocating_ me."

"Way to be fucking dramatic Kyla." Ashley snorts at her as she plays with my fingers in her hand. "The kid likes you. Stop screwing with his mind."

Kyla gives Ashley a dirty look. "Oh, _you're _one to talk." After she says this Kyla looks like she desperately wants to take it back.

Ashley's past is no mystery to me, I know how she used to be, with random girls and whatever. And although I know surely in my heart they meant nothing and that her and I are so very different, it's still not equal to Disney World cheeriness to hear about it.

"Anyway," Kyla blows past the moment quickly, "what do you think."

"Just bring him. He knows you're not going out." I tell her. I am going to say something else but the words escape me as I catch Ashley looking at my neck, like she wants to bite it.

Kyla looks unhappy. "You're his sister. You don't count. Ashley?" Kyla says her name like she needs back-up.

"I don't care." Ashley says slowly, eyes still locked on the side of my exposed neck. I get a chill that runs up my spine like a gust of winter wind.

"Whatever." Kyla waves off Ashley's unconcerned tone, not letting it bother her even more than she is. "I'll see you later."

"Bye Ky." I say as she walks out the door and shuts it.

Ashley is still staring at my neck intently. "Ash?" No response. "_Ash?_" Her eyes twinkle at me before she takes the skin of my neck in her mouth.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What's that?" My mother points to my neck and asks.

_Crap. Craaaaaap._

"Oh." I start slowly, figuring out the best possible excuse for the red mark from Ashley's mouth on the side of my neck. Why hadn't I thought to let my hair down to cover it?

Too late.

I look my mother in the eye. Hers are icy blue and scaring me a bit. "I was straightening my hair and hit my neck." I shrug like this is so obvious that she didn't even need to ask.

My mother looks at my hair, seeing that it is, in fact, straight. "Alright." She says and walks away as I run up to my room to get ready for Slant. Once I am satisfied with my jean skirt and t-shirt, I run out of my house before I am accosted by my obnoxious, nosy mother again.

Avoiding telling her about Ashley has been difficult. I want to tell her, to get it over with. I am constantly hiding hickey's and telling her that me _and Chelsea_ are going to hang at Ashley's. And then there's the part of me that just wants to talk about her. I want to tell her how amazing Ashley is, how good she is, and how happy I am. But those are impossible wishes. I want to tell my dad. I know he likes Ashley a lot and I want him to know that I love him for liking her more than my mother ever could.

I sigh as I pace up and down the sidewalk in front of my house, hoping Ashley gets here soon to pick me up.

"Hey there cutie, lookin' for a ride?" I hear a husky voice say to me as a car follows my pacing.

I lean on the passenger side door and look at Ashley. "Who's asking?" I smirk at her and climb into the car.

Ashley visibly gulps and says "Nice skirt." Her tone is so low I almost didn't hear her. Her roaming eyes over my body make me lean over and kiss her soft mouth. She pushes herself into me, her hands at the bottom of my jean skirt.

"Hi." She breathes onto my lips as she pulls away.

I smile widely at her. "Hi."

"How's Mommy Dearest?" Ashley asks as we drive to pick up Chelsea.

"Oh fantastic. This," I point to the mark left by her on my neck, "is from a straightener." I put straightener in air quotes.

Ashley chuckles deeply and glances at me. "Sorry about that."

"I'm not."

She gives me a sly grin and brings her hand to my knee. Her slender fingers rub circles, boxes, pentagons, lines, and all other shapes on my skin.

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"You know, it doesn't even feel like being third wheel with you two, you're kind of just the same. Besides from the _stuff_, I guess." Chelsea says to me and Ashley as we walk towards the door to Slant. "Plus you touch each other all the frickin' time."

I laugh and Ashley rubs my hand with her thumb.

"Yeah, the _stuff_ is a nice bonus." Ashley snickers. I slap her arm playfully.

When we get in, the three of us immediately head over to the bar where Aiden, Kyla, Court, and Glen are. They all look kind of nervous standing there, sipping their drinks. Aiden is looking anywhere but at Court, scanning the crowd. Kyla is bobbing her head to the music, talking to Court. Court is intently listening, rolling his eyes now and then, glancing at Aiden every few seconds. Glen is staring at Kyla, looking like he's trying to decide when he's going to ask her to dance. They look like a very dysfunctional group.

"Hey!" Aiden says loudly over the music as he sees the three of us approaching. The rest of our friends greet us and I feel like they were all happy we came and interrupted that weird little moment of awkwardness I was sensing.

"What the hell took you three so long?" Kyla asks us as she glares at Ashley and I.

"_I_ wasn't ready. Sorry for the hold up Kyla." Chelsea tells her with fierce eyes.

"Yeah, sorry _princess_." Ashley says roughly with a smirk on her face. She kisses me lightly to prove her point.

"Let's go dance, Glen." Kyla says ignoring Ashley's jest. She grabs his hand and he follows like a little puppy. At that moment Court looks at Aiden.

"Um, I'm gunna go to the bathroom. I'll be back." And with that Aiden leaves as well.

"What's with him?" I ask Court as I watch Ashley's ass as she goes over to the bar to get some drinks. _Damn_ she looks good.

Court shrugs, looking kind of defeated. "I don't know. He's been weird. I just-I don't know."

I nod at him, not wanting to push him or probe. If he wanted to talk about Aiden or something, that was up to him.

"Come on." I say with a smile in his direction and grab his hand. "Let's dance." I tug on it affectionately. Court smiles back at me and leads us into the crowd.

I'm hoping Court is enjoying himself instead of getting hung up on Aiden. We have fun dancing for a while and then suddenly I see his face fall for a second and his dancing momentarily lapses. Then he just goes back to normal.

I look behind me and see Aiden dancing with some girl he must have just met. They're not ballroom dancing, either. And all of a sudden they're making out and I turn away.

"Court-" I start to say but he interrupts me.

"It's cool Spencer. I'm just gunna go- get some air. Go find your girl." He winks at me before leaving me in the crowd.

I contemplate following him for a minute before I feel hot breath on my ear from behind.

"Thanks for leaving me alone, _girlfriend_." Says Ashley's husky voice.

She spins me around so I am now facing her. "I'm sorry, you're a big girl, you can take care of yourself." I smirk at her. "And don't use your Kyla tone with me." I add as her hands grasp my waist.

She raises an eyebrow at me and grins. "You're right, I _am _a big girl." She mumbles and goes to kiss my neck. I push myself into her body as we start to dance.

I grab her hair to make her kiss me for real. "How are you drunk already?" I laugh out as I taste the liquor on her.

"I'm not! Swear. Maybe a little tipsy." She answers as she slips a leg between mine and I moan at the pressure.

"Where'd Court go?" She asks me, all husky and sexy and delicious.

I place my hands on the back of her neck and pull her into me, her nose touching mine. "Who gives a shit." And I think she growls. I have found that it majorly turns Ashley on when I curse. Or when I wear a skirt. Or when I _don't _wear a skirt.

We're getting more drinks and that's when I see her. It looks like she's even skinnier now, if that is at all possible. Carrie the semi-supermodel.

I am so angered just by the sight of her I feel like I might go into a rage when I see her start to walk over to me and Ashley. Ashley's back is to her so she doesn't see the whore-bag approaching.

"Spence?" Ashley says, probably seeing the weird look on my face. Or how I clutched my beer bottle tightly all of a sudden. Ready to throw at any moment.

Ashley turns slightly when she feels a hand on her shoulder.

"Oh fuck." I hear her murmur so low and light that I hardly believed I heard it.

"Hey babe." Carrie the semi-supermodel says with a stupid-looking grin on her face.

"Carrie. Hey. What's up." Ashley says lightly. Obviously not sure of what to do because of all the awkwardness.

I make up her mind for her when I pull her hand to me so she's leaning against the stool I'm sitting on. Carrie the semi-supermodel is oblivious. Probably because from all that coke she most-likely snorted in the bathroom.

But I'm just speculating.

"Not much. Haven't seen you in a while." She says to Ashley, ignoring me completely.

"Yeah. You remember Spencer, right?" Ashley says to her and motions to me behind her. She rubs my knee affectionately and Carrie the semi-supermodel does see _that_.

"Right." She says dejectedly, looking from me to Ashley.

This seems to give Ashley confidence and pull her out of whatever weird daze she was in. "Yeah, my girlfriend." And when she says this I can hear the smile on her lips even though I can't see her face. I smirk as condescendingly as I can towards the whore-bag.

"Cute." Carrie the semi-supermodel spits out and turns away.

I can't help but let out a chuckle when Ashley turns around and faces me. "Sorry about that, I know you don-" Ashley is starting to say but I cut her off with my hand.

"It's fine Ash, really." I smile at her to prove my point. I pull her by her shirt closer to me as her hands automatically go to my waist, rubbing my skin and then move to brushing against the bottom of my skirt.

"Mmmmhmmm." Comes out of her mouth as her hands are moving on me. Her eyes are locked on mine and the golden specks in her eyes are sparkling brightly. I almost can't breathe by the way she's looking at me.

I'm just about to kiss her when Glen comes running up to us. "Guys!"

Ashley sighs and pulls her hands away from me, unfortunately. I guess she doesn't want my brother to see his little sister with her girlfriend's hands basically up her skirt.

Not _all_ the way up, geez. I'm not a whore-bag.

"What's up Glen?" I ask as I sip my drink.

"Kyla's hooking up with some guy." Ashley says evenly.

"How do you know?" Both me and my brother ask at the same time. She points to the side and there, indeed, is Kyla attached to someone other than Glen.

Glen sighs as I speak. "Sorry Glen. But you know, you're not really going out."

"So?" He says. "I like her, and she basically just calls me over when she wants ass. It's not fair. Sometimes she's all over me and other times, like now, she is _obviously _not." I see him tense. "It's not fair." He repeats.

"She's a bitch Glen, you can do better." Ashley says as she finishes her drink. I give her a pointed look. "Okay, okay, _sorry_."

"Hey." Aiden says as he approaches us.

"Why were you making out with that random girl?" I spit out at him, remembering that I still don't know where Court is.

"Um what?" He says nervously as we all look at him.

"What the fuck Kyla!" Glen says loudly as Kyla joins the group.

Kyla goes pale for a second then gains her composure. "We're not _together_ Glen. I can do what I want." She says evenly and gets another beer.

"Exactly." Aiden says.

"That's bullshit, Court really likes you!" Ashley whisper-yells at Aiden. He turns red and he looks angry.

"I can do whatever the fuck I want." He snorts out.

"Yeah, you do that Aiden." Court's voice chimes in from behind Aiden. Aiden's face drains of all its color when he hears him.

"What's going on guys?" Chelsea asks as she comes over. She looks at all of us; Aiden pale as a ghost, Court looking like he might cry, Glen angry and red with his fists curled, Kyla sipping her drink like she doesn't care, and mine and Ashley's eyes glancing around.

"Um, alright then." Chelsea says, taking us all in. Probably assessing the the damage.

I feel Ashley's hand find mine in secrecy and she laces our fingers together.

And I am so glad for her comfort in this mess.

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**Tell me what you think =)  
Peace and Love **


	13. I Will Possess Your Heart

**I really hope you guys like this chapter as much as I do =)  
Enjoy Enjoy Enjoy, and Enjoy some more**

***I do not own South of Nowhere. But I do own my words, which is nice.* **

**Ashley's POV**

We're causing some serious commotion in the club. As everyone is yelling at everyone else, one of the bouncers comes over and asks us all to step outside and says to "handle your shit." I'm kinda bummed because I wanted to keep dancing with Spencer. Jesus _Christ_ she is so sexy. I'm trying to help my friends but all I'm focusing on is her.

She's all mad at Aiden and her angry tone and rash arm movements are turning me _on_. On like a light. A very flustered, hot and bothered light.

The seven of us, Kyla, Glen, Aiden Court, Chelsea, Spencer, and I, step outside into the slightly chilly L.A. night and I'm wishing I brought some kind of sweater or jacket. My thin top is letting the breeze go right through me.

"What the _fuck_ Glen, you have no right to yell at me! We. Are. Not. Together." Kyla says rather loudly. And her voice is rough, not high-pitched like normal. Her voice gets louder after every word.

"Jesus Kyla, don't be such a bitch to him." Aiden glares at her.

She snaps her neck around at him and looks like she might strangle him. Her eyes are opened wide and angry. "Look who's talking! Hypocrite."

"What do you want Kyla," Glen is saying as I lean against the brick wall listening to all this bullshit, "You wanna be with me or not? I am not being your fucking booty call anymore."

Aiden turns away from Kyla to look at Court, who has been quiet since we got outside. "Court look, we never said we were together, alright? It's no big-"

He is cut off by Court, whose face is furious but his words come out impossibly even and smooth. It's kind of scary and intimidating. "What, no big deal? Don't treat my like a child Aiden. I know we're not together. If we're not, then don't keep leaving me notes in my locker to meet you somewhere, sending me text messages, calling me. I am _not_ going to be your little experimental boyfriend."

I am stunned. I had no idea Aiden was leaving him notes and all those things. Apparently, no one was supposed to know because Aiden visibly tenses and his face once again goes ghostly pale.

I hate all this drama crap. I want to help my friends but I really don't think me standing here will help anyone. And it's not my business to get into anyway. Everyone is too involved in arguing.

I look over at where Spencer and Chelsea are standing. They're talking to Kyla and I don't see Glen. He must have stomped away. My eyes linger on Spencer and an insane feeling of content-ness comes over me. I am so happy we aren't fucked up like this. I feel better with her than I ever have, ever. I think she makes me sane. And the way the moon is glowing down on her, making her gorgeous blonde hair shine and her face sparkle, makes me want to go over and tell her I love her and kiss her.

Court and Aiden are still bickering. I see tears in Court's eyes and Aiden is looking hopeless and lost. I move from the wall and go over to Spencer, wrap my arms around her waist from behind and rest my face on her shoulder. I feel her jump a little in surprise but then relax into my embrace.

"Maybe we should just go." Chelsea says lightly. Kyla doesn't say anything, for once in her life. And Spencer nods. "Okay, let me go tell the boys." She gives me a slight smile and goes over to Aiden and Court, who are still arguing.

Spencer turns around in my grip and wraps her arms around my neck, nuzzling her face in the crook of it.

"Can you come over?" I whisper to her as I rub her back softly. Her body is keeping me incredibly warm. And I am loving it. Like I am loving her.

"Yeah." Spencer says lightly into my neck. Then she kisses it gently. It's not lustful and it's not anything deep. It's soft. And it's comforting. And it's amazing. So wonderfully simple.

Chelsea makes her way back to us. "You're good to drive, Ash?" She asks me.

I nod. "I'm fine. All that shit definitely sobered me up quick. Let's get the hell out of here."

"Could I grab a ride?" Court asks as he walks up to us, Aiden gone.

I look over his shoulder and around the empty parking lot, wondering where he went. "Of course." I tell him.

_I really just want to go home,_ I think to myself.

Finally, finally, finally, after driving Chelsea and Court home, me, Spencer, and Kyla get to my house.

"Thanks Ashley." Kyla says in a very, very tired and sore voice as she goes into the kitchen. I look at her, kind of worried. Maybe I should go talk to her or something. Or maybe she just wants space.

"I'm gunna talk to her for a second." Spencer says to me as she kisses my cheek. "I'll be right up."

I smile at her and nod. I head up the stairs into my room, trying to get all the drama out of my head. I would love to not care, but I do. I wish Kyla wouldn't be so mean to Glen. I wish Glen would stop being a baby and just let her go. I wish Aiden would grow a pair and admit he wants to be with Court. I wish Court wasn't being hurt by Aiden, he's a good guy.

I sigh to myself as I change into a t-shirt and sweatpants. My head hurts from the combination of stress and alcohol. I get out some clothes for Spencer for when she gets upstairs.

Stopping at my dresser, I look at myself in the mirror. The girl staring back has tired eyes but surprisingly, a smile on her face. I raise my eyebrow at her. She does the same. _You love her_, the girl is saying with her eyes. "I know." I say back to her. _Tell her then,_ she says as she turns away.

I sit on the edge of my bed waiting for Spencer. After a little while, the door cracks open and she slides through.

"Sorry." Spencer says, her face all scrunched up "That was like, the first time in my friendship with your sister that I had to pull things out of her."

I chuckle as Spencer changes into the clothes I laid out for her. I gave her shorts because I like her legs. Selfish, yes, but you would do the same. My eyes stay on her the whole time and I feel them getting heavy with desire.

Spencer walks towards me and threads her fingers through my hair. It's an amazingly soothing gesture and I think I purr like a kitten. I know I do by Spencer's eyes when I open my own and look up at her. Her shiny blue ones are looking at me intently and she has a lazy smile on her face. I put my hands on her waist and pull her towards me.

"Is she okay?" I ask, because I guess I care about my sister a little bit.

"She's not the best. I think she really does like Glen, but you know Kyla, she doesn't really let herself get attached." Spencer shrugs and glances back at me and I know we're both completing that sentence in our heads. _Just like her sister._

But that's no longer true and I have to make it clear. I'm so attached to Spencer it scares me and fulfills me at the same time.

"I'm glad we don't have all that drama bullshit. I'm glad you're you." I tell her sincerely as she keeps running her fingers through my hair. She is very close to me now and I am exceedingly aware of this. My body can feel it as can my senses. All of them.

Because I _**see**_ her adorable face in front of me with its red lips and sparkly blue eyes. I _**hear**_ the sound of my heart beating fast when she is just near me. I can _**smell**_ her, all citrus-y and sweet at the same time. Her lips are so close to mine I can practically _**taste**_ them on me and my mouth even waters a little bit at the thought. And I _**feel**_ her incredibly soft skin under my fingertips as I gently rub her sides up and down.

"I'm glad you're you too." She smiles at me. "I'm mad at Aiden for being a douchebag to Court.'

I nod. "Me too. He looked so sad." Spencer is still standing when I pull her into me to hug her. Again, I am warmed by her body and the way her face is against my cheek. "I'm so happy I have you, you have no idea." I tell her quietly.

"Me too." She says sleepily into me.

"I'm not, I'm not, you know, _your _experiment, am I?" I ask her nervously. I know it was a stupid question. I know I shouldn't have asked, but I had to. I can't feel this strongly about her and just have it be nothing. I know that's not true, though. It's just I've never felt like this, I have no experience in loving someone so completely, so fully.

With this question, Spencer takes her cheek from mine and puts her face close to mine, eyes wandering around my face and then resting on my eyes. All I see in those eyes are love. And that's all I need. "Ashley." She says evenly. And I know by her voice that she thinks my question is just as stupid and untrue as I thought it was. I smile at her.

"Don't even say that. You're- _everything_." She says quietly.

My heart jumps around my chest at her words and how she said "everything."

"I know, so are you. I just, you know, it's just-" I pause, looking for lost words. I find them buried in the back of my throat. "It's just that, I love you, Spencer."

She smiles wide at me. "Ash, I love you too."

But that's not how I meant it. "No, I mean," I start, my eyes looking in hers as she looks confused, "I mean like, I know we love each other. I've always known that. What I meant to say is that- I'm _in_ love with you. Like, insanely." My words come out rushed, forcing their way out of a mouth that had been wanting to say them forever.

Spencer just stands in front of me and keeps looking at me. Her eyes are wide and I am nervous. She still doesn't say anything.

"Spence, I'm pissing my pants here, please say something, it doesn't even matter what you say, anything would be f-" I mumble nervously but she shuts me up with her lips on mine. I kiss her back, my hands rubbing her stomach under the t-shirt she is wearing. She pulls away and kisses my forehead before bringing her eyes back to me.

She grins goofily at me. "I'm incredibly in love with you too, Ashley. Exactly the same way you are."

"You are?" I ask as my smile widens. I pull her on top of me so she's basically straddling me.

Spencer nods at me. "I am. If not more." She smiles slyly at me.

I grab her face to me and say "Impossible" before I kiss her with a shit-load of passion.

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When I wake up I immediately feel Spencer's warm body against mine. She is basically on top of me, snoring slightly and I am aware of three different things all at once.

One. I told her I was in love with her last night. _In_ love. And she said it back.

Two. I have no shirt on. No anything on except my sweatpants.

Three. Spencer only has shorts on. That's it.

Spencer's naked chest is against mine and I cannot control the groan that comes out of me when I feel and realize this nice little situation we have here. My whole body is on fire, and in a good way. A _very_ good way. I look around my room, squinting when I catch some of the morning sunlight drifting in through the windows. Our tops are strewn about from a fit of passion; mine is hanging off a lamp and Spencer's is draped over my computer. I laugh lightly, remembering when Spencer threw my shirt on the lamp and mumbled into my mouth "It's broken anyway."

I guess my slight movements seemed to have stirred Spencer from her zombie-like state. I smile when I see her eyes fluttering as she yawns sleepily on top of me. It's way too cute for words.

I kiss her forehead. "Good morning cutie-pie."

"Mmmm, morning." Spencer answers, looking at me now. Her face goes red with blush at our state and then she smiles. "I love waking up with you under me."

I groan loudly at her words. "Uuuuh, Spencer, Jesus." I laugh. It's early, but it's not too early to be turned on. With Spencer, it is _never _too early to be turned on.

I turn my head to kiss her while my hands rub up and down on her exposed back. My tongue can't help but lick her lip and when I do, Spencer moans into my mouth, making me tingle and ache. I try to flip us over so that I am on top of her but Spencer stops me with her hand, pushing my shoulder down. I groan at her force as she gently bites my earlobe.

This sweet morning is quickly turning hot.

I feel Spencer's hands trailing down from my shoulders, over my chest, and onto my hip bones, dangerously close to my center. She starts to massage my hip bones under my sweatpants lightly. I think I might die.

"Fuck." I moan as quietly as I can and arch just a bit into her. Spencer pushes my body down as she slips her leg more snuggly in between mine.

"Oh, my God, Spencer." I pant out as she keeps moving her leg slowly. I kiss her hard, feeling like it is totally possible that I will die from this teasing. It feels so good it must be able to assassinate me with ecstasy.

One of my hands travels to her chest as the other goes to the back of her neck, pulling her for even more contact, if that is at all possible.

"Ash." Spencer moans in a low growl my name and it does things to me I cannot even begin to explain.

I guess my massaging hand spurs her own hand because all of a sudden I feel her hand in my sweatpants and her enter me slowly. "Jesus _fucking_ Christ." I moan into her mouth as I start to move with her hand.

I was always surprised at how just her simple touch can make me go wild, and I was surprised at how perfect she feels. Like we are so ridiculously connected it's- _ridiculous_. That is kind of how I felt last night, but that time, I wasn't surprised at all. I _knew _she made me go crazy, and I _knew_ she felt perfect. I had been with other girls before and it was good, yeah. But I never had that love for them, that complete need and devotion for and to someone. But I have that with Spencer. I have that insane love.

And that made all the difference in the world.

After our very intense morning, Spencer and I decided to go get breakfast. Spencer is the only person that could get me out of bed on a Sunday morning.

"Can I have that?" Spencer asks me as I flip through the newspaper that someone left in the booth we are sitting at in the diner. I'm sipping my coffee steadily and Spencer is sitting right next to me. Neither of us had the will-power to sit across from each other and not touch.

Not touch? Yeah, right.

"The science section? Spence." I say as I try not to laugh.

"Shut up Ashley. Please?" She looks at me with wide, smiling eyes. Eyes I could never deny.

"Fine, here, dork." I chuckle at her.

I can't stop looking at her. I watch her lick her finger lightly and turn the page. I watch her take a sip of her tea. I can't stop my eyes from roaming her body, remembering how spectacular it felt under me and on top of me. All over me. My eyes are steady on the side of her face as I drink my coffee.

"What's up creeper, why are you staring at me like that?" Spencer says without looking at me. She laughs lightly as she says it.

"I love your face." I simply state.

Spencer turns to me now, her eyes meet mine, rake down my figure and then meet back. One side of her mouth curls into a smile and then she goes back to reading. Her wordless action sends tingles through my body.

"Hey!" Says a voice as a very tired looking Chelsea sits down across from us.

"Hey Chels, what's up?" Spencer asks her, putting down the paper.

"Ugh, was that not like, the longest night of you life?" She says dramatically, while signaling the waitress to get her coffee.

Spencer glances at me and I know without looking she turns red. I just smirk. "Yeah." I answer.

Chelsea looks between the two of us. Taking in how we're sitting next to each other. Taking in Spencer's bright red cheeks. Taking in my smirk.

Then Chelsea smirks as well. "Right." She says, drawing out the second syllable. So it's like a _Riiiiiiiight_. "Anyway," She starts again, smiling, "Aiden called me after you guys dropped me off and I talked to him until like, five in the morning."

"How is he?" I ask her.

"Messed up. He has no idea what to do." Chelsea says, dipping her toast in the coffee. _Weird_.

"And I still don't." Aiden's gruff voice sounds like he hadn't slept all night. He slides in next to Chelsea and grabs a piece of her toast. "I'm a jerk."

Chelsea watches him eat her toast. "Yes, we know." She says angrily. "You have to apologize." She tells him softer now.

"Definitely." Spencer says.

"I know, I tried to call him, but he didn't answer. I'm sure he doesn't want to talk to me." Aiden rubs his eyes. "Why would he? _I _don't even want to talk to me."

"But you have to keep trying." Spencer says while she offers him a smile. I take her hand in mine under the table. Lacing them together over and over, because it's one of my favorite feelings. Her fingers brushing softy against mine.

"I guess. I don't even know what I'd say."

"You say," I start and take a sip of coffee, "that you're an asshole, first off." Aiden chuckles slightly. "And then," I continue, "you say you're sorry."

"And after that?" Chelsea says, looking at me, seemingly skeptical as to whether I'm being serious or not.

"I don't know. I guess the first thing would be to get the friendship back." I say evenly. Aiden looks at me, letting my words wash over him. His green eyes are glossy, and his mouth is frowning slightly.

"I really hope that's possible." He admits finally.

I know Aiden is being a total dick. I know he likes Court more than he ever thought he would. And I know he's scared of telling him, having it consume him. Because I know exactly what that feels like. And I'm aware of having that nervousness intrude your very being until you can no longer stand it. I know it's hard.

But most of all, I absolutely, certainly, and without a doubt, _know_ that it's worth every second of it.


	14. Certain Words In Uncertain Times

**Helloooo! So, I tried something a little different within this chapter. Even though Aiden and Court aren't really my main priority (obviously), I still wanted to show what happened between them, mostly because I particularly like Court. Anyway, I hope you like it, I was more into trying out some writing techniques but I think the scene came out pretty well.  
Leave me some love =)**

**Ashley's POV**

"He said he's done." Aiden tells me as his eyes search mine for help.

I am quiet. I don't know what to say to the boy with a frown on his face, devastation in his eyes.

**Third Person POV**

The green-eyed boy looks around the little café, trying to spot the boy that he is meeting. It had been hard to get him to agree to come. Phone calls in double digits, text-messages alike. Voicemails. Aiden thought maybe, just maybe, Court would listen to what had been thinking and forgive him. Was it possible to take it all back? The boy with the circles under his eyes and unshaven face hoped so.

He looks out in front of him and sees the door to the café open, the sunlight hitting the person he had been waiting for in a beautiful beam. The boy he was trying to fix it with looked good, he looked really good. His dark jeans contrasted nicely with his light pink polo, bringing attention the nice color of his eyes and the lightness of his sun-streaked hair.

Aiden's thoughts float around his head. At the sight of the other boy, Aiden becomes nervous for different reasons. One, obviously because this is important. This confrontation will say all. But second, second is the reason he is in this mess in the first place. The jittery nervousness he feels whenever he sees Court walk through a door, or look at him from under his gorgeous blonde shaggy hair. The feeling he gets whenever they touch, some kind of weird electricity.

_So this is what it's supposed to feel like_, Aiden had thought every time he felt his heart pound in his chest as he kissed Court.

The boy in the pink polo comes over and sits down across from Aiden on a couch. Specifically not wanting to sit next to the green-eyed boy who had hurt him. Doing that would just make him lose his courage, his resolve. It would be harder to not touch, which would make doing what he was about to do impossible.

_He looks like shit_, Court thinks to himself as he has his eyes on everything but Aiden. For a second, he feels guilty at the happiness Aiden's crappy appearance brings to him. He deserves it, though.

Aiden decides to speak first, knowing Court will not. "Hey." He says lightly. Evenly, masking the nervousness that's coursing throughout his body.

"Hey." Court speaks back, not wanting to seem too eager to talk.

"How are you?" Aiden says quietly and then immediately wishes he didn't say that. The other boy looks at him, finally, his glare conveying a message that says _Are you serious?_ "I'm sorry. Bad question." Aiden tries to fix his mistake.

Aiden tries hard to remember all the things he wants to say. He even wrote them all down on an index card. One he forgot to bring with him. But maybe that was for the better, he didn't want it to seem like a lecture or something. He's pissed that he is at a loss for words already and they haven't even started to really talk.

Court settles more comfortably into the soft couch, finding peace in Aiden's worrying eyes. With his hands on his lap, he looks up when he hears Aiden start to talk again.

"I'm really sorry Court." Aiden is saying, not making eye-contact. "I was such an asshole to you."

"Yeah, you were." Court says more meanly than he intends. Usually, as mad and angry as he can get, his voice never betrays him. _Why is it different with him?_ Court thinks to himself, watching Aiden's foot bounce up and down.

"I know." The boy across from him says quietly. "I know, you so didn't deserve that. I just- I got nervous Court."

Court winces slightly at the mention of his own name.

"This is not something I ever expected to happen. Can't you understand how hard it is?" Aiden continues, meeting the grey-blue eyes across from him. Apparently, this is the wrong thing to say.

"Are you fucking kidding me? Of course I know it's hard, Aiden." Court enunciates the other boy's name, giving him a dose of his own medicine.

"I thought you were going to give me time, you know, like we talked about. Time to figure it out." Aiden throws at him.

Court stares straight ahead. He knows he said that, but how long? How long would he have to wait for Aiden to come around? How long would it be before this kid sees what's going on and can accept it? Court understands it is difficult, of course he does. But how long is he supposed to wait before Aiden changes his mind, or closes up again, or hurts him? Court wonders how long, just how long would it take for his heart to get broken?

"I did give you time." Court says lightly now, his thoughts making him way too emotional. "And I was willing to wait, you knew that. But that didn't mean we were nothing and you know it. That didn't mean that it didn't _hurt_ to see you just pick out some random girl to assert your straightness. Just tell me, Aiden, tell me just exactly how much _time_ you were going to waste?"

Aiden visibly sees Court's demeanor change as he says the words he hates to hear. The boy across from him is no longer comfortable in the couch, he's tense and tapping his fingers on his knee. And Aiden takes his words with no armor. He knows Court is right.

"I'm sorry. I-" Aiden says again but is cut off by Court's voice, louder now.

"You said that already." Court informs him, voice even now. Emotions finally in check.

"I know. Look, I know you're right, you are. But I'm here right? I'm here because I don't want anymore time. I just want- I just want you now." Aiden's voice hesitates for such a short moment it might be hard to detect. But the quiver in his voice is all Court needs to hear to allow him to do what he needs to do. To protect his heart.

"It's too late, Aiden." Court says forcefully.

Aiden feels his eyes watering just a tiny bit. "But, this is different, I-"

"It's not really." Court interjects, stopping Aiden from making promises that might never be fulfilled. "How long will it be before you get freaked out and run again? I can't handle that, alright. I won't let myself be hurt by you more than I already am. So you can take more time, all the time you need to figure yourself out. But this time I won't be waiting." Court finishes what his brain told him to say but what his heart is aching painfully at. He stands up to leave and when he does Aiden does as well.

"Court, please."

"I'm sorry, Aiden." Court glances at Aiden's figure one more time.

"Can't, can't we be friends at least?" Aiden rushes out, thinking that maybe as long as he's talking and saying something Court will stay. He won't leave like Aiden himself did.

"I don't know about that." Court says slowly as he turns on his heel and walks out of the door to the café. He wipes the one tear from his eye as he walks into the L.A. sun, trying desperately to convince himself that what he just did was for the best.

**Ashley's POV**

I am so involved with thinking about what Aiden told me about his conversation with Court that I drive past Spencer's house. Twice.

Aiden looked like he was going to cry just talking about it. And I felt bad leaving him but for some reason, everything about what he told me made me have the urge to see Spencer. That's what a totally heart-breaking and fucked up situation will do to you sometimes. It'll make you feel the need to go be with someone you care so deeply about, because unlike Aiden not having Court, I _do_ have Spencer.

Part of me even feels guilty about feeling that way and thinking of it in those terms. Maybe it's selfish. It might be. But I honestly don't give a shit.

_God fucking dammit_ I think to myself as I park outside of Spencer's house. Paula's car is the only one in the driveway. That means Mr. C isn't home, not even Glen is home. I can't even stand the thought of Paula, every time I see her I want rip her throat out and feed it to some lions in the wild.

Ever since that fight I had with her at dinner that one time, Paula acts as if nothing happened. She treats me just as icy as usual. I'm thinking that Spencer probably told her to fuck off, obviously not literally, but in a sense. Spencer never talked about the fight she had with her mom after that, so I don't know what happened.

I'm just happy I'm allowed to go over.

The door opens slightly after I ring the doorbell and when I see Paula's stupid face, I remind myself that I don't want to go to Juvy for punching an adult.

Paula opens the door wider and looks me over with an evil glare. "Spencer's in the kitchen." Is all she says. And I don't say anything, I just nod.

I make my way to the kitchen, after Paula slammed the door after I came in and went upstairs.

I look over my shoulder to make sure she's not secretly hiding and watching me, before I put my hand on the small of Spencer's back. "Boo." I whisper.

I'm surprised when Spencer doesn't jump, she just turns around, looks quickly behind me, and pecks me softly on the lips.

"Did she harass you?' Spencer asks me as she puts something in the fridge.

I pause a minute, watching her bend over, and then compose myself, remembering I have to speak. "Uh, not really. She just said you were in the kitchen." I shrug and smile at Spencer. "I think she tried to slam the door on my foot or something though, Spence."

Spencer giggles at me. "Possible." She says.

I pull her closer to me by her waist, looking her up and down. I know that the stairs will make sounds if Paula decides to come down and grace us with her horrid presence, so I'm not hesitant in my actions.

"Any chance she'll go out?" I ask quietly. Then I connect my mouth to the softness that is Spencer's neck and begin to suck lightly.

I hear Spencer moan just a tiny bit and my hands move down to her ass.

"We should go upstairs, we're in the middle of the kitchen." Spencer says in a deep voice, one laced with lust. I know because my voice is exactly the same way.

"Don't you think it's better if we're not on the same floor as her?" I say quietly, putting my hands in her back pockets.

I take myself away from Spencer's neck to look at her. Her brow is furrowed and her chest is moving heavily up and down. It looks like she's trying to determine where the safest place for us to go is.

"I don't know, I-" Spencer starts but stops abruptly, turning her head towards the direction of the stairs. They're creaking, which means Paula's coming. Spencer pushes me off her forcefully.

Bad idea, her roughness just turns me on more.

"Hi mom." Spencer says cheerily when Paula walks in. I almost gag in the way she says it.

The thing that bothers me, more than Paula being a bitch, more that not being able to be alone with Spencer in her house, more than hiding us from Paula. The thing that really bothers me is how Spencer can bear to talk to the woman like it's okay. Sometimes, I just wish she'd be a little meaner, considering how much of a horrible person her mother has been to me in the past. It almost hurts my feelings, that Spencer can pretend her mom never said those awful things to me and about me.

I'm all for Spencer coming out to her mom about us. I just want to get it out. I want to be able to hug her in her house without her worrying that Paula might see.

I just want to hug my girlfriend.

But Spencer doesn't want to. She wants to wait. And I understand, but how long can this go on? It's getting harder and harder to control myself with Spencer. How can she expect me to not touch her all the time? How long does she expect me to take Paula's bullshit and not act like I'm totally in love with her? It's building up steadily and before long, _something_ has to happen.

"Hi dear. What are you doing?" Paula asks Spencer without looking at her or me. She doesn't ask what _we're_ doing. She doesn't ask "What are you _two_ doing?" Just what Spencer is doing.

And Spencer notices, I can tell by the way she replies. "_We're_ going to watch a movie. Right Ash?"

I look at her. "Right." I say evenly.

"Alright. I'm going out when your father gets home." Paula says, glancing at me once and then turning back to the refrigerator.

"Why don't you just go now?" Spencer asks her, the tiniest hint of annoyance in her voice.

Paula doesn't miss a beat. "Because I'm going out when your father gets home."

I see Spencer tense out of the corner of my eye. "Fine." She answers back, as she motions for me to follow her into the living room.

Spencer puts a movie in and comes to sit next to me on the couch. But not that close. I hear the steps being taken up the stairs slowly and then a door shuts. _Thank God_.

Spencer looks at me with apologetic eyes.

"I hate her." I hiss out.

Spencer moves closer to me and rubs her hand soothingly on my thigh under the blanket. "Ashley."

"Why are you so nice to her? She shows you no affection." I turn to say. There is some anger in my voice. I just don't get it.

"She's my mother." Spencer says evenly, her eyes penetrating mine.

"She ignores my presence altogether." I say, now with some distress in my voice. My voice cracks just a tiny bit as I speak.

Spencer brings her hand to cup my cheek and she leans in and kisses me softly, making all my anger melt away. Her soft lips leave mine feeling tingly and just from one kiss, I can feel my heart beat a little faster. She keeps her forehead pressed against mine and closes her eyes.

"Do you have any idea how that makes me feel? I mean, I don't care, but it can make a person feel kinda shitty." I say, trying not to sound too upset. I know Spencer gets upset all the time about Paula, and she doesn't need my burden on top of that.

Spencer sighs and opens her eyes, taking her face away from mine just a bit. "What, that my own mother doesn't realize how happy I am, or care about how completely in love I am with my girlfriend?" She says slowly and quietly. She doesn't say it in a mean way. She honestly, truly asks me. She tucks a piece of my hair behind my ear, brushing my cheek lightly before she continues. "Yeah, I know how that feels."

She puts her head on my shoulder and I rub her hand softly in mine. I don't say anything else because I can't have this conversation anymore. Not now, at least.

"I wonder how _Paula _would feel if she knew I was making her little angel all hot and sweaty, when I'm fu-" I am cut off by Spencer covering my mouth.

"Ashley!" She hisses loudly at me. Her eyes dart to the ceiling, motioning to the fact that Paula is right upstairs.

"What? When I'm _funny_. Geez, get your head out of the gutter Spencer." I smirk at her as I talk.

Spencer raises her eyebrow at me. "Right." She says.

"So can I be funny with you?" I ask her, smiling.

I expect her to tell me to _shut up,_ but instead she looks at me and says "Later."

I can't stop myself. "Do you think handcuffs are good for being _funny_, Spence?" I ask completely serious.

"Shut up Ash."

There it is.


	15. Undressing The Words

**Thanks everybody for reading and reviewing!  
Much love. **

**Spencer's POV**

"I love Poptarts. I love Poptars. I love Poptarts." I sing to myself as I clean my room. "I love Poptarts. I love Pop-"

"Um, Spencer?" My dad's voice comes from my doorway.

I stop singing and blush a little. Well _that's_ not embarrassing.

"Oh, hi dad." I turn around to look at him. He's smiling at me. "What's up?"

"What kind?" He says as he crosses his arms across his chest.

"Uh, what?"

"What _kind_ of Poptarts?" He asks chuckling a little bit as he says it. He likes to laugh at his own jokes. And I love him for it.

"Ha ha. Cinnamon. What's up, dad?" I say as I sit on the edge of my bed.

"Nothing, I just wanted to see how everything was. You know, just checking up. I have to cross it off my list of fatherly duties." He says as he walks slowly over to my desk chair and sits down.

For a minute I stare at him because I feel bad. I feel bad because just the other day, me and Ashley were on that chair. You know, _on_ that chair. I have to stop myself from thinking about it in front of my father. Stop thinking about how her hot body felt pressed against mine. Stop thinking about how her eyes became lidded and extremely dark with want as I straddled her. Stop thinking of how she bit the swell of my breast.

Stop. _Stop. _Poptarts. _Poptarts._

"I'm good, actually. Everything is fine." I tell him, smiling. Because it's the truth.

"School's good, then?" He asks me, adjusting his glasses on his nose.

"Yup, good."

"How's Ashley?" He says lightly, looking me in the eyes.

I'm not really taken off guard by his question. He always asks me how my friends are. What I _am_ taken off guard by is the way his eyes are intently searching mine.

I can't help but grin widely at the mention of her name. "Ashley is great." I tell him truthfully. I never really lie to my dad, only because I never see a reason to.

"Good, good. That's great. She hasn't been over much lately." He says with a trace of something in his voice I can't seem to recognize.

"Oh." I start, not exactly sure what to say. "Well, you know, I usually go to her house, so. I mean she-"

"Spence." My dad interrupts my pointless rambling. "I know your mom doesn't really, hasn't really taken much of a liking to her." He speaks kind of sadly and his eyes wander around the room.

"Understatement." I mutter.

I can see him trying not to smirk at my words. "But I don't want you to feel as if you can't have her over because of- that." I know that when he says _that_ he's really saying _because of your mother_.

I sigh heavily. "Thanks for saying that dad, but honestly, she's not the nicest to Ashley." I think for a second, remembering my conversation with her the other day about my mom. When I remember Ashley telling me her hurt feelings, it gives me more nerve. "Actually, she's really mean to her, and I don't like it. At all."

For some reason, saying this lifts a weight off my chest. I look at my dad, trying to figure out what his reaction will be. He puts one hand up to his chin to lean on and nods at me.

"I know. Honestly Spencer, I don't like it either." He pauses. "I know how happy Ashley makes you." He tells me seriously and he has that look in his eyes again.

"You do?" I ask.

He smiles a little bit, the tired lines around his eyes becoming more prominent. "Of course. It's impossible to miss, I-" He pauses a second, looking like he is choosing his words carefully. "I welcome her anytime."

His words make my heart swell with love for my father. Because by the look in his eyes. By the way he says Ashley's name. By the way he has just told me all these things. I can tell he knows.

_He knows_.

I'm nervous to say my next words, but I know he will understand. And although I am nervous, I am in no way scared. "I love her, dad."

My dad looks at me and smiles. He comes over to me and squeezes my shoulder affectionately. "I know you do kiddo." He says, his tone telling me he definitely gets my drift. He understands the heaviness my statement now holds. I don't have to say anything else, because this was all that was needed. I know my father gets what my underlying message was.

With that, he walks out of my room slowly. A second later he pops his head back in and says "You know, I really like the strawberry kind." And he's gone, laughing to himself down the hallway.

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"Wow, that's awesome." Chelsea says to me from across the picnic table in the quad.

I nod and smile at her. I just told her about my conversation with my dad.

"What's awesome?" Kyla says loudly to us as she plops down next to Chelsea. She has a carrot in her mouth. Chelsea turns to look at her chewing on it and raises her eyebrow.

"What's up Doc?" Chelsea says sarcastically to her and Kyla glares at her and then she glares at me when I snicker loudly.

"You're so clever. What's awesome?" She says again, resting her elbows on the table surface.

"Spencer is pretty sure her dad knows about her and Ashley." Chelsea tells her, flipping through pages of a magazine.

"No shit? That _is_ awesome. Did you tell him?" She asks me, twirling the carrot in her hands.

"No, I think he just kind of- guessed. Or can tell." I say slowly.

"Your dad is really cool though, Spence. And your mom is, uh." Kyla looks over at Chelsea quickly. "Nice?" She finishes.

I sigh in distress. "I know, my mom kind of sucks." I put my arms on the table and rest my head on top of them.

"What the fuck is with the carrot, Kyla?" I hear Ashley's husky voice say from behind me.

"It's good for you." Kyla says evenly.

Ashley snorts. "Yeah, you just like having something in your mou-"

"Ashley." Chelsea cuts her off in a stern tone.

I feel Ashley's soft hand rub my back gently and then I feel her presence right next to me. I lift my head up and smile at her. She looks gorgeous, like usual. Her hair is especially curly today and her skin is beautifully tanned and glowing.

And she looks so goddamn sexy in that leather jacket.

"Hi." I say quietly to her.

She smiles wide, her nose crinkling and chocolate eyes sparkling. "Hi there." Her hand on my hip as she kisses my cheek, nuzzling the spot with her nose for a second. She smells deliciously good, so much so I kind of want to lick her to see if her skin tastes as good as she smells.

In fact, I _know_ her skin tastes as good as it smells.

"Spencer told us her dad knows about you guys." Kyla says, breaking up our moment.

Ashley nods. "Yeah. I love Mr. C. I think if me and Paula ever threw down, he'd have my back." She says and me, Chelsea, and even Kyla start to laugh.

Kyla's laughter dies down early and I see her eyes focus behind me, following someone across the quad. I turn my head slightly around to see it was Glen she is looking at. I meet her eyes and they look sad for a second. Then she frowns slightly at me and looks away. Continuing to eat her carrot.

"Have you talked to him?" Chelsea asks the question that was just on my mind. Chelsea asks Kyla this without looking at her, still flipping through pages of her magazine.

Kyla shrugs slightly. "Not really. Every time I try we just fight. And I don't know what to say anyway." She says dejectedly. "I don't know. I guess we're pretty much over."

"That sucks." Chelsea says sympathetically.

Kyla shrugs again. "Yeah I guess. But maybe it's better this way."

"What do you mean?" I ask her, confused.

Kyla take s bite of her carrot. "It's better that he's not wasting his time on me, you know? When he could find someone else that wants to be with him."

Ashley tilts her head at her sister, probably confused at her sudden niceness. Kyla gives her a look. "What Ashley? I have _emotions_." Kyla says and smirks. Ashley chuckles a little.

"But anyway." Kyla continues. "I still kind of wish we could be friends."

"You cold try." Chelsea says.

Kyla takes another bite of her carrot and glances at her. "We'll see."

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"Are you sure?" Ashley asks me.

"Yes."

"But are you _sure?"_ She asks again.

"_Yes_"

"Seriously, Spencer, are you sure?"

"Ashley yes!" I yell more loudly than I need to, considering that Ashley and I are in the fancy perfume section at the mall. "Yes, I am sure okay? I'm sure your aunt will love that weird smelling perfume."

Ashley frowns at me adorably, and goes to smell it one more time.

"Alright." She says as she picks up a bottle of it.

We've been here for an hour. An _hour_ of Ashley smelling a million different kinds of perfume for a birthday present for her aunt. My head is starting to get dizzy from all this musty perfume and I am so happy we can pay and leave this section shortly.

We start to walk through the department store, heading up the escalator to the clothes. Ashley now needs to buy a shirt for her aunt's surprise party.

"It has to be not too, flashy." She says, searching through racks.

I smirk at her. "You mean you can't be dressed like a hoe?"

Ashley looks at me with three things in her hand. "I resent that." She says evenly. But I know she's not mad because I see the lines by her eyes smiling.

"Come on, I have to try these on." She whispers as she raises an eyebrow to me. I am hoping no one sees both of us go into the cramped dressing room. When we get in, I take a seat on the elevated part in the corner.

"So, do you think any of my own clothes would constitute as not flashy, because Kyla said…" Ashley is talking but somewhere in her sentence I zone her out. All I can focus on now is how she is unbuttoning her shirt slowly, her fingers popping each button out of its hole. I have never seen someone un-pop buttons in such an amazingly sexy way. It's driving me insane. Now she just has a black bra on with her tight, dark jeans and don't think I could stop staring if I tried. I think my hands are gripping the side of what I am sitting on tightly. Knuckles turning white. She is still talking but I don't know about what.

"Spence? Spencer!" Her heightened tone brings me out of my daydreaming daze.

I take my eyes away from her chest extremely slowly, dragging them up her body. "Yeah?" I answer hoarsely. I hadn't even noticed that she had put on one of her shirts, it just wasn't buttoned, her bra still exposed.

She puts her hands in her back pockets, rolling back and forth on her heels and her toes. With this motion, the front of her shirt is opening even more. "You like this one?" She asks, her voice a little huskier than before.

"It's- very nice." My throat is dry, but I think my mouth is watering slightly.

"Yeah?" Ashley is right in front of me now. Her body bent downward so that her face is exactly in front of mine. My eyes meet her gorgeous brown ones and she whispers "You like it?"

I can feel her breath on my lips and then she kisses me eagerly. Her tongue going right in, meeting my own. I moan lightly and grab her waist, running my hands over her toned stomach. She makes a grunting sound that turns me on immensely. Ashley pushes me back further into the corner I am sitting in, her knee propping her up right in between my legs. Her mouth finds my earlobe, biting it gently before taking it in her mouth as her hands rest on my thighs, scratching them lightly. This causes a strangled moan to escape my throat.

"I have to try the rest on." Ashley whispers into my ear and bites the side of my jaw before pulling completely away.

I sit in my corner breathing heavily, narrowing my eyes at her. I cross my arms and say "You're mean."

Ashley turns her head around slightly from looking in the mirror and winks at me.

Then I cross my _legs_.


	16. Tequila Moonlight

**Hope you love it as much as Spencer loves poptarts ;)**

**Spencer's POV**

Standing at my locker, I am searching for my biology textbook as Court is yakking away at my side.

"Geez, Spencer, how can you find anything in this mess?" He says after finishing his account of how he had met a guy at Slant last night.

I look into my locker, pushing aside Ashley's jacket, Ashley's sole notebook, Ashley's pile of notes to me. She has gotten into the habit of just putting her stuff into my locker. It makes sense because she barely has any notebooks of schoolbooks. This intimate thing, this sharing a locker makes me feel all jittery inside, that happy jittery. It's kind of like living together, sharing personal space. This space has become _ours_. Not that she didn't put her stuff in here when we were just best friends. But now, it has a deeper meaning. And the piles of her stuff have gotten larger.

I shrug at Court's comment, pushing aside a folder to uncover my textbook.

"Spencer! I've been wonder-" I hear Aiden's voice coming from behind me, getting louder as he comes closer. He cuts off and I see Court whip his head to the side to look at green-eyed boy.

The one he has been avoiding mercilessly for the past week.

"Uh." Aiden mumbles as he comes to my side, leaning on the lockers. "Hey, Court." He says softly. I watch Court's eyes bounce around before looking at Aiden.

"Hey. What's up?" He says nonchalantly.

"Nothing, I was just trying to find Spencer." He says nervously.

"Well, I'm right here." I say as I stuff my book into my bag, now on a mission to find my notebook.

"We're um, we're all going to get ice cream some night this week, do you wanna come?" Aiden asks Court with trepidation in his voice.

I glance quickly at Court. Court's mouth turns into a slight frown and I can almost see the wheels turning in his mind. Balancing the situation. "Sure." He breathes out.

Aiden grins slightly. "Alright, well I'll see you guys later." He says as he flashes me a smile.

Court and I start in the other direction towards our shared biology class.

"I thought you said you met a guy?" I ask Court cautiously.

"I did." He deadpans.

"So.." I start, letting him finish the thought in his own head. I know how hard Court has been trying to handle his situation with Aiden, in a simple clear-cut-don't-talk-to-him way.

Court sighs, almost in surrender.

"He wasn't Aiden." He simply says.

And I understand totally.

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For the whole day, my mind can't seem to focus on what I'm supposed to being working on or what I'm supposed to be learning. I'm thinking about how tonight, I have to go to Ashley's aunt's surprise party. And meet all of her relatives. This kind of situation causes me to break out into a nervous sweat. There's nothing fun about going to your significant others family function. It is so intimidating, like having to dance the macarena by yourself.

Ashley assured me that it would be fine. That she would be right with me. And that we didn't have to stay for the whole party. But still, would they like me? What if couldn't think of anything to say? What if they thought Ashley's new girlfriend was weird and dorky?

The only solace I got from this situation was the fact that I would be the first girl Ashley ever brought to meet her relatives. I guess none of the others ever made it past her bed. _Ugh_. I feel cynical just thinking that thought.

What if I spill food all over myself? What if I snort soda up my nose by accident? These are all things I am thinking about, as I get ready, right before Ashley gets to my house to pick me up. I hope my sundress isn't too casual, or too fancy.

I turn around when I hear the door to my room creak open. I see an Ashley dressed in a nice, button up shirt with black slacks on. She looks so different, but I don't think she's ever looked more breathtaking.

"I feel like we're going to a garden party with the Queen or some shit." She says as she leans against my doorframe. Her eyes then look me up and down and she grins. "God, you look so pretty Spence."

I feel my blush go from my exposed neck and up to my cheeks. "Thanks. It's just a sundress."

Ashley licks her lips. "Mmm, I like you in dresses." She says quietly.

I give her a look. "Ready?" I ask, not wanting to get caught up in her look, especially not in my house and have to put my dress on all over again.

"Ready." she says lightly.

As soon as we get into her car parked outside my house, Ashley jumps at me.

"Do we have to go?" She asks as her mouth is trailing down my neck.

It takes me a moment to compose myself before answering because her hands are bunching up the bottom of my dress slowly. "Yeah." I breathe out.

Ashley makes a grunting noise and starts the car.

The whole ride there I am tapping and wringing my hands nervously.

"Spencer. Don't be nervous. It'll be fine." Ashley reassures me in a calming voice.

"What if they don't like me Ash? What if I make a fool of myself, or what if I don't live up to girlfriend expectation?" I ramble hurriedly.

"They'll love you, okay. How could they not?" She smiles sheepishly, glancing at me. I smile back, my nerves calmed for a moment.

But once we actually get there, they start back up again. There's a good amount of people. I only recognize Ashley's mom and her grandmother. Who I've known for a while. The one thing that I am glad of is that we don't have to hide here. There is nothing to hide, Ashley's aunt is gay and her family doesn't think twice about it.

_That must be so nice_ I think to myself. I think of how different my family is.

Ashley links her fingers with mine; rubbing my hand to tell me it's okay.

"Happy birthday Aunt Macy!" Ashley says animatedly to a middle-aged woman. She has curly brown hair like Ashley and I can't help but think of how similar they look. More so than Ashley and her mom.

"Ashley!" Says her aunt, a smile exploding on her face. They share a hug, which makes my heart swell even more with love for my girlfriend. "And who's this gorgeous girl?" Her aunt says, looking at me with a smile on her face.

Ashley beams at her and then looks at me. "This is my girlfriend Spencer." Her voice has so much excitement and joy in it, I can't help but smile and feel much more comfortable as the butterflies take over.

Aunt Macy envelops me in a tight hug. "You must be special." She says after letting me go.

"She is." Ashley says hastily, still smiling.

"Happy birthday." I tell her, handing her a present.

"Thank you! How sweet are you. I like to think I'm just one year younger." She gives a husky laugh, which I immediately associate with Ashley's.

"Honey, Your boss is here and I think he's drunk." A tall red head says to Aunt Macy as she walks over to us. "Ashley, how are you, staying out of trouble?" She looks at Ashley with a mischievous grin on her face. I like this woman already.

"For now." Ashley chuckles lightly.

The red headed woman kisses Aunt Macy's cheek lightly while grabbing her hand. She has on a pencil skirt and a flowy red top, her bright blue eyes are brought out by the intense red color of her hair.

"Kate, this is Ashley's _girlfriend_, Spencer." Aunt Macy motions her hand my way.

I smile at her. "Hi, nice to meet you."

Kate smiles wide at me. "Jesus Ashley, she's adorable." She says shaking my hand. She gets a little closer to me and whispers in my ear. "You keep my niece here in check." She pulls away and winks at me.

Aunt Macy and Kate leave us to go deal with her boss, who, by his slurred speech and stumbling steps, really is plastered.

"Not so bad, right?" Ashley says to me as she gives my temple a quick kiss. I shake my head and smile at her.

"Are they married?" I ask Ashley as we make our way across the patio to where Ashley's mom is.

"Yup. Last year. Kate is super chill." Ashley tells me.

"Ashley. Where have you been? I can't get this stupid thing to work." Ashley's mom says loudly, standing in front of a grill. "Oh, hi Spencer! I'm glad you came dear. Your mom called me like five bazillion frickin' times."

I laugh lightly. I've known Ashley's mom for a long time and she was overjoyed when Ashley told her about us. She basically considers me one of her own daughters. She always said I kept Ashley in line. Well, as best one can. "Sorry about that, you know my mom…" I trail off. And she does know my mom, and how uptight she is. Ashley's mom is pretty much the opposite.

"Oh I do. Brad! Come here!" She yells suddenly to a guy that looks like he is in his twenties.

"Isn't this just the best family party ever?!" I hear a high-pitched voice from behind me yell in mock enthusiasm.

"Hey Kyla." I say, turning around.

"I hate family gatherings. Did you guys see Aunt Macy's drunk boss?" she says while laughing lightly. She has a drink in her hand and I am willing to bet everything I have that it is spiked.

"Yeah. What a douchebag." Ashley says laughing.

"Spence, you want a drink?" She leans her cup in my direction and raises her eyebrows suggestively.

"No Kyla, you're not getting her drunk here." Ashley says harshly while putting her arm around my waist, pulling me into her protection.

Kyla shrugs. "Have it your way." And with that she walks away.

Ashley's eyes find mine. "Did I tell you yet how pretty you look?"

I smile and hug her to me. "You did. And you look amazing." I whisper.

I kiss her lips very softly and pull away as Ashley smiles and says "Come on, let's go sit down."

As the night progresses, I become increasingly more comfortable. I'm still a tiny bit nervous when I meet person after person and I can't remember who everyone is, but the way Ashley looks at me when she says that I'm her girlfriend makes my nervousness die down.

Ashley's mom really went all out on this party. As it gets later and the sun goes down, the lights, torches, and moonlight replace the light the sun was giving. The white tables and smooth patio make me think that this really _does_ look like a garden party. Not that I've ever been to one or know exactly what it is. But I can imagine.

"Hi Sandy." I say to Spencer's grandmother as I sit down next to her, watching Ashley go talk to her mom for a minute.

"Spencer! How are you dear, I'm sorry you had to come experience this boring party." She says sarcastically. Sandy is funny in that awesome way older people can be. Her words are rough, and even at such an old age she is still as sharp as a tack.

"It's not that bad." I chuckle lightly, taking a sip of my soda.

"To each their own I guess." She shrugs. "You know, I've never seen my granddaughter so happy." She continues. I blush lightly. "She's never wanted to bring anyone to these things. It's about time you two stopped being so dull and got together. I know how much she cares about you."

I smile at her, feeling my heart beat for Ashley at her words. "I care a lot about her too. She's perfect." I say lightly.

Sandy grins. "I think you're the one who makes her that way." She takes a sip of what I'm pretty sure is straight tequila. "She talks nonstop about you whenever I see her. You know I like you Spencer dear, but Jesus sometimes that girl won't shut up about you."

I laugh and almost choke on my soda. "That's good to know." I glance towards the deck where Ashley is standing talking to that Brad guy, who I'm pretty sure is her cousin. "Your granddaughter is an amazing person."

Sandy nods and looks over at Ashley. "Yes, she's also extremely gorgeous. I don't know where she gets it from, I think from Macy. Not her mother." Sandy takes another sip and I snicker lightly.

"Mother! Where are those cookies?!" Ashley's mom yells to Sandy from another table.

"God, it's always something with that woman." She mumbles under her breath and leaves the table.

"So, you enjoying the weirdness of the Davies?" Kyla asks me as she plops down on a chair next to me. It almost falls over and I know Kyla is a bit tipsy.

"I already knew the Davies were weirdos." I laugh at her and meet her eyes.

"Pssshh. Whatever Spence." Kyla gives me a look.

I watch as Ashley walks back towards me, a plate of cake in her hand. The combination of the moonlight and the fire from the torches makes her glow and my eyes won't leave her body.

"Stop drunkenly harassing Spencer." Ashley says to Kyla as she sits down in my lap. I put my arms around her waist, leaning into her warm body. She smells so good I am almost intoxicated by her scent.

"How ya doin' cutie-pie?" She asks me lightly, rubbing my arms up and down, making me tingle.

I smile at her. "Good. This really wasn't that bad."

"My family loves you." Ashley says as she nuzzles the side of my neck with her nose. I try not to moan from pleasure. "Just like I do."

Kyla takes another sip of her drink. "Kyla," Ashley starts, "Uncle Murray already asked me if you were wasted, stop drinking."

Kyla stares at her. "Are you kidding? That's the only way to get through this. Everyone keeps asking me if I have a boyfriend. It's so annoying. And unlike you, I don't have Spencer to show off."

"Too bad for you then." Ashley answers her with a sly grin on her face. "You ready to get out of here?" Ashley asks me softly, pushing some of my hair out of my face. My eyes flutter at her touch.

"Yeah definitely, let's say goodbye to everyone."

"Good." Ashley smiles slyly. "Because as amazing as you look in that dress, I think it would look absolutely fantastic in a pile next to my bed."

My heart beats erratically at just the thought.

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**Reviews make me feel all tingly =)**


	17. Come Right Out And Say It

**Well,**** that was annoying. But I'm glad everything's cool now =)  
I was getting anxious to post haha  
Leave some love for me to come back to after my classes!**

**Ashley's POV**

I'm having this weird ass dream where I am running through the forest at night. Forests are never good. Especially when it's dark out. You know, like in movies. No one ever gets out alive. I think there's a giant teddy bear chasing me. This would be cute if the giant teddy bear didn't have a machete in his paw. One of his eyes is all popped out and there's fluff coming out of the eye socket.

What does this _mean_?

I suddenly wake up right before the devil teddy bear was about to throw the machete at my head. Good thing that ended.

I grunt and roll over, finding the spot next to me on my bed empty. Spencer and I were taking a nap earlier, so I wonder where she is. I really just want to go back to my nap. But I'm scared that teddy bear is going to come after me again.

And I would rather continue my nap with Spencer. She is just so snuggly.

_Don't_ tell anyone I said that.

I yawn a little bit and look at the glowing green numbers on my bed-side table. 5:30 PM. Two and a half hours until we go out to get ice cream with Kyla, Aiden, and surprisingly, Court. For some reason he decided to come. Apparently Aiden asked him.

I roll off my bed and leave my room to go find Spencer. I'm sure my hair is all crazy and wild, but I don't care.

I find Spencer in the kitchen getting a drink. She has on my sweatpants and my slippers. The sweatpants hang low and baggy on her, revealing a strip of smooth skin. I smile to myself as I walk towards her, kind of still half asleep. She looks so damn cute. I just want to drag her back to our nap.

And I intend to do that.

"Watcha doin'?" I ask her as she turns around to face me.

"Drinking chocolate milk." She replies sweetly.

"Come back to our nap." I say while yawning in the middle of my sentence.

Spencer walks towards me and hugs me softly with her arms wrapped around my waist. I let out a content sigh. "Your hair looks _great_, Ash."

"Shut up Spencer." I mumble into her own hair, smelling the delicious orange scent of her shampoo. "I had a bad dream."

Spencer brings a hand up and runs it through my curls. "Oh yeah? Was it the teddy bear again?"

I nod. "Yes." I tell her solemnly.

"You poor baby." Spencer coos at me and smirks.

"It's not funny. It has a _machete_, Spence." I tell her seriously, rubbing my face into her neck.

"That's horrible, Ash." She says softly.

"Mmmhmm." I sigh. I take her hand in mine and drag her back to my room. "Come on."

I feel much better when I pull Spencer closer to me as I lay practically on top of her.

"What do you think the teddy bear _means_?" I ask as I yawn again into her neck.

"Go to sleep Ashley." Spencer mumbles quietly, pulling me closer to her.

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"Do you think it's gunna be weird?" Kyla says sitting on a bench on our front porch.

"Probably. There was some serious awkwardness when Aiden asked him." Spencer says. She's stretched out across another bench with cushions on it.

"I wonder why he said yes. I thought he was avoiding Aiden." Kyla muses.

"I guess he just can't stay away." Spencer replies.

I'm leaning against the railing of the porch, watching for Aiden's car to come pick us up. I doubt Court will be in the car with him, that would just be really awkward.

It's a really nice night out, the kind of night where the sky looks kind of orangey. I turn around to face Spencer and Kyla who are still talking about Aiden and Court. I catch Spencer just as she is stretching, cracking her back. The sweatshirt she is wearing rides up and I see some of her smooth stomach. I groan inwardly as I make myself look away. I am all kinds of turned on after we took that nap. Hell, I am always turned on around Spencer and I'm going to have to control myself when we go out.

Stupid ice cream.

"Geez, where the fuck is he?" I breathe out with annoyance. Aiden was supposed to be here twenty-five minutes ago.

Just as I finish my sentence I see headlights lighting up the road and Aiden honks his horn obnoxiously as he pulls into the driveway.

"Jesus Aiden, you didn't have to honk like an ass, we were right outside." Kyla says angrily to him as she gets in the passenger seat.

"Sorry." Aiden says cheerily as he backs up. "Sorry I was late, I couldn't figure out what to wear."

I hear Kyla snort with laughter.

"Are you nervous?" Spencer asks him from next to me.

"Extremely. I can't believe he even _agreed_ to come." Aiden says as he makes a left turn.

As soon as we get to the ice cream place, I see that there are a lot of people there.

"Shit, are they giving the ice cream away?" Kyla says as we make our way through the crowd and to the counter. Aiden keeps turning his head around in all directions to try and spot Court. It doesn't seem like he's here yet, which is weird because we're forty-five minutes late from meeting time.

"He's not gunna come." Aiden say as he looks down at the flavors. I can see the frown on his face becoming more prominent after every second. "I'm so _stupid_, why would I even think he'd show."

"He could just be late." Spencer tries to console him, but she gives me a worried glance.

"Yeah, righ-" He starts to say but is cut off.

"Hey guys. Sorry I'm pretty late." Court says as he walks up to us, standing on the outside of our circle.

Aiden's head snaps in Court's direction and the frown starts to slip away. "That's alright, we just got here." Kyla says to him as she tells the girl behind the counter she wants a milkshake.

"Oh good." Court says, leaving his eyes on everyone's but Aiden's.

"I was starting to think you might not show up." Aiden says quietly. And I'm kind of surprised because that's the kind of thing you think but don't say.

I remove myself from Kyla, Aiden, and Court and go over to where Spencer is standing, looking at the flavors like a little kid in a toy store. I brush up against her inconspicuously.

"What are you getting?" I ask her, my face close to hers.

She turns and smiles at me. "Chocolate."

"Don't think you've had enough chocolate for one day with all that chocolate milk?" I ask her as I laugh and pull out my wallet.

"Um. Nope." She chuckles. "Ash, no." She says as I am giving the girl money for both of our ice creams.

"I got it Spence."

"But you _always_ get it. I'm paying the next five times." She says in a stern voice that just sounds adorable.

I chuckle lightly and give her the chocolate cone. "No way. I like paying for you. And if you really want to repay me, you can do it in sexual favors." I raise my eyebrow.

Spencer grins at me. "I love you." She says tenderly.

And I'm surprised. Because although I know we love each other, we don't always say it. At least not in everyday conversation. Sometimes there's just no need to when you absolutely know it. And there is something about her voice that makes me totally melt inside and my brain can't think straight.

Well, my brain can never think _straight_.

I gaze into her eyes, feeling oddly mesmerized in this crowded shop.

"I love you too." I tell her honestly. My fluttering heart brings my hand up to her face and I lightly brush my thumb across her lips.

"Come on, let's go outside. There's nowhere to sit here." Aiden says bringing me out of my world where there is only Spencer.

"Alright." I say and head outside.

We find a table to sit down at and I watch Aiden and Court talk nervously to each other. It's kind of cute, I guess.

I feel Spencer's hand find mine and intertwine our fingers together.

I spot a bunch of Aiden's basketball friends a couple of tables down, and I smell trouble. Like clockwork, a couple of meatheads come over to our table and Aiden looks up, distress written all over his face.

"Yo Aiden, what are doing with gay boy here?" One asshole says, I think his name is Brian.

I see Court roll his eyes trying to seem like he's unaffected. I know better. I know what that feels like. Nobody really says anything, except Kyla scoffing at them.

"Seriously, don't you have some fairy-costume to go try on?" The kid says, motioning to Court.

Before anyone can even say anything or hit anyone, as I was very much intending to do, Aiden's voice comes out loud and rough.

"Hey, shut the fuck up man. Don't talk to him like that." Aiden says staring daggers at the kid. Court's head whips to the side in surprise, as does everyone elses.

"Whoa, what's your problem Aiden?" the Brian kids says.

Aiden stands up straight, significantly taller than Brian at least by a head. "You're my problem asswipe."

"Whatever man, why are you hanging out with some homo?" One of the other guys says with venom in his voice.

Aiden steps a little closer to them. He's all red and looks like he's going to burst. "You have a problem with gay people? Some of my best friends are gay, and hey!" Aiden raises his hands in the air. "What the hell, so am I! So you can go _fuck_ yourselves. All of you." His chest is puffing in and out with every breath he takes and I can see the fear all over the guys' faces. After a second or two they all walk away, mumbling "asshole" as they leave.

Aiden sits down and no one says anything. Court is not smiling, but he's looking very intently at Aiden, his eyes kind of wide open. Kyla is smirking, like usual, looking between the both of them.

Aiden clears his throat. "Well, that was fun." He says evenly.

"Yeah, thanks for basically outing me, Aiden." Spencer laughs playfully.

"Oh come on Spencer." Aiden chuckles. "You're basically sitting on top of Ashley. Anyway, do you really care?"

Spencer smiles and glances at me. "Not at all." She says and I squeeze her hand tighter.

"That kid looked like he was about to piss his pants." Court says, laughing. Aiden just shrugs and smiles at him.

I see Court lightly touch Aiden's hand and they share a look. You know, _a look_. I smile and turn away.

I'm happy about that and all, and I'm having a good time, but I need to go home soon with Spencer. Watching her lick that ice cream cone is doing weird things to me. I am jealous of that ice cream, it gets to be licked by Spencer. _Fuck_, I want to be that ice cream right now.

"What?" Spencer says, because she can probably feel me staring at her.

"Uh.." I say, trying to make my mind work.

I'm failing.

"I, uh, you have some ice cream on your lip." I say and point to it.

Spencer smirks and leans into me further and surprises me by kissing me. The coldness of the ice cream on her lips combined with the warmness of her body leaning into mine makes me moan quietly into her mouth. I want her so badly right now. I lick the ice cream off her lips and then bite her bottom one softly.

Spencer pulls away and even in the night I can see her dark, lidded eyes.

"Okay, let's get out of here." Aiden says, glancing back at the table of guys he scared away earlier.

"I think I'm gunna stay. I see some girls from dance." Kyla says, throwing her milkshake in the garbage.

Spencer gives Kyla a hug and she walks over to some girls I know she hangs out with sometimes.

"Do you want a ride?" Aiden asks Court lightly as we start to head towards the parking lot.

Court nods with a smile on his face. "That'd be great."

"You're coming over." I say to Spencer as I drag her towards the car.

"Is that a demand?" She chuckles, her voice just a little bit deeper.

I grin at her. "You know it baby. "


	18. Connect The Dots

**=P  
P.S. **chismes**, your review made me smile like an idiot for like 10 minutes haha **

**Ashley's POV**

During the whole time in the backseat of Aiden's car, it takes everything I have not to tear off all of Spencer's clothes right then and there.

We are basically both sitting on one side of the car. And we are basically breaking that law that says something about seatbelts. Oh, to wear them. But a seatbelt is only a device to restrain me from touching Spencer, so that is a no go.

My mouth is burning on her neck as her hands are gripped in my hair. I am biting and licking all parts of her neck and I hear Spencer let out one small moan after another, which just spurs me on even more so.

"I want you so bad." I whisper hotly into her ear just before I suck on her earlobe. She tastes all kinds of sweet and delicious and I am just never satisfied.

"Can't you two refrain from groping for five minutes while we drive home?" Aiden says from the driver's seat with a trace of annoyance in his voice.

Who was he to talk? Court's hand had been on his thigh the whole ride home. But I guess Spencer's wandering hand over my shirt is a little more raunchier than that. Whatever.

"Leave them be Aid." Court laughs lightly from next to him.

I'm glad those two are getting along again, but they are not what is on my mind right now.

Spencer's hand finds my chest over my t-shirt and is now massaging lightly as my mouth finds hers once again. I bite her bottom lip roughly and then kiss it better. My hands are in her sweatshirt, rubbing her stomach gently. I want nothing more than to just rip off that sweatshirt, which is mine, and her tank top. Seeing her with my sweatshirt on turns me on insanely. I kind of hope that she can smell me on it just like I can smell her on my sheets and on my pillows whenever she stays in my room.

My hands find their way to Spencer's waist and then they start to massage her jean-covered thighs up and down.

"Ash." She breathes out. Her voice is all deep and ragged. All kinds of sexy and I don't know how much longer I can wait.

I have never wanted anyone this badly before. Sure, there's been girls that I had found hot and sexy. Girls that I've been with. That was all lust. With Spencer, I have never felt the need to have my hands on someone at all times. With her, it mostly definitely is lust, but it is lust layered with adoration and complete love and that is what makes it so greatly different. I've never found someone so totally gorgeous, that I can't stop looking at her.

I take my mouth away from hers for a few seconds to look into her eyes. They are now a dark shade of midnight blue and I would bet one million dollars that mine probably look black. The way she is looking at me, eyes glancing at lips, and down my body to be met back a minute later with mine, drives me crazy.

The car finally stops in front of my house and I mumble a rushed goodbye to Aiden and Court as Spencer drags me by my hand out of the car and up the driveway.

I look for my key as I get to the door. Then I feel Spencer's hands slide into the back pockets of my pants as her body presses up against my back. I let out a disgruntled moaning noise at my inability to open the door faster. My keys are fumbling in my hands as I feel her press her lips to the side of my neck.

"Come on Ash." Spencer says quietly into my neck, knowing exactly that her hands on me are making it hard to concentrate.

"It's hard to- think. When your hands, hands are on my ass, _Spencer_." I moan out in protest as her hands move softly up and down inside my pockets, rubbing my ass lightly.

I hear myself whimper from pleasure.

Having someone put their hands in your back pockets is _the_ sexiest thing.

I finally get this fucking door open and pull us both through it. I slam the door shut, hoping no one is in the living room as I push Spencer roughly up against the closed door. I kiss her hard and her tongue traces my lips fully and is immediately let in.

She is _always _welcome.

I grunt inside her mouth as I kiss her more deeply. My hand moves to her waist and it doesn't take much strength to lift her up and have her legs wrap around my waist. I push my lower body against her to try and relieve some tension. My hands hold her up by her ass as I scrape them against the cool material of her pants.

"Fuck. Upstairs. Now." Spencer mutters against my lips, her hands clawing at my back.

I smile widely into her kiss. Only a very turned on, horny Spencer Carlin curses. Something happens to her whenever she curses in a heated moment. It is a whole other side of Spencer, one that is insanely hot.

We stumble up the stairs not wanting to let go of each other's mouths. My fingers are already unzipping the sweatshirt she is wearing and it gets lost somewhere behind us on our way to my room. My back is pushed against my door as I try to open it. Spencer is working her hands under my t-shirt, on my stomach, and on my chest. After a few moments I realize that the door to my bedroom is locked.

"Open it." Spencer pants as she kisses me hard, her hands lifting my shirt up and over my head. My tongue flicks hers.

"It's locked." I try to say evenly, but it doesn't work.

I have no idea why my door would be locked, but right now I don't give a shit about it because Spencer is placing wet, open-mouthed kisses down my neck and into my heaving chest.

I pull her lower body closer to me by her belt loops, moving my leg in between hers, where it belongs. I feel her press hard against me repeatedly and I moan roughly in response. My fingers find their own trail inside of the waistband of her pants, moving further and further down.

I move us from against my door to the first door I can find, to get inside a room. Any room. As I open the next door, Spencer unbuttons and unzips my pants in one swift motion, which makes me propel us through the door.

We find ourselves in the bathroom. I was hoping for a bed, but this is turning out to be way better. We've never done it in the bathroom.

That is obviously not going to be true for long.

Suddenly, we are both shed of all our clothes and in the shower. We are still all over each other and the water is not even on. Spencer pushes me gently away for a second to get the hot water going. I growl at the sight of the water hitting her and I suction back to her. Spencer gasps when the cold tiles hit her back as I trap her tightly between the wall and my body. So every part of our bodies is touching the other. Her naked body against me alone is enough to put me over the edge. I lower my head as she arches into me and kiss all around her chest and breast, ignoring the one place we both want me to kiss the most.

"Jesus Ashley." Spencer moans. Her moans cease my teasing as I take her nipple in my mouth and flick it with my tongue. Bite it gently with my teeth.

I let my tongue trail up her chest, up her neck, onto her lips, and land at her ear as she is panting heavily. "Shit, you taste so good Spence." I purr into her ear as I give it a sloppy kiss and find my way back to her mouth. My hand travels down her stomach to her center and when I reach my destination Spencer bites my shoulder hard. I am just basically breathing roughly into her mouth as my fingers move hard in her.

I know Spencer is close when she tilts her head back and breathes out "_Fuck _me" jaggedly.

All sounds of pleasure and lust from then on are jumbled together. I don't know who makes what sound, I just know that Spencer makes me feel things everywhere. _Everywhere_.

Tingly things.

Heated things.

Bursting things.

All over my body.

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I kiss the underside of her chin softly.

My bedroom door was mysteriously open when Spencer and I got out of the shower. I was too exhausted to play Sherlock Holmes and uncover what was going on so I just grab us some t-shirts and boxers and curl up in bed with my girl.

My head rests on her chest and I feel it moving up and down with her breathing. I hear her heart beating. It is my favorite sound in the entire world.

I wrap my arms more securely around her form and sigh audibly.

"I love that you're mine." Spencer says gently to me and she strokes the small of my back, sending shivers up and down my spine.

"And I love you." I tell her honestly as I kiss her chin again.

I want nothing more than to just give her everything I have. Give her everything I am. Because I know in some way everything I give will be returned to me. I want to give her all that I am because it's not mine anymore. Every part of me belongs to her and I would want no one else to have it.

To be a fool in love is a scary thing. It's pretty terrifying. I would never have wanted to be so vulnerable to someone. That kind of thing made me nervous before. To have someone see you so desperately need them like that. It might be a stupid concept in theory. But it feels all kinds of right.

I'm so stupid.

I'm such a stupid fool in love.

And it's alright.

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I wait anxiously for Spencer to get out of the library and come to the picnic table for lunch. My leg is jumping up and down from all the caffeine I have just inhaled in the last half an hour.

"Geez, would you calm down, I'm getting anxious just _looking_ at you." Chelsea says while she dips her spoon in her yogurt.

I turn to face her across the table. "Sorry, I, uh, had a lot of coffee this morning."

Chelsea chuckles lightly and looks at me pointedly. "That, and you obviously can't function without Spencer here."

That's correct.

"Ha ha. She's alright, I guess." I say mocking boredom. I see Chelsea snicker as her eyes are focused on the air behind me.

"_Alright, you guess_? Wonderful." Spencer's voice floats through my ears, kind of like a flute. That comparison is kind of cheesy but I don't care. I always thought flutes were kind of a stupid instrument. But now I love them.

I feel Spencer's hands go to my shoulders, lightly massaging them. I tingle. And my leg stops shaking.

"I _am_ wonderful." I sing into the air. I hear Spencer laugh lightly near my ear. Her soft arms go around my neck and my hands go behind me, holding the back of her thighs in place. Softly rubbing them. Her front feels so good pressed up against my back.

I'm sure the goofy smile on my face gives Chelsea the ammunition to shoot her next comment. "If you guys don't stop being so frickin' cute, then I will most likely throw up this yogurt all over the both of you." She says with slight conviction, although her rough tone is buried beneath the smile she's giving us.

"Thanks Chelsea." Spencer says laughing.

"What are you guys doing tonight, I think I'm gunna have some people over to watch movies and order some food." She asks Spencer and I as she flips through a notebook in front of her.

"Yeah that sounds cool." Comes my answer. I am trying not to get ahead of myself while touching the back of Spencer's legs. Because even if she involuntarily moans or if my hands reach too high or if she brushes up against me harder, I know I will be resorted to dragging her off to the bathroom. Or to a corner of book stacks in the library.

"Sweet. I want you guys to meet someone anyway." Chelsea says, eating more yogurt.

"Oooh, a _girl_?" I ask, intrigued.

Chelsea looks up from her yogurt and snorts loudly. "Yes, a girl. But not _that_ kind of girl." She laughs out.

I hear Spencer's cute chuckle from behind me. "You sure, Chels?" She asks.

Chelsea looks between the both of us. "I'm sure Spencer. Half of our friends are already gay, I have to keep the balance. Anyway, I'm gunna go find Kyla and see if she's still coming. She said something about a shoe sale that was conflicting her decision." Chelsea rolls her eyes. "See you guys later." Chelsea says, gathers her stuff and walks out into the quad.

I turn around in Spencer's embrace so she is now standing in between my legs.

"You think Chelsea leans our way?" I ponder to her.

Spencer tucks a curl behind my ear before she straightens out the collar of my polo. I love moments like these. Where she'll find any excuse just to touch me. And I love when she plays with pieces of my clothing, almost as much as I love when she removes pieces of my clothing. It makes my heart pound hard with love.

"Nah. I don't think so. She likes the penis." Spencer says nonchalantly.

I open my mouth in mock surprise and bring her closer to me by tugging at her shirt. Her fingers graze my neck as she continues to play with my collar. "_Spencer_, don't say bad things like that." I mumble this to her giggling face.

Her fingers unbutton one of the buttons on my polo and her hand slides inconspicuously in, touching my collarbone. "Whatever, Davies." She whispers against my cheek before she kisses it. She starts to walk away from me right when the bell rings.

And I follow after her like a little puppy.

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**Note: I really suggest giving a listen to the song Connect The Dots by The Spill Canvas. It's seriously sensual in that push-you-up-against-a-wall way. Which, I think, is one of the very best**** ways. Talk Show Host by Radiohead is kind of similar. Oh, and now that I'm thinking about sexy songs, I might as well mention Evidence by Marilyn Manson. I probably won't ever name a chapter that because it doesn't really fit. But that song is sexy in a much rougher way. I mean if you like Marilyn Manson, which I very much do. Anyway, that's my tangent. Have a good day!**


	19. Everyone Knows Everyone

**Spencer's POV**

I'm staring into space out, sitting on Chelsea's couch waiting for her and Ashley to come back from the kitchen. And I'm having problems.

Serious problems.

Recently, every time I go somewhere I immediately wonder what it would be like to have sex with Ashley in that area. In the health food aisle at the grocery store. I kept picturing it on one of those beds in a department store. In the waiting room at the dentist office. When I was in the office at school, all I was thinking about was what it would be like to just push off all the papers from the front desk and have her there.

_Serious_ problems.

And now I am picturing it on the coffee table in front of me, where my feet are propped up. When did I become this sex-crazed girl? I guess Ashley Davies will do that to a person.

I am brought out of my fantasies when I hear bickering coming from the kitchen and then I smell smoke. I'm guessing Ashley burned the popcorn.

"Ashley!" I hear Chelsea yell. And then Ashley's husky voice mumbles something loudly but I can't make it out.

Chelsea stomps out of the kitchen and into the living room with a burnt bag of popcorn in her hand. "Look what your girlfriend did." She says, all pissed off, waving the bag in front of me.

Ashley trudges out of the kitchen. "I didn't do it."

I turn my head to face her and prop my eyebrow up.

Chelsea stomps over to her and throws the bag at Ashley. "Yes you did!"

"Look," Ashley starts, "I pressed the button that said _popcorn_, and this is what happened. It's not my fault your microwave _obviously_ doesn't know what it's doing." She finishes, her forehead crinkled. She looks adorable.

I start to snicker loudly and Chelsea glares at me. "You guys suck." She says and walks back into the kitchen.

I watch Ashley walk over to me and plop down next to me, her arm immediately going around my shoulder. She's smirking.

"You shouldn't be smirking, Ash." I tell her with a slight smile on my own face.

"I didn't do it on _purpose_." She answers.

"Uh huh."

"What? You don't believe me." Ashley says grinning slyly as she starts to push my shoulders down onto the couch. Her face hovers above mine as she says "You're supposed to believe your own girlfriend, _Spencer_."

My thoughts about the coffee table are quickly coming back to me as she starts to kiss me so lightly it's excruciating. I try to rise up to meet her more but she keeps me pushed down.

"Aaaash." I moan out slightly frustrated.

She grins evily at me. "What do you want Spence?"

I look at her looking at me. Her hair flowing. Plump lips. Her on top of me. "I want you on that coffee table." Comes out of my mouth before I even realize I say it. I feel myself blushing immensely.

I _cannot_ believe I just said that out loud.

Ashley keeps staring at me and her eyes are so incredibly dark. She bites the side of her lip and I hear a growling sound come deep from within her throat.

We're pulled out of alternate universe when the door busts open, revealing a Kyla with five too many shopping bags.

Ashley gets off of me mumbling "Bitch" at Kyla, and I make an angry noise at the interruption.

"What the fuck is that smell?' Kyla asks, placing her bags down on the table.

"Ash burnt the popcorn." Chelsea's voice comes harshly from the kitchen. Then she returns with fresh, un-burnt food.

Kyla glances at Ashley next to me and smirks. "Good job." Kyla sits down on the recliner.

"So what, Ky, did you buy the whole fucking store?" Ashley asks her in a harsh tone.

"_No._" she says defensively, pulling out a box from one of many bags. She opens a shoe box. "These are my fuck-me boots." Kyla then pulls out a scarf. "This is my you-wish scarf."

"It's hot outside Kyla, you're really gunna wear a scarf?" I ask her as I laugh at her.

Kyla ignores my question. She holds up a vest. "This is my don't-you-want-to-tear-this-off-me vest."

I can't help but snort loudly. "Geez, the Davies really do have the same egotistical traits."

Both Kyla and Ashley give me a look.

"No, she's right." Chelsea smirks.

"Anyway, where's this girl?" Kyla says, putting away all of her clothes that all have some kind of special purpose.

"She should be here soon." Chelsea says, stuffing a handful of popcorn in her mouth.

"Who's this random-ass girl again?" Ashley asks, lacing her fingers with mine.

Chelsea chews and swallows before she speaks. "I met her at school, I think she's new so I thought I'd invite her over, her name's-" But the doorbell ringing drowns out any more conversation.

Chelsea opens the door and lets the girl inside.

"What the _fuck_?" Ashley mutters just a bit too loudly when she sees Robin.

The Robin from the movie theater. The Robin I failed to call.

Ashley immediately looks at me, probably taking in my wide eyes with shock, and then back at Robin and then to Chelsea.

"Oh shit, this won't be awkward." Kyla says to us as Chelsea and Robin walk over.

I meet Robin's eyes for a second and I see them go wide with shock and surprise, but then she starts to smirk. She looks at Kyla, and then glances back to me and Ashley. Ashley grips her fingers around my own tightly. Very tightly and I feel her move closer to me just a tiny bit.

"Well this is interesting." Robin finally says, her eyes darting around. Then they rest on Ashley and I and I see her register the situation.

"Guys, this is-" Chelsea starts to say animatedly, but Kyla cuts her off.

"Robin." Kyla finishes. "Yeah, we know." Kyla looks kind of amused at this ironic situation.

"What?" Chelsea asks, looking around at all of us. "How? You guys know each other already?" She seems extremely confused.

"Partially." Robin says, still standing. I feel like she would be more nervous with four people all staring at her in this weird situation. But she looks completely relaxed.

"Oh." Chelsea says, looking around at us.

"Yeah, we met at the movies a while ago. Before-" Kyla says but is cut off harshly by Ashley.

"Before me and Spencer were _together_." Ashley says, adding serious emphasis to the word together.

"Oh. Right. Well." Chelsea stutters. And I am sure she is remembering the story she was told about the girl who hit on me, putting the pieces together. "Well, that's cool then. Um, Robin have a seat." She smiles at her. Robin takes a seat on the other couch.

"You go to King High? Interesting, I've never seen you." Ashley says, intently looking at Robin.

Robin brushes some stray red hair out of her eyes and looks back at Ashley "Yeah, I just transferred actually. The other day."

Ashley glares at her. "Ah, what a coinkey-dink."

Robin looks at Ashley weirdly. "Right."

"So," Kyla interjects loudly, "You still gay?"

"Kyla!?" Chelsea exclaims, shooting her a nasty glare.

But Robin was exposed to Kyla's comments once before and does not seem phased by it. "Yeah. You still _not so much_?"

Kyla looks at her and says "Yup.

The rest of the afternoon goes on like this: Kyla commenting on things in a witty tone and Robin successfully keeping up with her banter, all the while watching me and Ashley. Chelsea looking like she wants to kill both Kyla and Ashley for saying weird things to Robin. Ashley continually squeezing my hand and pulling me closer to her. And me not really saying much, just watching this weird scenario unfold before my eyes.

Somewhere along the line, Robin and I are left alone in the living room.

"I kinda thought you'd call." Robin says, directing her gaze to my eyes.

This is the first time we've spoken directly to each other. Her voice is softer than it has been so far.

"Robin," I start, "I'm sorry, it's just…" I trail off as I glance slightly to the bathroom where Ashley went.

"No, don't be. I get it. The girl you loved, loves you back. I've been there. It's understandable." Robin says with a slight smile on her face.

I thank her with my eyes for being so cool. "Yeah." I chuckle a little bit.

"I had a feeling there was something going on there." Robin shrugs. "I guess I was just too late."

"Sorry." I tell her with honest sympathy in my voice. Because the truth is, if I were not totally and ridiculously in love with Ashley, I would have gone out with Robin.

She waves her hand, like it's no big deal. "I mean, we could be friends though, right?" she says.

I laugh. "Of course."

"Bet your girlfriend won't be too happy about that after she knows I was hitting on you." Robin mutters just loud enough for me to hear. I laugh and so does she. "But I promise," she puts her hands up feigning innocence, "no hitting on you."

"You got yourself a deal." I say as I stick my hand out for her to shake it. Robin laughs lightly.

"So, how's Aiden?" Robin says into the air just as Chelsea and Kyla walk back in from the kitchen.

"Ugh." Chelsea exaggerates as she sits down next to Kyla.

Ashley comes back into the living room and as she walks towards me I smile and watch her body come closer. Robin's cute, but Jesus Christ Ashley is all kinds of hot. She puts her arm around my shoulders as she settles down and gives Robin an unnecessary smirk. Ashley's hand moves to the back of my neck and she rubs the skin there as she talks. I lean my head back trying not to moan at the sensation of her fingers on my skin. I guess Ashley notices I am enjoying this because she kisses my cheek gently.

"They're kind of grossly cute sometimes." Chelsea says to Robin as Kyla laughs.

"Shut up Chelsea." Ashley says to her.

"So, do you have a girlfriend Robin?" Kyla asks her lightly. Chelsea rolls her eyes, giving up on controlling Kyla.

"No, I'm unattached at the moment. But I like it that way sometimes." Robin says breezily. Obviously not affected by Kyla's words or Ashley's actions. Either that or she's really good at hiding her discomfort. "Where's your boyfriend?" She asks Kyla, a smirk on her lips.

I see Chelsea try not to grin at Robin's stab at Kyla. "I'm unattached at the moment. But I _like it that way_ sometimes." Kyla says mimicking Robin's earlier words.

After what I would like to call "The Afternoon of Awkwardness" we all say our goodbyes and head out of Chelsea's house. Again, Robin catches me on my own for a second and says she hopes that she didn't make me feel weird. I tell her no, I'm fine. Which is true. Because as long as I have Ashley, I am fine. She says she's holding me to the being friends thing and I promise her we'll get coffee one day. Honestly, Robin is fun so there is no reason to not be friends with her. I think after seeing me with Ashley, any kind if like she had for me that way was gone.

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"That was weird." Ashley says to me as I walk towards her leaning against her car.

"I can't believe it was her." I say as I put my arms around Ashley's neck. I love resting my face there, it's so comforting and when Ashley circles my waist with her arms, I feel even better.

"You're mine." Ashley whispers in a low, protective but strong voice. She hugs me a bit tighter to her body so we're flush against each other. I hear Ashley sigh contently.

"I am." I reassure her right before I kiss her cheek softly.

Ashley's fingers dip under my shirt and graze the flesh of my lower back. I cup her cheek in my hand and kiss her lips. She sucks on my lower lip for a second before biting it.

"Come on," Ashley whispers in my ear, "I have a coffee table at my house."


	20. Fire It Up

**Thanks for all the reviews! Hope you all like this chapter =)  
Thanks everyone for reading and reviewing, I adore you all.  
Leave some loooove. **

**Spencer's POV**

"So after that, she broke up with me in a text message. A _text message_." Robin says with slight anger in her voice as she sips her coffee.

"A text message? Geez." I respond, cupping my Vanilla Latte in my hands. "What did you do?"

Robin starts to play with the cardboard of her own cup. "I went over to her house but she wouldn't talk to me. I know, I know I made a mistake. I apologized a million times, told her it would never happen again. I know I deserved to be dumped, but not in a text message."

"Man, I'm sorry Robin." I say with sincerity. "Honestly, if you cheated on me I would have killed you. But I would have liked to break up with you in person. Just to yell."

Robin chuckles lightly, her eyes glowing. "Fair point." She takes another sip of her coffee. "That was _the_ biggest mistake I ever made." She says afterwards with regret lacing her even voice.

"Things happen." I tell her. "I'd still kill you though." I laugh, trying to make her feel more comfortable.

Robin smiles. "Yeah, I would never have cheated on you though."

I chuckle, meeting her eyes. "_Thanks_." I say sarcastically.

"So let me ask you a question Spencer." She says. I nod for her to continue. "If you weren't ridiculously in love with Ashley, would you have called me?"

My eyes search around the room, trying to find the answer to that question. Maybe the answer is in the comfy couches around the café. Or in the paintings on the walls. I saw it coming, I won't lie. It was easy to get along with Robin, and hanging out with her was nice.

"Probably, yeah." I say truthfully, finding her eyes. Robin nods a little bit and smiles slightly.

"Damn." Robin chuckles. "Oh well. The same thing happened to me, you know, with Grace. We spent all that time being friends, not knowing the other one felt more. But it was absolutely amazing while it lasted. I just wish I hadn't screwed it up so bad."

I nod. "Yeah, it really is amazing. I can't even remember how I managed without being with her." I grin to myself, thinking of Ashley.

Robin leans back in her chair. "How pissed is she that you're hanging out with me? I saw how protective of you she was the other day."

My heart thumps guiltily in my chest and a slight frown forms on my face. I didn't tell Ashley I was getting coffee with Robin. It's not like I purposely avoided it. When Robin called me I was already about to go out with my mom. So Robin's call was a welcome get-out-of-jail-free card from that likely disaster.

"Um, she doesn't know actually." I say and Robin raises her eyebrow. "I mean, I was already heading out when you called. But if Ashley comes after you with some kind of sharp weapon, I'm not holding myself responsible."

Robin laughs deeply. "Oh man. Let's hope _that_ doesn't happen."

I take a sip of my coffee and smile at her. "Yeah, I hope for _you_."

"So, another question." Robin pauses. "Is Kyla gay?" She asks with some trepidation in her voice.

I cock my eyebrow up at her and smirk. "No, definitely not to my knowledge." Robin nods. "Why?" I ask her slowly.

Robin blushes just a tiny bit and I wait for her answer. "Cause she's hot, alright? And I know she plays those little word games and I like to think I do a pretty good job of keeping up. But sometimes I can't tell when she's lying." Robin rushes out and chuckles nervously when she's done.

"You- you think Kyla's hot?" I ask slowly, a smirk forming on my face once again.

"Yeah, have you _seen_ the girl? It's kind of a shame." Robin says. "Don't you dare tell her I said that though, Spencer." She adds quickly.

I laugh hard. "I promise."

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When I get home a little later, Ashley is waiting outside my house. She's sitting on a bench calmly tapping her leg up and down. The slight breeze is blowing her hair around a little bit.

"Hey cutie." She says with a smile on her face as I walk up to her. "Where have you been? Paula said you went out, I thought you had to do your mother-daughter thing with her." Ashley smirks at the thought, probably glad she never has to do that.

"Oh, I, uh, went to get coffee with Robin." I tell her honestly.

Ashley's smirk fades. "What." She deadpans.

I search her face and I see anger slowly starting to creep through.

"I- she called me to hang out, so we got coffee, is that alright?" I ask her. She can't seriously get mad at me for hanging out with Robin, can she?

"No!" Ashley exclaims, throwing her hands in the air.

Apparently, she can.

"What do you mean, no?" I ask her, my voice a little sterner.

"_Robin_ hit on you Spencer. She like, likes you. Why would you hang out with her?!" Ashley's face is all red now.

"I know she hit on me, _Ashley_. But she knows I'm with _you_. It's not like she was gunna do anything about it, she wouldn't." I say loudly, a little angry myself now. I should be able to hang out with who ever I want.

Ashley scoffs roughly. "Yeah, right. How naïve are you, _Spencer_."

"Hey!" I yell louder than I want to. "She knows how I feel about you and how I see her as _only_a friend. I'm not naïve. I'm perfectly aware."

"You can't hang out with her." Ashley spits out quickly, disregarding everything I just said.

My heart starts to beat faster and I feel myself getting seriously pissed off. Adrenaline pumping in my ears. I was just about to tell her how Robin likes Kyla, but that thought is totally lost when she says I can't hang out with Robin.

"Excuse me?" I say roughly to her.

"You heard me." Ashley says slowly, her eyebrows scrunched together, eyes narrowed.

"I can hang out with _whoever_ the hell I want to. You can't tell me not to hang out with her." I say loudly.

"I think I just did." Ashley says in a low voice. Obviously trying to control herself from yelling.

I glare hard at her. "Well, I don't _care_."

"You fuckin' should! I don't go around hanging out with girls who have hit on me or girls I have hit on, because if I remember correctly, _Spencer_, you didn't really push her away." Ashley yells angrily, her voice getting louder by the second.

"Like you could fit all _those_ girls in one room." I yell back, my chest heaving up and down from the adrenaline coursing through me.

Ashley's eyes go wide and I think mine do too. I didn't mean to say that. I didn't think. That was bad.

"I can't believe you just _fucking_ said that." Ashley says through gritted teeth. Her eyes have a mixture of anger and hurt in them. It's the hurt that makes me wish I had never said that.

"Ash, I'm sor-" I start.

"Whatever Spencer." Ashley says and walks away from me.

My nerves are too hyped up to go after her and then she's gone, driving fast down the street and away from me. Her car gets smaller and smaller in the distance and then she's gone. Leaving a trail of L.A. humidity and anger in her wake.

"Shit." I mutter to myself.

This is the first fight that me and Ashley have ever had as a couple. We've fought before as friends, but I can truthfully say this is way worse than every other fight combined. The thing that angers me is that it is such a stupid fight. Over Robin? I don't care about _her_. This fight is not even worth having, but here I am. Sitting in my room with my heart pounding painfully in my chest. I am trying to calm my breathing down but it's not working.

I know I shouldn't have said that, it was so out of line. Bringing up her past is something I vowed never to do, even when we weren't together. I feel like crap for saying those words. Because that Ashley is long gone, I know that for a fact.

I know that's not the real Ashley. Not the Ashley that I am in love with.

What I said was like a sucker-punch to the gut, totally unfair.

I don't like this whole fighting thing. As hard as I try to, I can't stop thinking about it. And I can't sleep. I went to bed at eleven and at four thirty in the morning I am still wide-awake. I _never_ go to bed without talking to her. Ever.

_I hate this_ I think to myself.

A half an hour later I decide to just sneak out and go to her house. I don't know what I'll say or what she'll say. But that is the only thing I can think of to do. And it's partially selfish, yes. Because I need to see her.

As I am unlatching my window and getting ready to climb out my body collides with something jumping through the same window.

I fall back hard onto my wood floor with a clumsy Ashley landing on top of me. I grab the back of my head and squeeze my eyes shut. That hurt.

"Shit, Spence, I'm sorry." Ashley mumbles as I open my eyes. For being mad at me, she still hasn't gotten off from on top of me. And even though I'm still mad at her too, I can't stop thinking about how insanely good her body feels on top of mine.

She finally gets up and I push myself up from the floor.

"What the hell Ashley? It's five o' clock in the morning." I say, my hand massaging my banged head.

Even though it's a little dark, I see her eyes narrow at me. "Yeah, well you were doing the same thing, correct?" She says, crossing her arms over her chest.

_Stop thinking she looks sexy when she's mad_.

"Whatever." I mumble.

We're both quiet for a minute or two. It's not awkward quiet. It's just plain quiet. Which in some way is kind of worse. I can't take this anymore, so I speak first, which I know she's waiting for.

"Look, I'm sorry Ash, that I said that. It was horrible, and you didn't deserve to have that thrown at you." I tell her honestly.

"No, I didn't. But it's okay, I know you didn't me-" She says but I cut her off, because I can hear that tone in her voice. The one that tells me that she thinks she has won this fight.

"_But_," I continue, surprising her by interrupting her, "I'm not sorry for anything else. Well, I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was hanging out with Robin, okay? But you cannot tell me not to see a friend." I finish sternly.

Ashley takes a step closer to me so that she's right in front of me now. She slowly drags her eyes up and down my body. And I remember I'm only wearing a tight white tank top and short shorts. I see her swallow.

"Fine. But I don't like it." She says so low it's almost like a growl. And I'm mad at myself because I should still be mad at her but I'm too busy being turned on by her voice.

"Well, you're gunna have to get used to it." I say roughly and my breath catches as I feel her warm hand rub my stomach softly as it sneaks under my tank top. Her fingers are making shapes on my skin, and I am getting hotter by the second.

I fight to keep my eyes open and my breathing in check and steady. I bite my lip.

"I _don't_ want her touching you." Ashley says in that growl again, a little more roughly and loudly. She is all over my personal space. Inches away from me. And her angry tone is so incredibly sexy I almost moan for no reason at all.

And then before I can speak she pushes me on my bed so I am pinned on my back, her hands holding my arms tight above my head, and her face dangerously close to mine.

_You're angry, you're angry, you're angry._

I barely hold in the moan that threatens to escape me when Ashley sinks her teeth into my neck and slips her leg in between mine.

"She won't. You're the only one that I want touching me." I say slowly, breath jagged. I am losing my confidence quickly.

Ashley's eyes are heavily lidded and I hear her grunt lightly after I speak my words. She comes close to me, like she's going to kiss me but she just licks my upper lip sensually.

This time I can't hold back my distressed whimper as I try to move my arms, but she keeps them in place. All I can do is arch my lower body up to get more friction with her thigh. Every time I try, Ashley just pushes me back down. The feeling of being trapped underneath her is torture, ecstasy, and so sexy all at the same time.

And a dominant, animalistic Ashley is just plain sexy.

"You promise." Ashley says slowly, looking at me intently. Her chest is breathing heavily up and down, as is mine. It's not her asking me. It's her telling me to promise her that. And that is something I can do.

Because I would _never_ want anyone but her.

"Promise." I whisper to her mouth. I can't take anymore, my whole entire body is aching for her. "Kiss me. _Now_." I pant and I see her smirk before she follows my demand.

I have never had such a sexy kiss.

And now I understand why make-up sex is the best kind.

**Ashley's POV**

I mumble slightly as I feel the soreness in my body take over.

My eyes flutter open from the blinding sunlight coming in through the window. I am momentarily confused as to where I am and why I'm not in my bed. And then I remember.

The fight. Me sneaking into Spencer's room. The make-up sex.

I feel Spencer's light breathing on the back of my neck as she pulls me further into her body. Her hand is half way up the front of my shirt and our legs are tangled together. I smile.

I look at her clock across the room and see that it's 7:30 AM. Even though I got to Spencer's house at five we only went to bed at six. Giving us an hour and a half of sleep. I want so badly to just go back to bed with her warm body pressed up against mine, but unfortunately we have to go to school.

I turn around in Spencer's embrace. "Spence." I whisper lightly.

"Mmm Ash." She mumbles sleepily. I stop myself from moaning at the sound of her groggy, deep voice.

"Spencer." I say, shaking her a tiny bit. "You have to get up."

Her eyes flutter open and she smiles when she sees my face right in front of hers. Then she looks past me at her clock and she's suddenly sitting up in bed, her hair all crazy and her face panicked. I can't help but notice that her shorts are _very_ low down on her hips.

"Crap!" She says, getting out of bed. "We have school in half an hour! Crap!"

"Chill Spence, we'll be ready in fifteen." I say, slowly getting out of bed.

"My _mother_, Ashley. She's still home!" She hisses at me.

"Oh fuck." I say as I pull my jeans on. Spencer comes over to me and pulls on my arm towards her door.

"You have to get out of here. She always comes into my room."

I hop along, one leg still out of my pants. "Spence, let me put my pants on." I whine to her.

"You're such a slowpoke." She answers, going towards her door.

"That's not what you said last night." I mumble and Spencer glares hard at me. I guess my joke was not appreciated.

Spencer cracks her door open a little and sticks her head out. Then she steps out slowly, still looking around.

"Shit, what if she sees me? Do you think she _heard_ us?" I ask nervously.

I do not want the wrath of Paula.

"_Be quiet_." Spencer hisses, her eyes wide.

She pulls me quickly down the hallway and to the stairs. I hope to whatever god there is that Paula is not awake, or not downstairs. Spencer grabs my hand and hurriedly drags me downstairs and to the door.

"I'll see you later." She whispers and gives me a quick peck on the lips. I smile at her as she opens the door for me and lightly pushes me through.

As I'm leaving, I hear Mr. C chuckle and say, "Have a good day, Ashley."


	21. Stay Close, Don't Go

**Serious love to all readers and reviewers. You guys are the reason I write =D  
I hope everyone's cool with some of the non-drama happening, at the moment.  
Anyway, enjoy!  
*I do not own South of Nowhere. Obviously. But I am the proud owner of my words.* **

**Ashley's POV**

My mind is swimming with thoughts concerning everything other than pre-calculus. I fucking hate pre-calculus. The only thing I've done all period is doodle on an index card in my notebook. I think of maybe writing a note to Spencer, but I'm going to see her right after this.

Maybe I'll write a _dirty_ note.

I laugh very quietly to myself, so as to not get in trouble. Just then my cell phone vibrates in my pocket. I look to see if the coast is clear and pull it out reading the text message from Spencer.

**Pay attention. –Spencer**

I grin. She knows me way too well. Probably better than I even know myself. I type back.

**I can't. Pre-calc is boring and I keep thinking dirty things about you. –Ash**

I look back at the front board and see a whole new set of notes I have failed to copy down. I look to my side and see Madison falling asleep. I bunch up a piece of notebook paper and throw it roughly at her stupid head.

That stupid head pops up and she glares at me.

"Wake up ho." I whisper.

Madison gives me a cold stare. "I'm so not up for your bullshit right now Davies."

"Geez Madison, that really hurts my feelings." I spit at her.

She rolls her eyes. My cell phone vibrates.

**Stop it. I wanna do you on my teacher's desk but I can still concentrate. Kind of. –Spencer**

I grown inwardly at her text. Spencer must be horny because she usually doesn't write me back like that. I type back quickly while my teacher has his back turned to the class.

**That can be arranged ;) –Ash**

"How's your girlfriend?" I hear Madison ask me quietly as she looks ahead. I am taken aback for a second because she doesn't say it in a mean way. She doesn't glare at me at all. She asks like a _normal _person. She asks like she's not a bitch.

"She's great. Thank for asking." I hiss back. Just because she has a momentary lapse of niceness towards me doesn't mean I am willing to repay the favor.

Madison shrugs. Then she looks to her side, her eyes connecting with mine. "Hey. You remember that party a while ago."

I cock my head to the side and roll my eyes. "How could I forget? That was _great_. You were such a pleasure." I whisper sarcastically.

"Right." She says. "Well, I'm sorry about that." She says slowly, looking away.

"What?" I spit out quickly, and little bit too loudly.

"You heard me." She says, pretending to take notes, as the teacher looks our way.

This is too weird not to ask her why she's apologizing. "Well, you fucking should be. But I don't get it Madison." I whisper to her.

She sighs and looks back at me again. "My cousin just came out. And I, I just, you know..." She trails off awkwardly.

"Thanks." I say weirdly.

And that's the end of that twisted conversation.

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"Excuse me." I say to Spencer when I catch up to her down the hall. "Have you seen my girlfriend? She's a _really_ big dork and so not as hot as me."

Spencer smirks. "No." She answers. "Have you seen mine? She's so full of herself its kind of ridiculous."

"Yeah, I'm right here." I say smiling. Spencer chuckles a little bit opening her locker. I lean against the ones next to her as she takes my book from my hands and stuffs it inside the locker.

I take my index card from my pocket and fold it in half once. Then slip it into her back pocket, leaving my hand there for a second too long.

"For later." I whisper into her ear and kiss her cheek.

"Ashley, if that's _another_ detailed outline for the sex tape you want to make, I'm just gunna throw it away. I'm telling you right now." She says sternly.

I open my mouth wide and mock shock. "I have no idea what you're talking about Spence. But it's not." I laugh.

As we head to the out usual picnic table, I see Kyla, Robin, and Chelsea already seated. I think a growl escapes my mouth. Not a sexy one, the type that a pit bull makes before he rips your throat out.

"Be nice." Spencer says to me as we get there. "Hey guys!" She says cheerily, sitting across from Robin and Chelsea. I squeeze next to her.

"Hi guys. You missed it. Court and Aiden were just here, holding hands." Chelsea says as Spencer takes out her lunch.

"_Holding hands_! How risqué." I laugh and smile.

"Shut up Ash, it was cute." Chelsea says.

"Court seems really nice." Robin says.

"Oh he is, he's awesome." Spencer says absentmindedly. I take grape from her and pop it into my mouth.

"Yeah." Chelsea says. "We're hanging out this weekend. You should come." She says cheerily to Robin.

I roll my eyes. "Sure, that would be fun." Robin replies nicely. Too nicely. Stupid. "Is that alright with _you_, Ashley?" She asks me, meeting my eyes. One of her eyebrows is propped up and I want to rip it off her face.

"It's dandy." I say dryly. Spencer nudges me.

"Anyway." Chelsea starts to say as she glares at me. "We have to go to the library. We'll see you guys later." Her and Robin get up to leave and Robin gives a dumb little wave as they walk away.

I take more grapes from Spencer and throw one at Kyla, who has been silent this whole time. "What's up your ass?" I ask her.

She glares at me. "Do you think Robin's cute?" She blurts, out of nowhere. Spencer smirks for some weird reason.

"Um, no." I spit out quickly.

"Why?" Spencer asks slowly, giving her a look.

Kyla shrugs and eats the grape I threw at her. "I don't know. I think she's kind of cute."

"Jesus Kyla, are you coming out?" I ask her.

She raises her eyebrows at me. "No, I'm not. I'm not gay. I'm just sick of boys and their bullshit. I like having my options open." She says breezily.

"Kyla, you're usually the one causing the bullshit." Spencer says, looking up from a notebook.

"Not _always_." She says slowly, flipping her hair over her shoulder.

I cough suggestively and Kyla shoots me another glare.

"Hey." Says a deep voice as Glen comes over and sits across from us.

"Hi Glen." Spencer says to him and I smile.

"What's up?" Kyla asks nonchalantly.

Glen and Kyla have gotten into the routine of being civil when they're around each other. They don't fight or yell, they just kind of sit in peace. I think Glen gave up on Kyla and Kyla just wants to be friends. I'm actually surprised they're not constantly fighting. I guess Kyla got bored of the yelling. Imagine that. So they do that whole _Oh hey, how are you? I'm great, thanks._ _Cool, yeah_ awkward thing.

"Nothing. What are you guys doing this weekend?" He asks, stealing a chip from Spencer's bag.

I shrug. "I don't know yet."

"I think we might go to Slant, or, hey! We should go on a _road trip_!" Kyla exclaims excitedly. This idea obviously bringing her out of her earlier funk.

"That could be fun." Spencer says brightly, smiling.

"So what's the deal with this Robin chick I keep hearing about." Glen asks, looking around to all of us.

I make an annoyed grunting noise at just the mention of her name. Jesus, what is the big _fucking_ deal about this girl? She must have some kind of magic power or some shit, like Harry Potter.

"She's new, just transferred here." Kyla says, a smirk on her face, knowing Glen doesn't know she's gay yet.

"Oh yeah? I heard she was hot." He says, perking up, his eyes going bright blue and it amazes me how much they look like Spencer's. Although Spencer's are way more gorgeous.

I scoff lightly. "She's gay, Glen." Spencer tells him while popping a grape in her mouth.

His smile fades. "Are you serious? Dammit! Why, why."

Kyla and Spencer laugh at him while I'm just agreeing with Glen. I wish she were straight. Then she wouldn't be giving me any problems.

I just don't like that Robin had once hit on Spencer and now she wants to be all buddy-buddy. She was attracted to Spencer, I mean how can you not be? The thing is, you don't just _stop_ being attracted to someone. Spencer hanging out with some girl who wanted to get in her pants gives me no comfort. And it's not that I don't trust Spencer. I do, I trust Spencer, enough to give her my whole heart. It's that Robin fool I don't trust. And definitely not with _my _girlfriend.

"Oh, Spence." Glen says as he's leaving the table. She looks up at him. "Mom said she wants you to come home right after school."

Spencer's face falls. "Why?"

Glen shrugs. "I don't know. Something about mother-daughter, something something." He says, squinting his eyes, trying to remember.

Spencer sighs. "Alright."

"Bye Ashley, Kyla." He says and waves goodbye.

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Spencer leans her back against my car.

"Do you _have _to go?' I ask, coming closer to her after putting my bag in the car.

She nods and sighs. "You know my mom."

"Unfortunately." I mumble as I put my hand against her neck. "Do you- want me to come with you?" I ask and gulp visibly and audibly. I really, really would prefer not to accompany Spencer and Paula on their mother-daughter bonding thingy. But at least I should probably offer.

Spencer smiles sweetly at me, one of her hands on my waist. "No, I won't inflict that pain on you." Her other hand comes under my chin to bring my face closer. "But you're cute for offering." She whispers to me.

I try to say something but my eyes are on her lips are there are no words coming out of my mouth. Her finger is softly rubbing along my jaw and I _really_ don't want her to go.

I kiss her softly after a minute, after I can no longer control myself.

"What are you gunna do?" Spencer asks me as we pull apart.

I shrug. "Go home I guess."

"Will you do your homework, please?" She asks me with wide eyes. Those eyes I can never say no to.

I would go to hell and back for those eyes. Those eyes make me become a very whipped girl.

"Uuuuuh Speeeeece." I whine. "Fine."

Spencer smiles slyly, knowing she can always get me to do anything if she wants me to. "So, guess what Robin told me."

My eyes narrow. "That she's moving far, far away? To somewhere like...Guam."

Spencer smiles. "No. She likes Kyla." She answers breezily.

"What?" I say in surprise. "But Kyla's not _gay_."

"I know." Spencer chuckles. "She just thinks she's hot."

My face scrunches up in disgust. _Ew._ "Gross. You don't think Kyla's hot, do you?" I ask Spencer, rubbing her waist with my hand softly.

"Kyla's pretty, sure." She pauses. "But you're the only Davies for me."

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Both Aiden and Court turn their heads away from the TV when I enter my front door.

"What are you guys doing just sitting in my house?" I ask as I drop my bags and keys on the table.

"Kyla invited us over." Court says as he picks a fluff off of Aiden's shoulder.

"Robin's coming over too." Aiden says, smiling at Court.

Did I hear wrong?

"I'm sorry, what?" I say as I join them on the sofa.

"Robin." Aiden says again. "Where's Spencer?"

My face falls and I look at the TV. "She's with her mom." I say, defeated.

"That sucks." Court says softly.

Right at that moment, right when I'm watching a commercial for Girls Gone Wild, I get an idea. Maybe, if what Spencer said about Robin liking Kyla is true, and if Kyla's interest as to if Robin is cute is legitimate, maybe I can get them together. So _then_, they will both be spending time with themselves and Robin _will not_ be spending time with Spencer.

I feel like I should let out one of those evil-genius laughs.

"So, your girlfriend's coming over, huh?" I say suggestively to Kyla as she walks in from the kitchen, taking a seat on the recliner.

"What?" she asks dully, her eyes focused on the commercial about some shoe sale somewhere.

"Robin." I say clearly. "You think she's cute, huh? Maybe you two should, you know, get together." I say evenly.

Kyla tears her eyes away from the TV and gives me a look. A smirk appears on her face. "Ash. One, I'm not 'getting together' with Robin. Two, even if I did, that will not stop her and Spencer from hanging out." She finishes and turns to the TV again.

I glare at her. "Whatever Kyla. Thanks for ruining my fun, asshole." I spit out. She totally just ruined my master plan.

"So!" Kyla exclaims out of nowhere. I swear, that girl can change moods in half a fucking second. "We're going on a road trip this weekend!"

Aiden and Court look at her. "Really?!" Aiden says excitedly.

"No we're not." I say plainly.

Kyla shoots me a sneer. "Yes we are. It'll be _fun_."

I lean back and stretch out. "Well, where are we going?" I ask her.

"I think we should go to San Francisco." She says with the nod of her head.

"Kyla, that's like six hours away honey." Court says slowly, kind of like he's talking to a kindergartener.

If the shoe fits...

"So?" She says. " We can leave early in the morning, drive there, get to the city and have the late afternoon and night to spend. Then we can stay over and leave the next day. _Come on_, it'll be exciting."

Before I can retaliate, there is a knock at the door. And it's probably Robin. Kyla looks at me like she wants me to get it.

"I'm not fuckin' getting it." I tell her.

Kyla rolls her eyes dramatically and goes to the door.

"Chill Ash." Aiden says, giving me a weird look.

"Shut up Aiden." I mumble and sink further into the couch.

"Geez, you're mean when Spencer's not with you." Court chuckles as Robin and Kyla walk over.

I'm not _mean_ when Spencer's not with me. Well, alright, maybe sometimes. I just don't like being without her. Everything is so much better with her by my side.

As Kyla and Robin start up their witty banter and Aiden and Court snuggle into each other, I just rest on the comfortable couch. Eventually I doze off to sleep with thoughts of Spencer in my mind.

The last thing I hear before I drift off is Kyla telling Robin about the road trip.

Son of a _bitch_.


	22. Holiday From Real

**=)**

**Ashley's POV**

Problem. It's a seven o'clock on a Saturday morning and I am awake. Well, I am conscious, yes. But fully awake? No. I don't think I've been up this early on a Saturday morning since I was little. There has never been a reason to. But today, Kyla has put her road trip idea into action. We're actually doing it. It's fine with me, it should be fun I hope. I am just in no state to drive. I would fall asleep.

Thankfully, Aiden is driving because he is the only one with a big enough car to fit us all in. Second problem. All of us includes me, Spencer, Kyla, Aiden, Court. Oh, and Robin. Fucking Robin was invited and decided to come.

_Awesome_.

It's this early and she's already pissing me off. Thankfully, she's mostly talking to Kyla. And I am trying my best to keep her away from Spencer. I know, I have no reason to be jealous or worry. But I guess it's just an old grudge that won't go away.

I'm sitting on the curb waiting for everyone to get their shit together. The coffee in my hand is the only thing keeping my eyes open. That and Spencer in her shorts and tank top. She's talking animatedly to Court and sometimes her tank top rides up so I can see her stomach.

_Mmmm_.

The only thing that will be keeping me sane in a car with Robin for six hours will be being in a car with Spencer for six hours. Or maybe that will be the very thing that kills me. Being in a car with her that long and not being able to do much else. It's like a trap. I can't do Spencer in the car. I can't punch Robin's dumb freckled face in.

Hopefully, I'll just fall asleep.

"Hey." Spencer smiles at me. She bends down in front of me and puts her hands on my knees. She kisses me softly. "Are you okay, this early in the morning?"

I smile at her. Her eyes are insanely bright in the sun. All twinkly and blue. "I'm surviving."

Spencer kisses me again. "Good."

I put my coffee down and pull Spencer into my lap, wrapping my arms around her. "Will you be my pillow when I pass out in the car?" I ask her sweetly while nuzzling her bare shoulder. Her skin feels so soft and wonderful.

Spencer giggles. "Of course."

"Hey hey lovebirds." Court says while laughing as he walks over. "It's time to get going. You guys ready?"

"Yep, we're good." Spencer says, getting up. "Come on, Ash." She says as she pulls me up by my hands. I grab her hand to walk over. "We're sitting in the very back." She says with a wink.

I grin, my spirits lifting considerably.

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"Fuck, stop it Ashley." Kyla says loudly to me. She is sitting right in front of me and it is too easy to keep flicking her head. "Spencer, control your woman."

"Jesus, we haven't even gotten out of town yet, would you two stop it." Aiden says from the front seat.

"_Sorry_ Aiden." I say dryly.

I turn my head to look at Spencer and she's giving me a _why do you have to cause trouble _look.

"She deserves it." I whisper and yawn.

Spencer raises an eyebrow at me. _So_ sexy. Then she kisses me softly and I hold back a moan when she kisses my neck not so innocently. I push her away just a little bit.

"Ugh, I'm gunna have to go to sleep. I don't want to have to be resorted to doing you in front of all our friends." I say lowly.

Spencer laughs lightly. "Yeah, you're right."

I snuggle into her and when I can't get comfortable, I just lie down and put my head in her lap. Spencer's fingers drifting through my hair lull me to sleep quickly.

"Ashley!" I hear Kyla's voice yell some time later.

"Kyla, don't yell, I can wake her up." I faintly hear Spencer say angrily.

"No, stop it teddy bear." I mumble and then open my eyes. When I lift my head up, Kyla is giving me a weird look and Spencer is holding back a smirk.

"We're at a rest stop. Come on." Spencer says as her soft hands pull me out of the car.

I walk sluggishly next to Spencer as we make our way across the parking lot. I wish they had just let me keep sleeping in the car.

And I make that very clear to everyone.

"Stop bitching." Kyla says.

"You were kind of snoring." Robin laughs lightly.

"Shut up _Robin_." I mumble and give her a glare. "At least I get to sleep on Spencer." I say so quietly no one hears me.

"We're going to the bathroom." Spencer says hurriedly as she drags me away from everyone.

"What, Spence I don't have to-" I say but am cut off by her mouth on mine as she shoves me in a stall.

I immediately wake up and come to full attention a.k.a. full arousal as I feel her tongue go in my mouth. I push her against the side of the stall and my hands go to her waist, squeezing her sides under her shirt.

"Sorry, I just-" Spencer says deeply but this time I cut her off.

"No, it's good." I mumble against her lips and kiss her again. Her hands find the sides of my face and she pulls me closer. I moan at the feeling of her tongue in my ear. And can't help myself when I flick open the button to her jean shorts.

My hand slips in and lightly rubs her under her boy shorts.

"_Oh my God_." Spencer moans into my mouth, obviously trying to stay quiet. But it's deeming difficult, for the both of us.

I push her harder against the stall and move my mouth to her neck. I'm breathing so heavily I can barely get words out.

"You're so fucking sexy." I breathe before I bite her neck aggressively, scraping the soft skin with my teeth.

Spencer pushes her lower half harder against my hand, telling me to be rougher. I follow her body language.

I don't even have to enter her. Spencer falls over the edge by just my rubbing hand.

"Did we seriously just do that in a rest stop bathroom stall?" Spencer breathes heavily out on my shoulder afterwards.

I chuckle and kiss her cheek. "Yes, yes we did. Shit, that was so hot."

"Well, are you awake now?" Spencer asks me, buttoning her shorts.

I smirk. "I'm pretty sure."

When we walk out, we find Aiden and Court still on line for food. Kyla and Robin are sitting at a table off to the side. Unfortunately, we have to go sit with them.

"Seriously guys, a bathroom stall?" Kyla scoffs as Spencer and I sit down.

"I, what are you talking about?" Spencer says while she blushes. I just smirk, directing it towards Robin, but pretending not to.

"That mark on your neck says it all, Spence." Kyla says, a small smile on her face.

Spencer's hand immediately goes to where I bit her hard. There's definitely a serious indent. She turns to give me a look.

"What?" I say. "You initiated it."

"Alright, enough." Kyla says sternly.

"How much longer do we have?" Robin asks, taking a sip of her soda.

Kyla gives her a pointed look. "You _just _asked that."

Robin gives her a look back. "Well, I _forgot_. Geez."

Kyla smirks at her and takes a bite of her bagel. "About two hours." She says with her mouth full.

"So," Court starts as he and Aiden sit down at the table, "what do you guys wanna do when we get there?"

We all look around at each other and no one says anything.

Court laughs, breaking the silence. "Right, so we came all the way here and we don't even know what we're doing."

"Well, that's the _fun_ of a road trip. It's spontaneous. I'm sure we'll find something." Kyla says easily.

"Yeah alright." Court says, agreeing.

"Hey! Aid, can I drive." Kyla asks him hopefully.

Aiden snorts loudly. "Um, no."

"Why not?" Kyla pouts. "I'm _great_ driver."

"Ky, you crashed mom's new car the day after she got it." I say with a smirk on my face.

Kyla turns red. "Not my fault! That stop sign was covered by bushes! And plus, that squirrel _so_ did not look both ways."

Robin snorts and Spencer laughs.

We get back on the road a few minutes later. Fortunately, Aiden continues to drive. I don't need Kyla driving us off the side of the Golden Gate Bridge. That would _not_ be a successful road trip.

"Oh wow." Spencer breathes out a bit later as we drive over the bridge.

I smile at her cuteness. "I forgot you've never been here." I state, looking out the window.

"Yeah, well this was just a little bit off course on the way to the mall in Ohio." She says smartly, still looking out the window.

I smile at her. "You're adorable." I chuckle. I see Spencer blush lightly and hit my knee playfully.

After we finally, finally find a place to park the car, after much deliberation and argument between Kyla and Aiden, we start to walk around. I had forgotten how awesome San Francisco is. I haven't been here in a such a long time.

As we walk through Fisherman's Wharf, I grab Spencer's hand and interlock our fingers. Holding her hand here, in a place where no one knows us, is such a rush. Her skin of so soft against mine, I continually trace my fingers over hers just to feel it. Here, we're not gay. We're not the lesbians in school. We're not anything. We're just Spencer and Ashley. And when we're just that, us, is when I love us the most. It's when I love her the most. To everyone else around, we're just two people. No problems.

The wind is lightly blowing Spencer's hair back across her shoulders and into her eyes. She keeps brushing it away but the wind is never-ending. It's giving me slight chills, similar to the way Spencer makes me feel.

She's so pretty. Simple as that.

I see Aiden and Court holding hands next to us. Whispering to each other and Aiden smiles wide at something Court says. I smile at them. Kyla and Robin are walking in front of us. Deep in whatever conversation they're in. Kyla pushes Robin playfully and she stumbles out of line before she regains balance.

"You look like a bug." I hear Robin say and laugh, commenting on the huge sunglasses covering Kyla's small face. I chuckle and suddenly Robin doesn't bother me at all.

Right now, everything is good. Peaceful.

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It was difficult to find a place to stay. And when we finally do, I'm relieved. I thought we might have had to sleep in the car. Honestly, I think it was Court's good looks and boyish charm that got the receptionist girl to get us a room for a good price. Much to Aiden's jealousy.

"Alright. There is one rule for this room." Kyla says as we enter a room with two beds, two chairs and a small table. "There will be no _Bom Chicka Wah Wah_ here."

Robin looks at her with a weird expression on her face. "Did you _really_ just say that?"

I laugh loudly as Kyla glares at Robin and I.

"I'm serious." Kyla says, looking at Aiden and Court. And then she looks at me and Spencer. "_Especially_ you two. I know you can't control yourselves."

Spencer opens her mouth. "We can control ourselves." She says harshly.

I actually would have to disagree, but whatever.

Kyla raises an eyebrow. "My room is down the hall from Ashley's. You can't." She says simply and I see Spencer turn red and mumble _Whatever_.

"Since you're guys and all rugged and stuff, you two can sleep on the floor." I say as I sit down on one of the beds.

Aiden scoffs. "Rugged? Even I know we're by no means _rugged_. But whatever." Aiden laughs and goes to find some blankets.

A few minutes later, after we've organized the sleeping routines and rules, I head down the hall to get some sodas.

"Hey." Robin says as she appears next to me with some singles in her hand.

"Hey." I say, trying to smooth out a dollar bill because the machine keeps rejecting it. "So, are you into my sister?" I ask her as again, my bill is rejected.

Robin smiles and leans against the wall. "Kyla's cute, yeah, but I'm not really interested in her like that. She's fun." Robin pauses. "And straight."

"She thinks you're cute." I tell her. I'm not sure if that information is supposed to be disclosed or not. Oh well.

Robin shrugs. "Friends is good. Anything other than that probably wouldn't work."

"You're too noble." I laugh and give her an actual, genuine smile. Probably for the first time since I've met her.

She gives me one back.

"Here." Robin says and takes the dollar out of my hand and smoothes it against the side of the vending machine. It slips right in.

"Thanks." I say, and retrieve my Pepsi.

"No problem." Robin pauses. "We're cool, right?" She asks with some nervousness in her voice.

I take her in. All Robin had ever done was like a gorgeous girl who just happened to be in love with her best friend. If the girl's best friend didn't know how was Robin supposed to know? For her, it was bad timing and horrible luck. It was so middle school of me to keep thinking she was going to take Spencer from me, when that obviously was not her intention.

And plus, it was kind of entertaining when she made fun of Kyla. Because that _is_ one of my favorite pastimes.

I smile at her and nod. "We're cool."


	23. Catch The Sun

**Spencer's POV**

I'm the first to wake up, and that is just fine with me. The sun is streaking through the sliding doors of the small balcony and the light flashes across my eyes in a steady stream.

Ashley is almost completely on top of me, her head snuggled cutely in the crook of my neck. She is snoring very lightly and her lips are just placed on my neck. I stay still for a little bit, figuring out how to move but not wake her up. It's early, and I want to let her sleep.

I finally untangle myself from her. When I'm fully out of the bed, she reaches out her hand in the spot where I was. Then she mumbles something that sounds like my name. I kiss the side of her head and straighten out my clothes, heading to the balcony.

I look over at the other bed and see Kyla curled into a ball, pressed up very closely to Robin. Robin is on her side, one of her arms thrown protectively around Kyla. I smirk at them. All last night they wouldn't stop giggling and Court, Aiden and I had to tell them multiple times to shut up.

I make my way across the floor and try not to step on Aiden or Court. Aiden is sprawled out across the floor on his back. And Court is on his stomach, one arm draped over Aiden. Aiden is snoring loudly and I hold back a laugh at his open mouth, drool spilling out.

I feel like that whole walk across the room was an obstacle course to get outside. But when I finally do, I slide the door shut as quietly as I can and lean against the railing. It is totally gorgeous out and my eyes don't know where to look first. They take in some of the tall buildings. The people down on the streets bustling around, starting their days. Maybe they're going to get coffee. Or the newspaper. Or breakfast. Scattered white clouds spot the baby blue sky, and the sun is radiating the city in a yellow-y glow.

Part of me wants to stay here. Just stay here forever and never go home. Home is so difficult. Home is too hard. This is perfect.

Home has my mother in it. And that scares me. Sneaking around and hiding my relationship with Ashley is killing me. I try not to let Ashley know it bothers me, because she doesn't need that. I just so desperately wish that I could not care what my mother thinks. I wish that I were brave enough to just tell her, plain and simple. Do it quickly, like pulling off a band-aid. But I'm too nervous. She is, after all, my mother. Sometimes I come so close to just saying it, but then I chicken out. I always tell myself next time. Next time.

It's always next time.

I sigh and rest my arms on the railing. The sound of the balcony door sliding open and then close shakes me from my deep thoughts. My too deep of thoughts for this beautiful, sunlit city.

I feel a warm body surround me from behind and a warm breath behind my ear.

"Hi baby." Ashley says sweetly into my ear, then kisses behind it. Her arms come around me and her hands rest on top of mine. She is still warm from being in bed.

"Hi." I smile outwardly over the balcony. "Go back to bed, it's early." I whisper to her, turning my head slightly so I can try and see her.

Her hair is all messy and her eyes are extremely sleepy. She is beyond the definition of cuteness. Her arms move from being on top of mine and go around my stomach, linking together.

"It's okay. I like this." She says softly. I hear her yawn and I grin and kiss her cheek. I rest my forehead against her temple and give her another kiss on her jaw. Her grip on me tightens protectively and I see the sides of her mouth tilt upwards.

We stand there silently for a while. Just looking at the city. Every now and then Ashley yawns sleepily and I chuckle a little bit. I feel good with her arms around me. Wonderful, actually.

I feel Ashley's head go heavy against my shoulder and her breathing even out. I turn around and chuckle when I see her in that half-asleep, half-awake state.

"Ashley." I say quietly.

Her eyes flutter but stay closed.

"Spencer." She mumbles groggily.

I laugh a little louder. "Ash."

"I'm awake." She says, her eyes still closed.

I unravel myself from her and take her hand in mine, guiding her back into the room. Court and Aiden are now awake. Aiden is attempting to get the coffee machine to work.

"What the hell." He says, as he pushes all the buttons.

"You might want to plug it in, Aid." Court says from one of the soft chairs. He has a newspaper open and reading glasses on. One spot in his shaggy hair is matted down from sleeping on the ground.

"Good morning boys." I say as I let Ashley fall back into the bed.

"Morning Spence." Court says lightly, smirking at Aiden's struggle.

I set myself down in the other chair, across the table from Court. "What's on the agenda for today?"

Aiden walks over, apparently having given up on electronics. His hand goes to rub Court's hair affectionately.

"I dunno, we'll have to ask Queen Kyla when she wakes up." Aiden says and chuckles.

"Yeah, have you seem those two?" Court says, his eyes glancing to Kyla and Robin all snuggled up under the covers.

The three of us laugh but come to the conclusion that it's purely innocent. I don't know about that, though. Only time will tell.

"I can hear you, douchebags." Kyla mumbles from the bed across the room. She stretches lightly and then gets out of bed. Her hair is all messed up and her make-up is kind of smudged.

She pads over to me, Aiden, and Court and sits down on my lap, taking a sip of my orange juice.

"Sleep well?" Aiden asks her with a smile on his face.

She gives him a look. "Yes, actually. I slept great." I see a smile creeping up on her face from behind her hard look at Aiden. "We can head home anytime you guys want."

I shrug, showing my indifference to whatever we do.

"We should go get breakfast in a little while. I bet they have a killer buffet." Court says, breaking the peaceful silence after a while.

"Definitely." Aiden agrees and nods.

I eventually get up, telling Kyla she can have the chair and get back into the comfortable bed that has a sleepy Ashley in it. When I snuggle back into her, she immediately moves closer, throwing her arm around me.

"Mmm, there's my pillow." She says sleepily with her eyes closed, a smile on her face. I kiss her lightly and rest my head in her neck. "Do we have to get up soon?" She asks.

"In a few minutes." I say into her neck, taking in how good the skin there smells.

Ashley mumbles an "Okay" into my hair.

About an hour later, which was much later than we all thought would be, Kyla, Aiden, Court, Ashley, Robin, and I head downstairs to check out breakfast. Kyla decided to hog up most of the time in the one bathroom doing her hair and make-up. And I had to be a _nice_ girl and say I'd shower last, so that left me with no hot water at all. Fortunately, sleeping with Ashley in a bed and not being able to have sex with her had caused me to become extremely hot and bothered. So maybe the cold shower was good. It's not that we never just sleep, we do all the time. It's the fact that we weren't _allowed_ to do it that made us so desperately want to. I guess that's true with most things.

I never _wanted_ to pet that sting-ray at Sea World until Glen told me I wasn't _allowed_ to. Then it was all I could think about the whole vacation. And when I did, I think it bit me.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Could I get the syrup, Ash?" Robin asks Ashley, who is sitting next to me.

Ashley smiles and hands it to her.

"Thanks." Robin says cheerily, pouring it on her pancakes.

"Yeah, no problem." Ashley says in a tone that is not mean, sarcastic, or caustic. All of which she usually uses for Robin.

I give Kyla a confused look across the table where she is seated next to Robin. She scrunches her eyebrows together, not understanding the sudden niceness between the two. She shrugs and grabs a piece of bacon off of Robin's plate.

"Dammit Kyla, I wanted that." Robin grumbles as Kyla smirks.

"I'll get you more, geez. Baby."

"Do you guys realize," Aiden says with his mouth full of eggs, "that all of us stayed in a cramped room together for a whole night and none of us are dead?"

"Aiden sweetie, here." Court says, handing him a napkin and giving him a sympathetic look.

"I know, it's kind of amazing." Ashley says, taking a sip of her apple juice. "But there's still time. _Kyla_." She finishes with a mischievous grin on her face, directing her words towards her sister.

I hit her leg under the table with my hand and Ashley chuckles. I then feel her hand come softly up my thigh and start to rub the top of it. Already, my cold shower is wearing off. Her fingers move to my inner thigh as I try simply to eat some toast. That hand is moving up slowly and I seriously wish I could hold in my quiet moan. But I let it out and then cover it up with a cough. I put my hand on Ashley's to stop her and thankfully, she does.

Thankfully, because five more seconds and I would have let her have me right then and there.

I see her out of the corner of my eye shoveling eggs into her mouth with a stupid smirk on her face.

Eventually, we all finish breakfast and decide to go out for a little while before we head home. Everyone leaves the table and then me and Ashley are left because she's finishing her juice.

Her apple juice. She's such a little kid sometimes.

I see my chance for retaliation when she goes to get up. But I swiftly hop up and out of my chair and straddle her on her own chair. Her brown eyes go wide in surprise.

"Spencer?" Ashley says hoarsely as my hands find her waist under her shirt. I bring my mouth to her ear and bite her earlobe. I physically feel her choke back a moan.

"You make me so hot Ash." I breathe into her ear. Her chest breathes heavily against me as I hear the tiniest growl come out of her. And then I bite the side of her jaw and get up and off her. I start to walk nonchalantly away.

"_Spencer_." I hear an angry whisper-yell where Ashley is still sitting. Obviously trying to recover.

I look over my shoulder at her and meet her eyes. I smirk. "Payback, Ash."

Her eyes narrow dramatically at me. And then she gets up and follows me. She keeps mumbling things about cold showers all the way to the elevator.

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"Thanks for all your help honey. And for the great room." Court says to the receptionist girl. This girl has had her eyes on Court every single time we've seen her.

"Of course!" She replies giddily. "We hope to see you all again." She directs this towards Court specifically.

Aiden walks up to Court and grips his arm. "Uh huh." He scoffs, pulling Court away. "Did you really have to be all flirty with her?"

"Did you wanna sleep in the car, Aid?" Court says, smirking. "Plus." He continues. "It's her own fault, she should be able to tell I'm gay. It's kind of really obvious. As obvious as Kyla liking Robin."

"_Hey_!" Kyla shrieks from behind him. "Court!"

Ashley chuckles from beside me and I look back at Robin, who has a smirk on her face. She continues to bicker with Court all the way to the car.

When we start our ride, Kyla finally settles down and falls asleep on Robin's shoulder.

"So you're being all nice to Robin all of a sudden. What's that about?" I ask Ashley quietly with a playful smile on my face.

Ashley glances at me. "We have an understanding." She says simply. I raise my eyebrow to her in disbelief. "What? You want me to be jealous?" A big smirk appears on her face. "Oh, I get it. You _like_ it when I'm jealous and all possessive. It turns you _on_." She whispers seductively.

"Shut up Ash." I scoff. "No it doesn't."

And I'm lying. Because as much as I hated fighting with her over Robin, of all things. Her being passionate about something, about me, is so hot. And when she's possessive and claims me as hers, which I am, is even hotter. And sometimes when she's angry, she had this annoyed face, and her lips are all pouted, and her eyes smolder. And it is so sexy. I love that she wants me all to herself. Because I _am_ hers.

"Sure. " She chuckles. "And by the way, thanks for blue-balling me at breakfast this morning."

"Well that was your punishment." I grin at her. "And maybe if your hands weren't all over me that wouldn't have happened."

Ashley gives me a wide-mouthed smile and she licks her lips. "Oooh, punishment. I like that. And you love my hands all over you. Don't deny it, _Spencer_." She says my name in a low voice. One she knows does things to me. The sound of her voice alone makes my heart beat erratically.

We're taken from our staring contest by the sound of Kyla's voice.

"So how was abstaining from sex for a few days?" She asks with a smirk on her face.

Ashley tears her eyes away from my lips to answer. "It was _great_, Kyla, thanks. But I bet it was easier for you, you've had lots of practice."

Kyla's face gets all red and angry looking. "Screw you."

"Nah, I'm sure you'd rather have Robin do that." Ashley replies with a smirk

"No thanks. I don't wanna kiss _that_." Robin pipes up and turns around. She has a playful expression on her face directed towards Kyla.

"Excuse me." Kyla says dramatically. "I am a _great_ kisser, for you information."

I chuckle a little bit before Robin answers. "Yeah sure." She says sarcastically.

Kyla's eyebrows scrunch together. "What, you don't believe me?" Robin shakes her head. "Well, believe this." Kyla says seriously and grabs Robin's neck towards her. Robin's eyes go wide for a second before she let's them close as Kyla kisses her hard.

I am kind of in shock and don't know what to do. I want to look away but I can't seem to. I glance at Ashley and her eyes are wide and she seems to be in the same position as me. Kyla and Robin finally break apart and Kyla just looks at Robin, while Robin catches her breath. Kyla's face goes back to normal.

"Well?" She says, like she wants Robin to tell her how the chicken she just made tastes.

Robin opens and closes her mouth. "Uh." She looks at me and then back at Kyla. "Um. I've had better." But Robin's weak, quivering voice is not very convincing. Kyla smirks and turns back around, content with so obviously proving her point.

"What the hell was that?" Court says loudly from the front seat. He must have seen the whole, weird occurrence.

Kyla shrugs. "Just a test." She answers breezily.

Yeah, _test_ my ass.

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**Okay, I've been thinking about this. Do you guys want Kyla and Robin to 'get together'? I know they just kissed, but that can go either way. Let me know what you think. Input is mucho appreciated. =)  
Peace and Love. **


	24. Broken Sunday

**Doot doot doot, thank you everyone for all of your input and thoughts! I got a ton of reviews about my query to Robin and Kyla, and I read and thought about all of them, so thank you so much! I wish I could give everyone what they wanted, but unfortunately that can be difficult. But, I am going to try and see what I can work out. I'm pretty sure I know what I'm going to do, so please stay with me =) I appreciate everyone's interest in my story so much! You guys are so sweet. Okay, enough rambling.  
Enjoy!  
Leave some love =D **

**Spencer's POV**

It's a Sunday afternoon and I am just dill-dallying around the house. Yes, I said _dilly-dallying_. Glen is somewhere like basketball practice and my dad got called into work. Much to my mom's disappointment because then we couldn't all go to church together. So I had to go to church with my mom. Alone.

This was not my idea of a relaxing Sunday. Church is supposed to be comforting, right? Well my mother seems to stress the crap out of this religious service. This something that is supposed to be calming.

_I had been picking out my outfit for an hour. Eventually, I settled on a plaid skirt with a white collar shirt. To be honest, I felt like a school girl._

_Like Britney Spears in _Hit Me Baby One More Time.

_I felt like a complete fool. But my mother insisted that I looked wonderful. _

"_There's my good Catholic girl." My mother said as I came down the stairs. The frown on my face was way too obvious. "Cheer up Spencer, it's just an hour, you can't devote just one hour to God?"_

_Was she serious? I had to hold in my laughter by covering my mouth and coughing. It was that ridiculous. It's not that I don't appreciate God, I do, I guess. But I once had to pray at Red Lobster with my ex boyfriend's family. It was strange. And a little too much for me. (_Author Note: This was a real event. It happened to me. Weird? Yes.)

_The car ride was even worse. My mother proceeded to ask me every imaginable question about my life. _

"_How's school?" She asked, her hands at precisely ten and two on the steering wheel. _

"_It's good." I responded, staring out the window. I was watching all the trees go by. The palm trees morphing into weird blurry shapes as the car sped past them. _

"_How are your friends? Kyla? Chelsea?" She asked again, staring at the road ahead._

"_Great." I said in a monotone voice. _

_It wasn't that I wasn't happy about my mother asking me. It would have been nice any other instance, to have a mother ask her daughter about her friends. But I knew she had alternative motives. She asked about all of my friends except Ashley. And she had the nerve to think I didn't notice. _

_That or she was just being a bitch on purpose. Sometimes I couldn't tell. I just couldn't bring myself to think that my own mother would have the audacity to want to be like that._

_I tried hard with her. I tried to make her happy in most aspects. I got good grades. I didn't get myself into trouble. She was my mother, after all. We all have some kind of need to make our parents proud. _

_Maybe that was my downfall. _

_The service bored me to death. I think I even fell asleep once or twice, because when it was time to get communion my mother grabbed my hand and suddenly I was standing up, walking down the aisle. I didn't like the noise my shoes made against the cheap, ugly carpet on the ground. I didn't like the old ladies with the hats with those fake flowers in them. They blocked my vision and were just beyond annoying for no reason at all. Maybe because they were pointless. _

_And then my mother spent exactly a half an hour talking to the priest. While I stood by her side, eating my doughnut and sipping my coffee. _

"_Maybe you should invite Ashley to come to church one day." My mother said on the car ride home. _

_I was taken aback. One, she acknowledged Ashley's presence while she wasn't here. Two, she wanted her to come somewhere with us._

"_Really?" I asked surprised as I turned to look at her._

_My mother nodded. "Yes, I think church and God would be good for her."_

_Oh. _

_There it was._

_Here I was, stupidly thinking my mother was just being a nice person. But no. she wanted Ashley to come because she believed Ashley needed to come. For her own good. My heart started to pound fast, not wanting to believe this was her true reason. Fighting about it would be useless. There was no reason to. Nothing ever got accomplished. _

"_Right." I said quietly as I continued to watch the palm trees. _

So now I was standing in my kitchen, still in my lame-ass school girl outfit, eating a cookie. I hadn't seen Ashley all weekend. Our schedules clashed violently. Her going with Kyla to visit their dad a few towns over. Me, having to go with my family to some tournament for Glen. I had wished I could go with Ashley and Kyla.

Even Friday and Saturday night were spent apart. Being as the Davies sisters slept over their dad's on Friday. And then I had plans with Chelsea on Saturday night to just hang alone. Something we haven't done in a very long time. And it was nice.

But I missed Ashley.

And here I was, Sunday afternoon after church thinking of times when I could have sex with my girlfriend.

"Spence." My mother says, starling me so much that I drop my cookie into the sink. "I'm going out with the ladies for a bit. I'll be back later." She says, grabbing her car keys from the island in the center of the kitchen.

"Alright." I tell her evenly. "Have fun." I say too cheerily than I want to.

My mother gives me a smile and kisses my cheek. And then she's gone.

Immediately, I go up to my room and dial Ashley's number on my cell phone.

"Ashley Davies, aiming to please for seventeen years." Her husky voice comes in after two rings.

I can't help but chuckle at her opening lines. "Oh hi, I was calling to ask if you made house calls?" I say into the phone.

I know she's smiling. I just know it. "Hmm. That would depend on the situation, caller." She gives a laugh and her voice gets considerably lower. "What are you wearing?"

I think for a second. Deciding if I should tell her to _shut up_ like I normally do or to play along. "A plaid skirt and a tight white shirt." I play along.

I hear breathing on the other end. "Shut up." She says, in a tone that's asking me if I'm serious or not.

"I will not. I'm totally serious. You know I'm all about the church wear." I tell her, smiling to myself.

"Oooh, the Catholic girl look. I'm telling you right now, Spence, I don't believe you." She says in a rough voice. "So, I'm going to have to come make a house call to see if you're lying to your girlfriend or not."

I laugh. "I take that challenge."

"Family?" She asks curiously.

"Gone." I tell her.

She pauses one second. "Hell yes, I'll be over in five." And she hangs up. I smile to myself.

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As soon as I hear the doorbell ring, I get up from my living room couch and go get it. I lean against the doorframe with my hand on my hip as I open the door for Ashley.

"_Oh my God_." She deadpans, the second she sees that I really wasn't lying about the Britney Spears impersonation. Her gorgeous brown eyes are wide and I can't help smirk. Loving that I can totally surprise her sometimes. Loving that I _know_ how turned on she is at this very moment.

Not that I can say much else for myself. She's wearing a pair of very ripped, light jeans. Showing her perfectly tanned skin in all the right places. Her T-shirt clings to her in an even better way, and leaves some of her envy-worthy toned stomach to be seen. Her curly hair is up in a messy sexy-as-hell bun with a few pieces draped around her face.

I compose myself before attempting to speak to her.

"I told you." I chuckle as I close the door behind her.

"Well, I believe you now." She says. Her eyes scan me excruciatingly slowly. "Shit Spence. You should wear that to school everyday."

"Yeah? But then how would you be able to concentrate?" I ask with a hint of evil as I brush past her to go up the stairs.

"Like I even concentrate usually, anyway." Ashley chuckles. She slaps my ass from behind me on the stairs.

"Ash!" I exclaim with a giggle as I rush faster up the stairs and into my room. I hear Ashley close the door quickly before I even anticipate her being on me.

Her mouth meets mine and it feels so good. So incredibly warm and wet. She walks me backwards so my back hits the door and I feel her grin into the deepening kiss. Her tongue comes out and rubs mine sensually and I can't hold back a moan that goes straight into her mouth. I feel her hands travel down my skirt and then under.

"You look so fucking hot." She murmurs into my mouth, kissing me harder, pushing herself into me. I know how much my outfit is affecting her, and I plan to use that advantage accordingly.

I remove her hands from me as they are starting to move up. I hear her whimper in protest as I push her away from me, losing all contact.

"_Spence_." She whines, her eyes roaming my body like a predator on a mission.

I put my hands against her stomach softly and now guide her backwards.

"Sit." I tell her, as the backs of her legs hit my desk chair. I never break eye contact with her.

"Spencer, I can't do homework when I'm this horny. And when you're wearing _that_." She says, desperation in her voice.

I come close to her, her eyes on mine still. Then I straddle her on the chair leaving some space between us. But not a lot.

"We're not doing homework." I whisper into her ear, making sure I breathe a little into it.

I hear her groan. "Oh fuck yes." She says huskily, her dark eyes on mine. Her greedy hands come to my waist, rubbing my sides. My own holding onto both sides of the chair, one arm on either side of her head, I kiss her very lightly. I feel the need in her mouth as I pull away to kiss her neck.

Ashley tilts her head back a little bit and lets a strangled moan out when I get to her pulse point. I keep working that spot and her hands move to the collar of my shirt, pulling me further into her and making me slide up on her legs. "Uuh Spence that feels so good." She moans out in jagged breath.

I move to the other side of her neck, knowing she'll definitely have a large hickey in the first place I marked. "You _taste_ so good." I say into her neck, hearing my own voice become way deeper.

I move my hands around her neck and I feel hers go to the front of my shirt. Slowly, she starts to unbutton my shirt from top to bottom. When my mouth takes in her earlobe, I feel her hips move a little bit to meet more with the ones on top of her.

Ashley brings my mouth to meet hers once again, and she speaks only after she's kissed me deep and hard. Full of lust. "I want you to fuck me right on this chair." She breathes into my mouth. I whimper in her mouth at her words. I feel her breathing heavy and I am sure my own matches it. Because I can't catch my breath. She has unbuttoned about half of my shirt so far and her hands slide in, rubbing over the part of my breasts that are not covered by my bra.

I inhale sharply as I feel her hands smooth over me. I will never, ever get used to that sensation. It sends all kinds of crazy, electrical messages throughout my body. I try and move myself harder into her, for more friction and some tension release. Ashley's hands now on my ass assist with that movement. At this, I hear a growl come out of her mouth and she kisses me, biting my lips, tongue, and anything else she can.

We're making out so roughly and heavily that it's practically like we're having sex with our clothes on.

We were way too into it to hear my name yelled from downstairs. We're both way too into it to hear my door crack open.

And now, we're way too into it, until my mother's presence brings us right out of it.

Right the _hell_ out of it.

Then we're not into it. Then Ashley is across the room and I'm standing by the chair and my mother is yelling. She's all red. She's extremely angry.

And I'm nervous.

"Get out of my house." My mother says in the most horrible tone.

So horrible it paralyzes me. Nothing comes out of my mouth.

"What the _hell_ is going on here?!" My mother screams this time.

My eyes go to find Ashley. Her own eyes are wide and scared. The expression on her face tells me she has no idea what to do.

But I need her to know what to do. Because I don't know either.

"Get out of my house." My mothers says again, directing her spitted words towards Ashley.

I am so not ready for this.

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**Oh snap, the shit just hit the faaaaan. **


	25. Miserable At Best

**Well, the drama had to come sometime. This is a little shorter, but I think it ends where it needs to end. And I know I left the Kyla/Robin situation hanging for a bit, but I feel like Spashley is more important right now. Sorry Kyla and Robin...  
Let me know what you think. **

**Ashley's POV**

"Get out of my house." Paula says in a tone so rough and horrible it makes my skin crawl.

My heart is pounding so hard I think I might have a stroke. It physically hurts to move my body. I hear yelling going on around me but I can't make out the noise. It all seems so fuzzy and distorted.

"Stop it mom!" Spencer yells loudly. The sound of her voice and the tears streaming angrily from her eyes rips me from my daze.

"I will not have _that_ in my house. You are never to step foot in my house or touch my daughter ever again." Paula spits at me as I stand in the middle of Spencer's room.

"Ashley is my girlfriend. Just accept it." Spencer says loudly.

"No!" Paula yells loudly "Spencer, you are not seeing her anymore."

Spencer just stands in front of her mother, her chest pounding hard with every single breath she tries to take.

"You can't do that." She says slowly, her eyes wide.

"Oh yes I can. Watch me." Paula hisses, directing her words at me.

There is silence and it is making me deaf.

Why isn't Spencer saying something more? Why isn't Spencer saying that she loves me and I love her? _Fight for me Spencer!_ I need so badly to be fought for right now. Because I have no strength to do it myself.

I open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out. I try again. "I love Spencer, you can't stop that." I growl slowly at the woman who is tearing my world apart and throwing up the pieces in front of my eyes.

"Don't you speak to me!" Paula screeches jaggedly at me, piercing my body with hatred.

Spencer's eyes flare, I can see them from across the room. "Don't _talk_ to Ashley like that!" Spencer screams at her mother.

I can't deal with this. It's too much. It shouldn't be like this. I can't breath and I can't think. My heart is telling me to go hug Spencer, to touch her in some way, to grab her and bring her into me. To protect her.

But who's protecting me?

I turn around slowly and walk out of the room. Taking the stairs two at a time, I rush through the door quickly.

When I get outside, I can't breath. I think my heart is imploding. I have to stop halfway across the grass to catch my breath.

I'm expecting Spencer to come right out after me. To get out of that hell-hole. She always comes after me. She always comes for me.

Why isn't she coming for me?

My shock suddenly turns to anger and I pick up a rock in the grass and throw it with all my strength into the street. I hear it hit a sign and the noise reverberates down the street. It sounds horrible, like the metal is cracking and falling down hard on the pavement.

I wait. My chest pounding up and down. I hadn't even yelled but just being there made it seem like I had no voice. It hurts to swallow.

Five minutes too late, Spencer walks out of the house. Even from across the grass I can see the shininess on her face as tears continually fall. She walks slowly to me, like she's broken. And when she gets in front of me she finally makes eye contact. She doesn't reach out to hold my hand. And she doesn't wrap her arms around me.

We stare at each other.

"Why didn't you fight for me?" I ask her hoarsely. I feel my eyes brimming with salty water.

Spencer blinks once. "Ashley, what?"

"Why the hell didn't you fight for me!" I yell louder than necessary. My voice cracks halfway through and that tear finally, finally falls against my best wishes.

I hate that tear.

"I did." Spencer says. "Of course I did!"

"No you didn't." I say evenly. My eyes feel like they're on fire. "You said 'stop it' and 'don't talk to Ashley that way.' You never said you loved me. You never touched me. You never said _nothing_ would stop you from being with me."

Spencer looks shocked.

My body is now shaking uncontrollably. "And you're still not touching me." I hiss.

"She's watching." Spencer says almost inaudibly.

I physically feel something in me snap in half. It might be my mind. It might be my heart.

"SO?!" I scream loudly. "So what!" I try and calm my breathing and speak normally. "Let's just get out of here, please."

Spencer stands still, her eyes wide and shiny and more breath-taking than ever before.

"Please, Spencer, please." I beg. I almost feel as if tears are running down my throat, drowning me.

"Do you want me to be sent away?" She asks me roughly. "I can't. If I go with you she'll do _something_."

I feel like I'm going to throw up. I never knew your heart could actually, physically hurt. Like someone is squeezing it way too tightly. Squeezing something that should be handled with care.

"She's already done something! Why are you letting her invade your mind like that?" I say as I wipe these goddamn burning tears from my cheeks and eyes.

"Me?! You're afraid of her too! Ashley, please, don't let her rip us, _this_, apart." She says, her voice hoarse and full of sadness.

"Tell that to yourself. Just, just get rid of her." I say stupidly.

I see Spencer's eyes get angry and her mouth tightens. "I can't do that! She's my _mother_! What- what are you talking about? What the _fuck_ is even going on here?!" Spencer rushes out of her mouth harshly. And the words are all jumbled and exasperated.

I rub my hands over my face and yell loudly into them. The sound comes out muffled and stressed. My own yell hurts my ears and I want to kick something. I want to break a window. I want to throw a brick at my car. I want to pound my fist into Paula's face.

"I can't deal with this." I say loudly after taking my hands away. "This is so not right."

Spencer snaps her head violently to the side, taking her eyes away from mine.

And when her blue eyes break away from mine, it is in that very moment that I know I've lost her.

"You are not the only one dealing with this, Ashley. You are _not_ the one living with her." Spencer says evenly.

I look all around. Willing her blue eyes to come back to mine, but they won't. My hands curl into fists. My fingernails dig excruciatingly hard into my palms.

"What about what you said, that it doesn't matter. What about her not being able to stop you? What about that Spencer? I can't- I don't know what to do. I don't know how to fix this. It's too hard." I breathe out.

I am crying now, all thoughts out of my mind. I choke on a tear and cough. I can't fucking see, my sight is so fucking blurry. And the fucking salt is burning my eyes.

Spencer looks back at me. She doesn't say anything. She looks back at her house and then her eyes meet mine. They burn into me harshly.

I can't take this silence anymore. It's worse than the yelling, by far. "Would you say something." I say dully. The emotions in my voice have all been used up.

Spencer keeps staring at me. I don't know what's going on. I'm scared.

"I don't know what to say!" She yells suddenly. Her hands go up and down in the air with the rise and fall of her words.

I want to move but my feet seem to be stuck to the blades of grass. Almost as if with super-glue.

"Spencer-" I start to say weakly but she interrupts me.

"You saying it's too hard doesn't help!" She says loudly. "I'm not doing this." She reverses her tone and says it so quietly I'm not sure if I even heard her.

I don't know what to do. I don't know what to say. I try to gulp air down but it's not working. I am suffocating.

At first when she said 'I'm not doing this' I thought she meant that she needs me right now by her side to fix this. That she's not going to fight with me when we so blatantly need each other the most right now.

But one look at her face, at her gorgeous face distorted from the mixture of both our words, I know better. She means that _we're_ not doing this. We're not doing this anymore.

Again, we are quiet.

I know I should speak. I know I should say something. All my anger is now gone and all I desperately want to do is take everything we both said back, and kiss her. Make it better.

But I can't.

Her voice comes out dull and slow. Defeated. "Just go home, Ash."

I look at her and my chest constricts painfully. "I want to fix this. Let me go back and do- something." I say too weakly. It's not enough.

Spencer sighs. Her whole body collapsing into itself. "Go home. I have to do this."

And then she walks away from me and back into the house. She doesn't look back at me. She doesn't give me a kiss goodbye. She doesn't hug me goodnight. She doesn't do anything.

But I don't do anything either. I don't think I am able to right now.

This is what being truly miserable must feel like.


	26. Play Crack The Sky

**Soooo I got very mixed thoughts about how Ashley and Spencer acted. Honestly, what I wanted to do was just show that both of them had no idea how to handle it. I personally thought it could go both ways. They both kind of messed up. I can say from personal experience that when something like this happens, you have no idea what to do, say, or how to act. So whatever comes out just comes out. And sometimes it's just not good. For me, at least. Anyway, don't hate on Ashley too bad lol. But hey, to each their own.  
Anyway, I hope you like this one =)  
Thank you everyone for reading and reviewing!  
Much love. **

**Ashley's POV**

Spencer is not in school today. I do not know what that means. Is Paula holding her hostage? Is Paula planning to send her away to some camp where they make you wear beige and dig holes? I wouldn't put it past that fucking devil-woman. But the worst thing about this, this whole shit-show, is that I have no idea. I don't know what's going on.

I have not called Spencer. I should have. She has not called me. She should have.

It's both of our faults. I know that.

Right after I left her house I felt sick to my stomach. Totally sick to my stomach as I replayed our whole fight on her front lawn. Was I acting out of anger? Yes. Was I acting out of nervousness, nervousness of losing her? Yes. Was I acting like a fool?

Yes.

I know I should call her but I don't know if it's that I can't bring myself to do it. Or that I'm scared to do it. Scared to see what's really going on. Scared that I have no clue how to fix this.

Oh, how badly I want to.

I skip my class before lunch and go out to the back of the school. In my hand is a cigarette. I haven't smoked in years. It was never something that I did consistently. One here or there. A couple when I would be drunk. Everyone smokes when they're drunk. It's like a free pass or something.

I light the stick with a small, black Bic lighter, watching the flame appear and disappear in a matter of seconds. That's all it takes. The smoke spirals out of the tip as I take a drag, coughing lightly because my lungs are not used to this. I am envious of that smoke. It goes upwards towards the sky in a steady stream, then it kind of spirals out of control before disappearing. I am kind of like that smoke.

Honestly, I just needed something in my hand. Something to do with my fingers. And the safest thing seemed to be this cigarette that I bummed off of some freshman in gym class.

I lean my head against the brick building and close my eyes. The shadow feels good from being in the sun. It's cool. This nicotine doesn't even feel that good. It doesn't even taste that good. Right now, all I want to taste is Spencer and her citrus-y smelling skin. This cigarette has nothing on that girl.

She never liked it whenever I smoked, even if it was on a rare occasion.

"_Ashley, why do you even bother with that?" Spencer asked me as we walked to my car after a day at the beach. _

_This was early in our friendship. When I was trying to figure out why I liked hanging out with this new girl so much. I usually didn't bother with new people. They were annoying. They got lost. They needed help. I had no time for that. _

"_I don't know." I said as I threw my towel into my bag. "It's something to do." _

_Spencer smirked. "There are better things to do than smoke, you know." _

_Her eyes were very blue. I even thought she was wearing those color contacts when I first saw her. And her hair was very bright. It was blonde, but she definitely did not fit that blonde stereotype. She was pretty. She wasn't like girls I fucked around with at Slant or other places. Those girls were hot and fuckable and leaveable. Spencer was gorgeous in a shy way, she was cute, and she was adorable when her eyebrows scrunched together in thought. I didn't get why I kept hanging out with her all those years ago. Something about her drew me to her. _

_Maybe it was her smile. Her smile was in no way leaveable. _

_Or maybe it was how she giggled at my stupid jokes. Jokes other girls would give me a weird look for and call me a loser. _

"_Smoking is cool and you know it, Spencer Carlin." I told her seriously. _

_She shrugged. "I don't think so." _

_I looked at her standing on the hot black pavement with her polka-dot bathing suit on. Her boy shorts made her butt look cute and squeezable, I noticed. _Of course_ I noticed. _

"_Is it this hot all the time?" She said as she squinted and tilted her head up towards the sky. She put a hand over her eyes, shielding them from the bright sun. _

_I just looked at her and smiled. I didn't smirk, I didn't grin. I just plain smiled. Then I took the cigarette dangling from my fingers and dropped it on the ground, crushing it with the toe of my sandal._

_Perhaps subconsciously, at the time, I thought that if I was smoking, maybe this girl would never kiss me. Or maybe she wouldn't like the way I smelled. Subconsciously, I wanted to make sure I smelt good and tasted good if ever a time came when I would need to. But at that very moment, I just put it out because it bothered her a little. I didn't want it to bother her anymore. _

_Spencer looked back at me and grinned widely. "I'm gunna have you so whipped, Davies." She said evenly. It was a bold statement coming from the shy girl I had just met not too long ago. I inwardly scoffed at her. Thinking: _yeah? And what makes you so different?

_But all I did was smirk. "Yeah, we'll see." I said. _

My cigarette is just hanging in my hand and I haven't even noticed it's done now. I flick it with two fingers far away from me, scolding myself for even smoking it. What did it do? Did it make me feel better? No. I forced myself to stop thinking about things like that memory. Because it was making my insides constrict painfully and my eyes burn. I didn't like it. Not at all.

Part of me thought I should just go to Spencer's house, knock on her door, tell her I love her, and kiss her lips. Say that I don't give a shit about Paula or anything. Anything but her. The other part of me thought that that was a bad idea. It would just make Paula more mad at me, make Spencer angrier about the situation with her mother. I didn't want to make it any harder than it already is. Maybe I should just…go away. This is something between Spencer and Paula. This is something Spencer would have to do. And I know she can, I knew she would eventually find the words.

Thinking these things was just making me angrier and angrier. So I decided to just think nothing.

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When I walk over to the picnic table at lunch, no one says anything. Robin glances at Kyla, Aiden glances at Chelsea, Court glances at Aiden. Silence. It figures. I told Kyla everything when I came home yesterday afternoon. I had to. She has never seen me cry before. So I'm sure Kyla told everyone.

I sit down quietly and meet no one's eyes.

"It's not a fucking funeral, you don't have to act like mourners." I finally say, having to break this ungodly cricket-worthy silence.

"Ash, are you okay?" Aiden says softly. He touches my arm in a comforting gesture but I pull away.

"I'm fantastic. I would tell you all what happened but I'm sure Kyla already took care of that." I spit out. It was too mean. Too caustic. They didn't do anything, but I couldn't help it.

Kyla actually looks regretful when I meet her eyes. They're sad and she speaks quietly, but evenly. Not in a mocking way. "I'm sorry. I actually only told Aiden and Robin." She pauses and frowns at me. "Sorry."

"I told Court." Aiden says, looking at Court. I see him take Court's hand under the table, to be in secret. And I am instantly reminded of the way I took Spencer's hand when Aiden and Court were fighting. I know what it means. It means that they're happy to have each other right now. Because unlike the way I don't have Spencer right now, they _do_ have each other. And I hate that. I absolutely loathe being on the other side of that equation.

I look at Chelsea. She's the only one who knows, but not from me or Kyla. Her brow is furrowed when she meets my eyes. I am willing her to say what I have already assumed.

Process of elimination.

"Spencer told me." She says finally. "I had to go to her house last night to borrow a text book and well, you know. She told me what happened.'

"Oh." Is all I say. "Where is she?" I ask in a voice that sounds detached from my body.

Chelsea looks at me and I see her holding back her shocked expression.

"You, you didn't talk to her?" She asks, trying to keep her voice even.

I shake my head no. No, I didn't talk to her. I thought she was going to call me after she told me to leave her house. _Just go home, Ash_. But she never did. The phone never rang. And all I could think the whole night was if I should be calling her. And then I thought maybe I should just go back, like I did when we fought about Robin. But this was so much bigger and more complicated than fighting over some stupid girl. Jealousy would have been a fucking tea party compared to this ordeal.

I guess me shaking my head and my lack of words is the cue to stop everyone from talking about it. They all start talking about something else. I don't know what it is. I don't care what it is. I rest my elbows on the table and put my head down. The sun is making me hot. And uncomfortable.

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The whole rest of the day Spencer doesn't come in and I go from class to class. To class to parking lot. To parking lot to- Kyla.

"Ashley." She says my name as I am close to my car. I turn around sluggishly.

"Ky, don't you have dance." I ask.

"Yeah, yeah. I just wanted to catch you first." She says hurriedly.

"What." I ask boredly. I just want to go home.

"Look." She starts, putting her hands on her hips. Something that tells me what she's going to say is pretty serious. "I know you're upset but-"

I cut her off. "I don't wanna talk."

"You need to fix this Ashley. Stop being selfish." She says to me, ignoring my plea.

I immediately feel something in me flare. "This is none of your business Kyla."

She sighs, ignoring my words. "Seriously, it's dumb, fix-"

I cut her off again, but more hostile this time. "Why do _I _have to?!" I yell probably more loudly than was needed. "Why me? I said I wanted to fix it, but she told me to _go home!_" I say loudly, bringing my voice down a notch. But that doesn't stop my chest from pounding with hurt and anger.

"Alright, okay." Kyla puts her hands up, trying to calm me.

And for the first time I see actual fear in my sister's eyes. We've always fought. But it's always been between us and a big semi-joke. This is not a joke and it's not cute little banter. Her eyes are showing me she's scared of me. And that makes my head spin. Because what if Spencer felt the same way? I feel that sickness in my stomach coming back.

"You're right, but you also told me you said it was too hard." Kyla continues. "Well, I can only imagine how hard it is, I'm not saying I know. But you have to try."

"I don't know what to do. I don't want to mess up anymore." I admit weakly. "Look, just, go to practice. Let me go home."

And with that, I turn my back and get into the car, leaving Kyla standing in the parking lot with an expression on her face that I can't read.

I am so angry and infuriated at everything that I drive home like an ass. It is a miracle that I didn't get into a car accident. All I do when I get home is lay down in my bed and try to go to sleep. Part of me knows I want to cry. But no tears come out. They won't fall. They're resisting. And I've never wanted them to fall more.

I should call her. Maybe I should call her.

I call her.

The phone rings four times and then she answers. Spencer pauses a second before saying "Hey." I know she knows it's me. She has caller ID.

"Why weren't you in school." I say quickly. It is the first thing that comes out of my mouth. _That was so stupid_ I think.

"I, I just wasn't. Look, I can't talk right now." Spencer says quietly.

"What? Why?" I ask, my tone rougher than I want it to be.

"Because, my mother-" she starts but I cut her off immediately at the mere mention of Paula.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" My voice says. I don't even realize how it must sound on the other end of the phone. I try to calm down. "I, I haven't talked to you in a day Spencer. I'm so sorry, I need y-"

But now Spencer cuts my rambling off. "_Ashley_, stop it." She hisses at me and I can feel my heart rate pick up speed. And not in a good way. "I'll talk to you tomorrow at school, alright?"

"What, no, just talk to me now, please." I try to say strongly but it comes out sounding like I am begging. Maybe I am.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow at school. I promise."

"I don't want you to _promise_!" I hiss out.

There is a pause. "Then what the hell do you want?!" She says roughly.

"I fucking want you to _want_ to talk to me!" I yell.

This is not turning out how I wanted it to. Nothing is getting accomplished, I don't even know what we're fighting about anymore.

"I have to go. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight Ashley." Spencer says quietly, almost like she's scared of talking to me for any longer.

"Fine." I spit and hang up.

I look at my phone, the words flashing _Call Ended, Call Ended, Call Ended_. I throw my cell phone hard against my door.

I hear the screen crack.


	27. The Dumbing Down Of Love

**Spencer's POV**

"_Spencer_. Get off of the phone right now, we're eating." My mothers says a little roughly as I am sitting in the living room.

I sigh and that nervous feeling overcomes my body. Like it's taking over. It's been doing that for the past twenty-four hours.

"I have to go. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight Ashley." I say quietly into the phone so I don't get bitched at again.

Right before I am about to hang up I hear Ashley's hurt, rough voice. "Fine." And the line goes dead.

Is it possible to hate yourself more than any one else? More than the one person who is violently tearing your world apart? More than the one person who seems to make you weak and unable to just say what you feel, and feel what you say? It is making me sick to my stomach that I cannot just say the words to her. Tell my mother to Fuck off.

I want to say it. But I want to say it like I _mean_ it. And that is what I am trying to work up towards.

Dinner is not good. I sit in silence, refusing to speak. My mother is blathering on about something or other; her job, church, whatever the hell is important to her.

But what about what's important to me?

My eyes move from my plate for the first time in what must be fifteen minutes. Glen is talking about his basketball game now. My eyes meet my father's and I see that his might be as sad as mine are. I feel my eyes get watery. They're kind of stinging and I look down again. Unable to stop the tear from coming down my cheek.

"Glen." I hear my father's voice say suddenly. My head snaps up to look at him and he has a weird expression in his face.

"Uh, yeah dad?" Glen says with his mouth full of pasta. He chews and takes sip of Gatorade.

My mother continues to just eat.

"Glen." My dad says again. "Is your sister happy?" He says evenly.

I glance at Glen and he looks surprised. He coughs a little on his Gatorade and I see my mother stop eating and look at my dad. I meet Glen's eyes and his blue ones look confused but knowing at the same time. Glen knows everything. I told him everything after it happened. I told him about the fight between me and Ashley. The fight that I am still trying to figure out in my head.

Glen blinks at me and then turns his head to look at our dad. "No." He says. "Spence isn't good."

My dad blinks at him and I see him give Glen a faint smile. "See this, Paula. You're making your daughter unhappy." He says extremely evenly. It's kind of scary. The words would seem like they would be used in a rough tone. But he strays from that and looks calm. Which, I think, give his words a bigger, more effective punch.

"Me? No I'm not, this can all be sorted out fine." She says in a stupid calm voice. But I see her eyes staring daggers at my dad.

My dad ignores her and his eyes meet mine. They look slightly larger through his glasses. But they look sad. Those eyes give me a little boost of confidence. Glen's words give me some confidence. And my dad makes me feel at ease, well, as at ease that I can feel right about now.

"No mom, you _are_." I stand up from my chair and she just looks at me. "You just sit there and eat your pasta, but know that you're making me sad." I say slowly and then I walk out of the room and up the stairs.

I want to say more. I want to scream and yell. But nothing more comes out and that's all that my throat can handle. I can feel myself steadily working my way up, though, to standing up to her. It would be cliché to say I just went ahead and told her off. I can't do that. Maybe some people can. But I can't. It's my mother. She will always be my mother. No matter what happens I can't change that. I don't want to lie to myself and say that I would be able to just waltz downstairs and bitch her out in the way she deserves to be. Not just yet.

Part of me desperately wants to do that. That part is asking, _what are you waiting for, Spencer?_ You've screwed up enough already, don't screw up anymore. I don't think my heart can afford to screw up anymore. It hurts too badly already. And I know this is a fight that I have to handle with my mother. Yes, it has things to do with Ashley. But it also has things to do with just my mother and I. Will Ashley and I be together forever? I can't predict the future. And I can't have this situation happen time and time again. The only thing I know for sure is that I'm gay, and whatever happens to me for the rest of my life, whoever spends the rest of my life with me, that person will be a girl. A female. And that is the important part of this situation. The part I have to handle.

Or else I don't think I will be able to survive.

I have no energy left in me. So I just go to bed. I go to bed after I've cried for I don't know how long. Because there's school tomorrow. And school tomorrow involves Ashley. I know she's mad at me. And she has every right to be. I'm so mad at me too I can barely breathe. I also know that I'm mad at her. For things she said and things she didn't say. But I don't blame her for being pissed and upset with me.

I know I am a coward.

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I make my way nervously through the first part of my day in the morning cautiously. I don't see Ashley. I saw her car in the parking lot this morning but I haven't seen her at all. I don't see her the whole day. Not even at lunch and I don't get it. I don't know where she is. I avoid the picnic table at lunch after I see Ashley is not there. I don't feel like talking to anyone about this. So I keep to myself in the library. The air conditioning feels good, it feels as comfortable as I can get today.

I finally catch Ashley after school in the parking lot. And only because I wait by her car for her to come out of the school. I see her walking towards me on the grass, shades on, tight jeans, simple black t-shirt. Her hair almost looks reddish from the bright sun. In her right hand is a cigarette. She ashes it and takes a drag.

I inwardly frown to myself. I hate when she smokes and she knows it. But I know she's only smoking for serious reasons. Unless she's drunk, which I'm really hoping is not the case.

When she gets to me she just stands in front of me. Shades still on. Cigarette still in hand.

"Where were you all day?" I say as I break the uncomfortable silence that had enveloped us in a tight bubble.

She shrugs and flicks the cigarette away, after taking one last pull. "Skipped some classes." She slides her sunglasses up onto the top of her head. Her eyes look tired. I see her come towards me, and then she hesitates. Her eyes dart away and then back to mine, and I guess she finally decides to hug me.

I melt easily into her. It is amazing what one, just one, day apart can do. As horrible as this situation is, this simple hug is the best thing that has ever happened to me right now. I love this hug almost as much as I love her. But she smells like smoke. The smoke covers up some of the smell that is Ashley. I like the latter better.

Ashley finally lets go, having held on a little too long. We both did. She blinks slowly and looks at my shoulder. "Why did that feel like a goodbye hug." She states slowly, her eyes coming to mine. They're not as twinkly and bright as usual.

"It's not a goodbye hug. What." I say, confused by her statement.

"Then why did it feel like that." She says dully.

My heart is breaking into smaller pieces by the sound of her words. There is no push or passion in them, like there always is.

"It's not." I repeat strongly. "Ashley, we are not done, okay? This is ridiculous. Whatever happened, happened. But I am telling you now, that nothing is going to keep me from you." I tell her. And I didn't know that that is what I was going to say until the words fell out of my mouth.

"Did you tell _her_ that?" Ashley asks me. Her brown eyes are probing mine.

Her. My mother.

I take a breath. "I, I just need time. But I will. I swear." I say, my voice is getting to the cracking point. I try to make it stronger.

I see Ashley swallow and she looks away. "Have you said those exact words to her yet?" She asks quietly.

I look at her, wishing her eyes would come back to me. The sun is making me hot and sweaty and uncomfortable.

"Wha- what words?" I ask.

"What you just said, _that nothing is going to keep me from you_." She repeats exactly what I just said a few seconds ago.

My heart starts to hurt in my chest. It's pounding kind of hard and I'm not enjoying it very much. "No." I say simply. Because I haven't. I have not said those exact words to my mother yet. I've said them to Ashley. But I have yet to say them to my mother. I am now realizing that Ashley is not going to believe those words until I speak them to the one woman that is hurting me.

Her.

_Us_.

Ashley nods, putting her sunglasses back on to hide her eyes. From the sun. Or perhaps from me.

"Let me, let me come w-with you." She says, stuttering.

I sigh. "This is not about you Ashley. This is something I have to do myself. Deal with this."

She hangs her head down. "You're right. Look Spencer, I'm so sorry for how I acted. All I want is you, and I was just scared."

She looks back at me and I think she's expecting me to come to her, to hug her. But I can't and I'm not really sure why. I don't say anything and we just stand there.

"Right." Ashley says, and she walks away from me. Just like I waked away from her when we were fighting on my front lawn. It seems forever ago, but really, it was only two days ago. And maybe I _deserve_ to be walked away from. I watch her drive away fast, and I am still standing on the pavement, unable to move. My heartbeat is fast and I'm trying to take large gulps of air.

That was bad. That was not good at all.

But that _is_ all it took. That conversation. Seeing Ashley walk away from me. That is what it took to snap me out of this stupid daze that I seemed to have been in.

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My heartbeat is, if at all possible, faster than it was in the parking lot talking to Ashley than it is now, in my dining room. It's so hard that my chest is puffing up and down. My mother is sitting at the table with a glass of milk. She looks up at me as soon I come into the room. The loud slamming of the door obviously startling her.

She looks back down at her magazine and says, without looking at me: "Spencer, there is _no_ need to slam the door."

I actually feel my eyes flare and my whole conversation with Ashley, from just a short time before, flashes before my eyes.

"I don't care." I say through gritted teeth.

My mother's head snaps up. "_Excuse_ me, Sp-" She starts to say but I cut her off. Harshly. And I see the anger spreading throughout her eyes and in her face.

"No. I have some talking to do right now. And you're going to _listen_ to me. Look, mother, I know you think that I'm doing this horrible thing by being gay. That you don't like Ashley and you won't _tolerate_ me having a girlfriend. Well you know what? I didn't choose to be like this, and to be perfectly honest, I wouldn't have chosen any other way. Because I _love_ Ashley. And she is the one person who has always loved me unconditionally."

I take a breath and my mother goes to open her mouth, but I keep talking. Thinking that if I stop, I might never be able to start up again.

"I want you to know, _that nothing is going to keep me from her._ Nothing. I'm gay, mom. And you being like this, it's hurting me so much you have no idea. You're my mother, and the fact that you won't accept this, or let me be happy, is breaking my heart. What's left of it at least. Why are you sitting here, making your only daughter miserable? I love you, mom. I always will. But right now, it is only because I have to. _Not_ because I want to."

I stop talking and my eyes are burning into hers. Her face is showing shock and confusion. I feel, for the millionth time in the past few days, a lone tear fall down my face. And I feel like a total idiot for smiling slightly. But I can't help it.

Because every single thing I just said was true. And it needed to be said. And if I'm cocky for being insanely proud of myself, then so be it.

Better late than never, right?

With that, I turn swiftly around and go to my room. My mother does not follow me. She doesn't say anything at all. Not for the rest of the day. I thought she might at least yell. I guess she doesn't even care enough to yell at me about it.

I don't know what else to do now, so I just go to sleep. And the fact that my mother doesn't even care enough to yell at me. To say anything in response to me. That, mixed with everything else, makes me cry myself to sleep.


	28. Keeping Me Alive

01shane01**: I am honored that my writing can make you feel better :) I'm ready to fight with the world pretty much everyday and writing this story calms me down. As does yours, and everyone's reviews.**

**Um. I love all of you. For real. Can we hang out? **

**Spencer's POV**

I am lying in my bed and I feel numb. I can imagine that this is what being on drugs might be like. I wish I were on drugs. I can imagine how heroine feels flowing into your system after the coldness of the needle pierces your skin. Or how cocaine rushes up your nose through a dollar bill.

But I'm completely sober. And completely numb.

I look up at my ceiling. _What am I doing?_ I think. I am hoping that my ceiling is going to give me the answers. It is going to tell me a magic spell to use on my mother. Or maybe to use on myself. Please ceiling, fix this for me. I have no more options.

I have not been with Ashley for almost a week. That might not seem like a long time, but it feels like it is the longest we have ever gone without _being_ since we've known each other. It feels like forever, a never-ending forever. And I hate it.

_What am I doing?_ I think again.

It has come abundantly clear that Ashley is the only person I care about. I thought I cared what my mother thought. I really did. But I was wrong. So very, very wrong. Now, I could care less about what she does to me because being like this, without the second half of my heart, is like torture. I'll be walking along, and suddenly I just can't breath. Out of nowhere.

_What am I doing?_

I reach over to my nightstand to get my water bottle, and when I do I knock a notebook to the ground. I don't think about it until I see a folded index card slip out and onto my floor. I stare at it for a second before I gingerly pick it up with shaking hands and read it.

_**Spencer,**_

_**I can't concentrate in this class. And it's all your fault. I'm trying to write down these notes but images of your head keep popping up in my mind. You and your soft, kissable red lips and gorgeous baby blue eyes that sparkle in the sun. All the time. Sometimes they're a darker blue, like when I touch you a certain way or when you're really turned on. But they're my favorite color when you look at me and smile. You look at me like I'm everything to you. And you're everything to me. You're better than being mean to Kyla, better than sex. But you and sex combined are also really nice. So stop invading my mind. Because you are all I ever think about, and I kind of hope I'm all you think about, too. I love you, Spencer. Probably more than I'll ever love anyone, or anything for the rest of my life. **_

_**Ashley**_

Tears are dripping down onto my bed as I finish reading. Ashley gave me that note a while ago, and I'd read it before. But right now, right this instance, it has never meant more to me.

_What am I doing?_

My heart starts to pound fast and hard in my chest. I need to go change this right now. This is stupid. This whole thing is stupid. It's dumb. It's unintelligent. It makes no sense.

Just as I am getting up and out of my bed, my phone rings. I don't have time for whoever that is. I've already wasted enough time.

My phone rings again and I look and see that it is Kyla and it was Kyla before as well. I pick it up as I pull on my shoes.

"What Kyla." I say into the phone.

"Spencer?" Kyla asks.

"Yes! What do you want?" I say roughly into the stupid piece of plastic that is slowing me down.

"I'm having a problem here and I think you should come over." She says lightly. But I can hear the nervousness in her voice.

"I was actually just about to come over." I say. Then I stop doing whatever it is that I'm doing. "Is it Ashley?" I ask quietly. My heart skips a beat. My mind wanders to all of the worst possible scenarios. Car accidents. Hospitals. Tornadoes. Vampires.

"Yes, yes, but stop breathing so heavily it's fine." Kyla rushes out, reading my mind like she always can. "She's just really drunk and she won't let me in her room. I just- look, I just don't want her to do anything stupid."

"I'll be right there." I feel like the worst person in the world when I smile. It's horrible, but I am just thankful it is not something that could potentially be so much worse. Ashley has done this before, so I try to calm my breathing by telling myself I know how to handle it.

I bound down my stairs and grab the car keys.

"And where are you going?" My mother asks me, walking out of the kitchen with a glass of milk in her hand. This is the first thing she has said to me since I gave my "speech."

I look roughly at her. I'm so done with all of her bullshit. I'm just mad it took me so long to realize I don't care about her. Because if she cared about me how I thought she did, she wouldn't be like this. This wouldn't be happening. She would have spoken to me when I told her all those things.

But she never did.

"I'm going to Ashley's house, _mother_. My girlfriend, who I'm in love with." I say evenly while putting my jacket on.

My mom snorts and sneers at me. "I don't think so." She says.

My heart pounds hard and a smirk appears on my face, I can feel it. "I don't give a flying _fuck_ what you think." I hiss at her.

The last thing I hear as I walk out of the door is the glass she was holding smash to the ground.

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"What's going on?" I ask Kyla hurriedly as she lets me in the house. I throw my purse and jacket on the couch in the living room.

Kyla sighs heavily. I see the worry in her eyes. "She went out with Aiden and Court and apparently drank way too much. They brought her home about an hour ago. She was insisting that she go to your house to apologize and fix everything, but I was so not letting her do that in a drunken state."

"Why the hell did they let her drink that much?" I ask Kyla roughly as I head upstairs.

She shrugs. "You know those two, they're like in their own separate world when they're together. Like you and Ash."

My heart flutters at her words and I frown.

Kyla continues. "And you know, Spencer, you two are so stupid. This whole huge blow-out or whatever."

"Kyla." I say evenly. "I know."

"You obviously can't function without each other-"

"_I know._" I cut her off.

"Good. And I know my sister can be an ass, but she does love you. And you love her, for whatever reason that may be." She says to me when we get to Ashley's bedroom door. "Ashley!?" Kyla yells into the door.

I hear nothing inside. And then I hear Ashley's voice, hard and rough, and slightly slurred. "Fuck off Kyla!"

Kyla looks at me pointedly. I take the library card out of my back pocket. The one I knew I would be needing to open the door. I jiggle it by the lock in between the wall and the door.

Once the door slides open just a little bit I take a breath.

"Good luck." Kyla says quietly and kisses my cheek. With that, she heads downstairs.

I walk into the room slowly and close the door behind me. I'm guessing that the lump under the covers of her bed is Ashley.

"Ash?" I say quietly as I approach her. I slip my shoes off, putting them at the end of her bed.

The lump shifts just a tiny bit. "Spencer?" She says in a slurred voice.

I sit down on the bed next to her. Her whole body including her head is under the covers. All I can see are some wild, brown curls slipping out. I stop myself from laughing.

This is _so_ not the time.

"Yeah it's me." I say softly, moving the cover to expose her head. Her face is buried in a pillow, and then it is looking up at me with the saddest brown eyes I have ever seen in my life.

If I thought my heart was broken before, I was, again, wrong. The sight of those eyes makes it break.

She doesn't say anything for a moment and I see her eyes go in and out of focus.

"I don't feel good." Ashley mumbles, her eyes still on mine. They never leave mine.

I frown slightly. "I know baby." I bring my hand to run it through her messy curls, massaging her scalp lightly. Her eyes flutter at the motion.

"I need you." Ashley says lightly as her hand grabs at my shirt, trying to pull me closer.

I feel my eyes getting watery. "I need you too." I whisper.

I lay myself down next to her, getting under the covers and pull her body so that I'm holding her against me. I hear her let out a small whimper when her body meets mine. I can feel her heart beating extremely fast and hard against me.

"Ashley, can you try and breathe steadily for me?" I ask her softly as I press a kiss to the side of her head.

"Okay." She mumbles from my shoulder. I feel her grip me tighter to her, though she is very tense in my arms. Her hands are desperately clinging to my back. Her breathing on my neck is slowly starting to calm down. "Spence?" She asks quietly.

"Yeah?" I whisper to her, rubbing soft circles on her back.

"Will you stay here with me?" She asks in an amazingly sober voice.

My heart flutters again and I close my eyes. "I'm not leaving you."

I feel her relax totally into my body and her breathing go back to normal.

When I wake up, I find myself squished warmly into Ashley's side with my arm draped over her stomach. My eyes open and they are met with hers. Ashley does not even cover the fact that she was watching me, and it makes me blush.

"How do you feel?" I ask groggily. I'm afraid to move my arms or my body. I'm afraid she might pull away.

"I'm okay." She says in a hoarse, quiet voice.

She never breaks her eyes away from mine and that gives me the confidence to pull her into me more. My hand across her stomach rubbing her side.

"Ashl-" I start to say but she cuts me off abruptly.

"I can't live without you Spencer." She blurts out quickly.

It is impossible to stop the smile that is spreading across my face. "Way to be dramatic, Ash." I say lightly, touching my forehead to hers.

She rolls her eyes and I see her smile. That smile that makes my heart swell and melt with love for this girl all at the same time.

"I just thought you should know." She says, her eyes twinkling.

"I can't live without you either. I am so sorry." I whisper. I bring my mouth to kiss her cheek, then her forehead. "I love you so much." I say against the side of her nose. And I kiss her other cheek and the very side of her mouth.

I hear Ashley let out a weird little whimpering sound and then she rolls me on top of her. Her hands on the small of my back. "I love you too. And I'm the one who's sorry. For being an idiot. For totally attacking you when you needed me. God, I'm so sorry. " She says huskily.

I bring both of my hands to the sides of her face. I kiss the other edge of her mouth and along her jaw line. I kiss where her ear and jaw connect.

"What about Paula?" Ashley moans out as I kiss her ear.

"You're all that matters to me. I told her, that nothing would ever keep me from you. Nothing." I whisper to her neck right before I kiss the soft, delicious skin there, too.

I feel Ashley's hand go under my chin to bring my face to hers. And then she kisses me. Jesus, I missed this. Softly at first and then deeper. I moan into her mouth when her tongue meets mine and I feel myself start to tingle and ache all over. Ashley's hands move up and under my shirt, scratching my back softly. It just adds to the immense arousal I am feeling right now. And when they go inside my pants to grab my ass I grunt into her soft mouth.

"God, I love you so much Spencer." Ashley moans when I lick her neck lightly. Her hands are still in my pants, rocking me against her lightly.

I smile lightly and kiss her lips again. "I missed you." I tell her, my eyes meeting hers.

"Show me." Ashley murmurs and kisses me again, with much more urgency than before.

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I cling to Ashley tightly as we make our way downstairs. We haven't let go of each other since I got into her bed last night. We couldn't.

"Glen?" I say as I see my blonde, curly-haired brother standing in the kitchen.

"Spencer?" He says, looking at me holding tightly to Ashley.

"What are you doing here?" I ask as I finally let go of Ashley and go get a drink.

Glen shrugs. "Kyla called this morning, she was still worried." He glances at Ashley. "I guess everything is fine now."

Ashley beams at him. "Yeah, it is." She says.

"Where's Kyla?" I ask him

"In the bathroom I think. You know, I think mom lost the ability to speak after you left the house, I thought she was going to start screaming, but she was just silent for a really long time. And she broke that glass." Glen chuckles.

I smirk. "Oh yeah? Were you home?"

Glen nods and the laughs. "I would have loved to have seen her face when you said that."

"Me too." I laugh. "I just left."

Ashley looks at me from where she is sitting on the counter. "What? What did you say?"

Glen chuckles and I blush a little bit. "She asked me where I was going. I told her I was going to my girlfriend's house who I love. She said I don't think so, and then I said, um, I said I don't give a fuck what she thinks. And then I left." I finish, smiling slightly at the shocked expression on her face.

"A _flying_ fuck, I believe it was." Glen laughs deeply.

"Glen! There's a spider!" Kyla's voice yells from the bathroom. Glen sighs and then smiles a little bit as he leaves.

Ashley is still sitting on the counter, smirking at me.

"What?" I ask nervously as I walk over.

She pulls me in between her legs and runs her fingers along my collarbone. "You really said that?"

"Yes." I tell her seriously. "And I meant every single word." Ashley breaks into a wide smile, her nose scrunching up. I place my hands gently on her thighs and rub them softly.

"She probably had a stroke." Ashley chuckles, her gorgeous chocolate eyes twinkling brightly at me.

I laugh. "I don't think so. But I think it knocked her on her ass a little bit."

"_Finally_." Ashley says and rolls her eyes as she pulls me into her to hug me. I rest my head on her shoulder as her fingers rub the back of my neck. She lets out a content sigh when I kiss her neck softly.

"Come on." Ashley says quietly after a while, hopping down from the counter and taking my hand in hers. She starts to drag me back upstairs. "We have time to make up in my bed."

That is fine with me. _Definitely _ fine.

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**Leave some love for the love =D**


	29. Look After You

**=)  
**

**Ashley's POV**

The sound of a ringing cell phone brings me out of my peaceful nap. I feel Spencer stir in my arms and I just hold her tighter to me.

"Ash, I need to get it." She says with quiet laughter in her voice.

"Alright." I say sleepily as Spencer leans over me to grab her phone that is making noises.

Spencer has no shirt on. Repeat, Spencer has no shirt on and she is leaning across me. I groan as she leans back, breaking the warm contact.

"Hello?" She says into the cell phone.

"Oh hi dad." She says in a less nervous tone.

"Yeah, I'm at Ashley's house. I'm fine." Pause. "Sorry." She smiles slightly.

I look at her and see that her hair is all messy and all over her face. Her eyes are sleepy, some make up rubbed off around them. I smile at her even though she's not looking at me. I look at her neck and there are multiple dark red spots across it. Kind of like a hickey necklace. And one very low down on her collarbone.

"Really, are you sure?" Spencer says, taking me out of my staring contest with her body. She looks at me now, eyes scanning over face.

"Okay." She says with a grin on her face now, still looking at me. "Thanks dad." She adds warmly. "I love you too."

She hangs up and throws her phone to the end of the bed.

"Your dad?" I ask her as she cuddles back into me.

I feel her head nod against my chest. "Yeah. He wants you to come over for dinner tonight."

I blink. "Really?" I ask her, unsure. My hands rub her naked back softly, writing the words _I love you_ on her skin with my fingers.

"Yup." She says and yawns. "You'll come, right?" She asks, now looking up at me.

I meet her bright blue eyes and smile at her. "Of course." I tell her, trying to mask my nervousness. So much nervousness that it completely slips my mind to make a dirty joke at her words.

Spencer kisses the very bottom of my neck lightly, leaving her lips to rest there lightly for a minute. Then her lips move up my neck slowly, and I feel my breath hitch. Her hands come to thread through my hair, and she wastes no time before meeting her mouth with mine. I can't help but let out a moan when her teeth bite my bottom lip.

I just keep kissing her.

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Kyla's brown hair, Glen's curly-haired head, and Robin's short red hair, turn towards Spencer and I as we come down the stairs.

"What's this, some kind of party or something?" I say lightly as Spencer lets go of my hand.

"Yeah, party with the _Lifetime_ channel. Best party there is." Robin says while laughing. "But I bet your guys' party was way better." She smirks.

"Ew, Robin." Glen says, turning back to the TV.

I smile. "You know it."

I follow Kyla into the kitchen, leaving Spencer to talk to Robin and her brother.

"So is this a gathering of hook-up buddies for you?" I ask Kyla with raised eyebrows as she gets three drinks from the fridge.

"Ha ha. No, a gathering of friends." She answers.

I lean against the counter. "Really?"

Kyla turns around to face me and puts her hands in her pockets. "Yeah." She says seriously.

"So you and Robin…" I trail off, remembering their kiss from the road-trip. Jesus, that seems like a lifetime ago. Haha _Lifetime_, I made a joke.

Kyla nods. "Friends." She says, taking a sip of her soda. Her eyes are serious, but bright. "We're friends. And honestly, it's really nice that way. And the Carlin's make great friends too."

"And lovers." I say quickly, smirking.

Kyla gives me a look. "Shut up Ashley."

"Anyway." I say, taking away the humorous tone of the conversation. "Look, Ky, I'm, um, I'm sorry for being shitty to you the other day. You were right." I pause. "Fuck, I hate saying that to you." I laugh lightly.

Kyla laughs too. "Good, and I know I was right."

"Don't rub it in douche." I say.

Kyla smiles. "Someone needed to put you in your place. But it's all good. I can't speak as someone who has made all the greatest decisions."

"Obviously." I snort as we walk out of the kitchen. Kyla hits my back with the soda bottles.

"Are you coming to dinner, Glen?" Spencer asks her brother.

"No, I'm gunna chill here for a little. I need to know what happens to this kid in _Too Young To Be A Dad_." He says seriously, while his eyes are glued to the TV.

Robin snorts loudly.

"Um, okay Glen." Spencer says, rolling her eyes. "Ready?" She smiles at me.

I nod and take her hand. "See you later guys."

I hear a string of mumbled goodbyes and Kyla waves as we leave.

I immediately hop out the car when Spencer parks it in her driveway. Glad to be on solid ground again. Spencer is not the best driver. I know I drive fast, but at least I know what I'm doing. Spencer can't seem to concentrate on talking and driving at the same time and she almost ran over a squirrel. Even though she was driving as slow as my grandmother.

When we get to the door we pause before going inside. I'm nervous. And I hate that I'm nervous. I'm trying not to show it but I'm sure Spencer can tell. Maybe my nervous hands wringing together and picking at my frayed jean pockets give it away.

"Hey." Spencer says in a calming voice. She faces me and puts her hands on my shoulders, smoothing the wrinkles in my shirt. "Don't be nervous." She says, knowing.

"I'm trying." I tell her honestly.

Spencer smiles at me, and her hand comes to cup my cheek, stroking her thumb across it. "It'll be fine." Her blue eyes are looking right in mine. "It's you and me, Ash. Always."

I just look at her and I feel myself getting all choked up. Why I am becoming so emotional all of a sudden? I swallow and blink. Spencer's eyes looking warmly at mine make me feel incredibly tingly and complete. Safe.

"I love you." Is all I say.

Spencer brings my face to hers for a short, reassuring kiss. "And I love you." She tells me after she has pulled away.

And all of a sudden we're that couple that tells each other we love each other all the time. This does not bother me in the least. I always made fun of those people. Being all _give me a break._ But now I understand. If you seriously mean it, it makes sense. And I have never once said it and not meant it completely. I've heard so many people just say that phrase to say it, and I never wanted to be like that. I wanted it to mean something. And Spencer is the only person I have ever said it to. And the fact that it was to her, and only her, made it just that much more amazing.

Spencer takes my hand and opens the door, leading us inside. The house is dim, and all I can hear is faint music coming from the kitchen. Some kind of slow jazz. And I smell delicious food coming form the same area. Then I hear a low, gruff voice singing slightly off key to the music. I smile. Arthur.

We walk into the kitchen and I see Spencer's dad dancing slightly to the music while still singing and stirring something in a pot on the stove. This is when I realize something very important. As soon as I see him, and as soon as he turns around, with a big smile on his face.

One day. Some day. I want Arthur to be my father, too.

"Hello girls." He says and gives Spencer a kiss on the cheek. And then he gives me a kiss on the cheek and I feel so much better.

"Hi dad." Spencer says, going to get cups form the cabinet.

"That smells great, Mr. C." I say, leaning against the wall.

He turns around and smiles wide at me. "Good! I hope you like stew, Ashley. It was voted the best in Ohio."

I laugh. "Definitely."

"Glen's said he's gunna skip dinner." Spencer tells him, pouring some iced tea.

Arthur nods. "He told me. It'll just be us three then, is that alright with you guys?"

I shoot Spencer a confused look and she gives me one back.

"Um, where's mom?" Spencer asks her dad a little quietly.

"She," Mr. C. starts hesitantly, "had to take a shift at work."

"Oh. Okay." Is all Spencer says. Her eyes meet mine and they look weird.

"More food for us then." Mr. C says, giving me a wink as he carries the pot over to the counter.

Spencer, Arthur, and I all head into the dining room to eat. The stew is delicious and I have like three helpings of it. It's nice, talking to Mr. C and Spencer over dinner. It's calming and it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. As cheesy as that might sound. We talk about random things. Simple things. Sports. Spencer doesn't take part in this conversation as she knows nothing about any sports. We talk about school. And when Mr. C asks me how I am doing I tell him I'm only doing well because of Spencer.

"Oh yeah?" He says, smiling slyly. "Spence _is _kind of a nerd."

"Dad!" Spencer shrieks and laughs lightly.

"No, it's true." I snort while drinking my iced tea. "But seriously, if it wasn't for Spencer I would be doing horribly." And I say that meaning not just in school, but probably in every aspect of my life.

Mr. C smiles warmly at me and then at Spencer. "I'm glad to hear that. And I know that you make my daughter extremely happy." Spencer blushes slightly and ducks her head when he says that.

I do the same.

Arthur continues. "And I want you to know, Ashley, that I can see how much Spencer loves you. So, if my daughter loves you, then so do I." He finishes simply.

I cannot stop the goofy smile appearing on my face. And I cannot stop the way I feel so extremely safe. And I cannot stop the way my eyes feel kind of prickly at his words. And I now realize why Spencer is the way she is. She's all Arthur.

All wonderful.

"Thank you, Mr. C. That means a lot to me." I say to him, then smile at Spencer.

"Of course. And if you don't mind me saying something else?" He says, looking at Spencer, directing his words towards her. Spencer shakes her head, telling him to go on. "You're welcome here anytime Ashley." He says seriously. "And if I'm not home and you get problems, then I want you to feel free to come to me." He looks at me. "And I mean that. I won't have the kind of house where my daughter and her girlfriend are afraid to come to."

I have no idea what to say because that is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. Any adult has ever said to me. My mom has never given me problems, but she's never said anything like that. And Mr. C referred to me as Spencer's girlfriend. And that makes my heart feel good. No parent of any girl I have ever been with, hung out with, had anything with, has ever said anything like that to me.

I think Spencer can tell that I don't know what to say, even though I'm smiling like an idiot. "Thank you dad." She says to him warmly.

He nods his head. "Anyway. Help yourself to more. I know you want more Ashley, my stew is too good to deny." He laughs at himself.

I laugh with him and smile as I take more.

After we've all cleaned up the plates and stuff, Spencer and I start to head out. She has to drive me home and this is not something I am looking forward to. I hope that squirrel has enough sense to stay on the sidewalk.

Or maybe that's not even a safe place for it.

I take Spencer's hand as we head out the door, but before we can open it, it opens itself. And in walks Paula. _Of course_ it's Paula.

She stops walking for just a second, her face looking shocked. She only meets my eyes for, I'd say, half a second, and she doesn't even glance to Spencer. Then, she starts to walk again and goes right past us. She says nothing to her daughter. She doesn't even look at her daughter. She walks right past and that's it.

I look over at Spencer and her eyes are slightly wide. I cannot imagine what having your mother blatantly ignore you must feel like. I'm not even her daughter but I feel like shit. So I can't imagine what Spencer feels like right now.

"Spence?" I say quietly, squeezing her hand.

"Let's just go." She says, walking out the door. She tries to say this evenly, but I can sense the despair in her voice. I know her better than that.

Her hand grips mine almost painfully tight as we walk to the car and she only lets go when we're both in the car.

"She didn't even…acknowledge me." Spencer finally says. Her eyes are wide and I see the wetness just waiting to fall as they meet mine. "After everything I said to her. After all of that, she's just, just not going to talk to me?" She asks desperately and I hear a very small sob come from her after her words.

I don't know what to say, so I just bring her into me and hug her protectively. I feel her wrap her arms around me tightly. "She will eventually, she has to." I say quietly, stroking her hair. I feel another sob and then shortly after that, another.

"What if she doesn't?" She says through tears. "My own mother is gunna- hate me forever." She says quietly into my neck.

My heart is now hurting painfully at seeing Spencer like this. Spencer doesn't deserve this. And now is my chance to do something. Something I should have done before.

I let go of Spencer gently and open my door.

"What are you doing?" She asks me nervously.

I look at her. Meet her watery blue eyes. "You trust me, right Spence?" I ask her as I push some blonde hair from her face and behind her ear.

Spencer nods. "Of course."

I kiss her gently, get out of the car, and make my way back to the Carlin's front door. My heart beats nervously as I open the door and walk in. I don't ring the doorbell, I have no time to waste before my bravery leaves me. The sight of Spencer looking and feeling broken gives me the courage to do this. Mr. C's words give me the courage to do this. My _love_ for Spencer gives me the courage to do this.

Paula and Arthur are in the dining room talking. Their words are in rough tones and they don't sound happy. Arthur looks up when I enter the room and he looks surprised.

"Ashley, did you forget something?" He asks as Paula just looks at me with an annoyed look on her face.

"Uh no. I just need to say something. Look, _Paula_." I try not to let me voice get loud or angry. I want it to be even. I won't let myself lose control. Not now. "I know you don't like me, and I know you never have. And I never really liked you either. But right now, I _really_ don't like you, because Spencer is in the car all upset and crying and it's _your_ fault." I spit out the end of the sentence against my better judgement. "I don't give a shit if you don't like me, but you better not keep treating Spencer like this. Because it won't make me not love her. It will just make me hate you even more. And you're going to end up having your daughter hate you. Got it?" I end harshly, my eyes narrowed.

Paula stands up and there is fury in her eyes. "_Hey_, excuse me, I don't think-"

But she is cut off by Spencer's dad. "Don't you dare say anything you'll regret, Paula. And Ashley, even though you didn't really need to say 'shit', I'm proud of you."

I nod at him and shoot Paula one last glare. Then I leave and go back to Spencer. But I am surprised when Spencer is right outside the doorway. I guess she got restless in the car. Or nervous that I might give her mother a beating. Which I was close to doing.

Spencer doesn't say anything, but she's smiling softly. She just takes my hand in hers and leads me back outside.

And I will _always_ let her take my hand.


	30. Every Thug Needs A Lady

**Enjoy!  
Uhh, I was gunna say something else, but I forgot. **

**Ashley's POV**

I groan when Spencer's soft lips meet the flesh of my neck. I run my hands up and down her sides, and I feel hers slip in my shirt and go around my neck.

We never made it inside my house. We are now outside, in the driveway. And Spencer is straddling me in the passenger seat. I'm not sure how she got there. A goodnight hug turned into a goodnight kiss. And a goodnight kiss turned into a goodnight make-out session.

"You're amazing." Spencer says into my ear right before her tongue traces the outside edges of it.

I bring her mouth back to meet mine. My mouth needs her. I earn a moan from her when I suck gently on her delicious tongue. Her moan goes right through my mouth and right through my body. Therefore, my hands travel down her to her ass and I squeeze it gently, grinning into her mouth. Spencer's hands come to my chest.

"I should have done that so long ago." I breathe against her neck, and then kiss it forcefully.

"Mmhmm." Is all the noise she makes as I kiss the side of her neck.

A knock on my window interrupts me from Spencer's neck. I roll it down to find Robin standing right outside of it. Her eyebrows are scrunched up due to Spencer in my lap. Spencer doesn't even move off of me, which I am of course very happy about, as Robin starts to speak.

"Oh, sorry guys. I was just wondering if I could get a ride home?" She asks Spencer.

"Yeah sure. Give me a sec?" Spencer answers. Robin nods and goes to the other side of the car. I roll the window back up as Spencer goes back into the driver's seat.

"Are you okay to go home?" I turn to her, my voice laced with protection.

Spencer nods and smiles softly. "Yeah I think so. I have to sometime."

I nod. "Okay. Goodnight cutie." I smile at her as I peck her sweet lips.

I get out of the car and wink to her as I start towards the door. "'Night Robin." I yell over my shoulder.

And I feel like the biggest loser right now because I miss Spencer already. Geez, that girl seriously just turns me into a pile of mush. All the time.

Mush, mush, _mush_.

"How was your night?" I ask Kyla with a smile on my face as I walk into the kitchen. She's sitting on a stool, reading some kind of magazine.

Kyla doesn't look up when answering. "Why are you so chipper?"

I laugh at her, reaching across the counter to grab a poptart. They remind me of Spencer and I smile even more, like a stupid fool.

"No reason, just in a good mood I guess." I tell her when I sit down across from her.

"My night was pretty good." She says, flipping a page. "Me, Robin, and Glen watched like five million _Lifetime _movies. That's about it. How was your night?" She asks absentmindedly.

I shrug, biting into my poptart. "Good. I ate some stew. Bitched at Paula. Came home."

Kyla's head shoots up, her eyes giving me a wide look, one of disbelief. "You what?" she asks in an excited voice.

"Ate some _stew_." I repeat, grinning at her.

Kyla cocks her eyebrow at me. "What happened?"

I tell Kyla pretty much everything that happened tonight. About how much of a fucking bitch Spencer's mother is. How I told her to stop being mean to her daughter. I feel good that I did that. But that doesn't cross out the fact that I am still nervous. Me and Spencer are good, but I know she has a lot to deal with concerning her mother. I don't want Spencer to be hurt by that woman. I don't want Spencer to be hurt by _anyone_, really.

"Damn." Kyla says when I end my story. "What do you think is going to happen?"

I sigh. "I don't know. Will you help me kill Paula and then hide the body? I was thinking we could throw it in the ocean or something like that."

Kyla just looks at me and then puts her head back into her magazine, which I now know is _Cosmopolitan_. "No Ashley."

"_Fine_, be a party pooper." I say to her as I wipe the crumbs off the counter and onto the floor. "So seriously, you're not gunna go after Robin?"

Kyla sighs and closes that stupid magazine, finally. "Not right now. I like her a lot, but I just really like being her friend. Plus, if I'm her friend I can playfully flirt with her and stuff and not have it be all complicated and shit."

I roll my eyes. "Nice, Kyla."

"I think she still likes her ex anyway. She was texting her tonight."

I rack my brain, trying to remember the story Spencer told me about Robin and her ex-girlfriend. I know she told me, but the details are coming up fuzzy. We were at the beach when she told me it, and Spencer was wearing a very small, red bikini. I really don't remember much else besides that.

"Right, um, Greta, or something." I say, knowing her name starts with a G.

Kyla snorts and get up off the stool. "Grace." She says. "Grace is to Robin as Spencer is to you. Basically."

"Ah, I see." I say, thinking hard. I _know_ that phrase she just used has a special name. Like when they say _"this is to that as that is to this."_ You know what I'm talking about?

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"Why are we here, again?" I ask to no one in particular as I am squished up against a wall surrounded by people who I have no clue who they are.

"Because. To support Robin, she wanted her friends with her." Aiden says, taking a sip of his red Solo cup.

"We're Robin's friends?"

Spencer gives me a look. "Yes, Ash."

I shrug. "Right. We're Robin's friends."

We had found ourselves at some random party, in some random neighborhood, with a bunch of random people that I had never seen or met. Robin brought us here, and I swear she knew like every fucking person. I guess they were all from the previous high school she had attended. Supposedly, we came with her to meet this mystery girl Grace that she was suddenly talking to again. Spencer was excited to go. As was Aiden. I, on the other hand, was not. Don't get me wrong. I love parties and stuff. But I really just wanted to hang out with Spencer, alone. Over the past week I had unconsciously glued myself to her, not wanting to be without her for a minute. It was unnaturally clingy for me.

But whatever.

I felt like I shouldn't leave her side at all. In the meantime, Spencer had made no progress with her mother. Paula still blatantly ignored her and Spencer the same. We rarely spoke about it. I think her upset side was dissolving and all of a sudden she was just seriously angry about it. It was kind of scary, but also incredibly sexy at the same time. The only time we did talk about it would be when she went off on these long rambling tangents about how much of a bitch Paula is. Which I can totally agree with.

But the way she got all worked up just made me want to jump her. _All_ the time.

"Fuck." I mumble as some flailing body knocks into me and sloshes my beer all over me.

_Great_ party.

"I'll be right back." I tell Spencer as I make my way through the crap-load of people towards the kitchen. Hopefully there will be some napkins of paper-towels or something.

I am starting to think the only way to survive this party will be to get hammered. So this is what I will do.

I clean off my shirt with a sketchy looking hand rag and have just downed my second shot when I feel a presence behind me.

"Hey there." A voice says and I turn around to see some girl I have never seen before.

She's on the shorter side, with very short, very blonde, hair. If this were a different time, I would be finding this girl very attractive. But now, the first thing I do is compare her hair to Spencer's. Not as pretty. Compare her eyes to Spencer's. Not as bright or twinkly. Compare her smile to Spencer's. Not as wide or endearing.

"Uh, hi." I say. And I am surprised when I hear the slight slur in my voice.

How many shots did I just take?

"What's up, I haven't seen you before." She says, putting a hand in her pocket and giving me a smile.

"Yeah, I came with a friend, actually." I tell her.

She bobs her head. I steady myself against the counter. And I see red hair coming towards me and this weirdo girl.

"Hey." Robin says as she comes to the side of the short blonde. "You guys met already?"

I look at her in confusion. "What?"

"Ashley, this is Grace. Grace, Ashley, one of the friends I told you I brought." Robin says, looking between us. But mostly looking at Grace. Who I am now realizing is her ex-girlfriend thingy or whatever.

Grace flashes Robin a happy smile. And Robin gives one back.

Lame.

I don't enjoy cuteness like this unless it includes Spencer and I.

"Nice to meet you." I tell the short blonde, Grace.

"You too."

Robin interjects on the small-talk greetings, bullshit pleasantry. "Come on, meet everyone else. I think they're in the other room."

The three of us head out of the kitchen and into the room where there is a large mass of people. I feel a little dizzy but then that happy-drunk state comes over me. I haven't drank too much so this is a nice feeling.

When we find everybody else I see Aiden dancing slightly with Spencer, although they're mostly just laughing. They both look at me, Robin, and Grace when we near them.

"Spencer, Aiden, this is Grace." Robin smiles as she introduces them.

"Hi!" Aiden says cheerily. He gives her a hug and I know he's drunk. He only hugs people when he's drunk.

I leave Robin's side and go to Spencer. "You're so pretty." I speak slowly, grabbing her shirt towards me.

"You're drunk." Spencer laughs out, bringing a hand to push back my hair.

"Yes." I say into her neck. "And you're hot." Spencer laughs but then her laughter turns into a moan when I kiss her neck. Okay, _lick_ her neck.

"Oh, are you two together?" A voice interrupts my time with Spencer's neck. I glare hard at Grace.

Spencer nods with a smile on her face. "Yeah, we are. Nice to meet you, Robin told me a lot about you."

Grace smiles slyly. "All good I hope." She chuckles.

"Of course." Spencer says, sneakily putting one of her hands in my back pocket. I almost let out a moan at such simple, simple contact.

Robin then comes next to Grace.

"I hope you guys are getting along." She says, with a trace of something in her voice. Something that tells me she wants us to like this girl.

Robin and Grace start to talk to each other blah blah blah. I'm not interesting in them, I'm more interested in looking at Spencer's tight shirt.

"You're prettier than her." I murmur to Spencer.

She smiles, but I see her turn red. "_Ashley_."

"What? It's truuuue. And she can't hear." I tell her as I push her lightly against the wall. "You smell so good." I tell her quietly as I kiss her cheek, setting my hands on her hips. "And you taste all citrus-y." I continue, moving my mouth along her jaw, to her ear. I hear her make a little sound and I smile. "And you're so soft." I whisper, moving my mouth to the other side of her face. "And hot." I say as I kiss down her neck.

"Jesus Ash." Spencer growls out quietly. Her hands go in my hair.

"And you're so fucking sexy." I mumble against her cheek before I kiss it softly.

Spencer's hands finally pull my head so that my mouth meets hers and she kisses me. Hard and wet. I groan in her mouth and press myself harder against her, wanting more contact. My hands are slowly inching up her shirt, feeling the warm skin along the way.

"Mmmm. I like when you're drunk." Spencer says into my mouth and I grin stupidly. I kiss her again until I decide that this just won't do. I grab her hand and pull her towards the stairs.

"Ash, seriously? We're in some random house." She laughs and just I smirk at her as I push her ahead of me on the stairs. So I can watch her butt move up them.

My hands are on her cute ass as she opens a door.

I see, through my drunken haze, two huddled bodies who jump up when the door comes open and the light shines through. Like a spotlight.

Spencer speaks in surprise. "_Kyla_?"

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	31. Smells Like Teen Spirit

**Hope everybody likes! Fluffity fluff fluff. Read and review and make my day substantially better =)**

**Spencer's POV**

"_Kyla_?" I say, surprised to find her here. At this random party. "What are you doing here?" I ask her as my eyes glance to the guy getting up from the bed.

"Oh." She says, buttoning her shirt up. "I came with some friends from dance. Um, what are you two doing here?"

I was extremely happy to find that she wasn't zipping up her jeans. As they were still intact. Actually, I was way more happy about the fact that the guy now standing next to her was not zipping _his_ pants. He just rearranged his shirt. Walking in on Kyla having sex with some guy was not on the top of my to-do list.

That was Ashley's space.

"We came with Robin." Ashley slurs out. She is way more drunk than she thinks she is. And drunk Ashley is way touchy-feely and grabby. And yes, I enjoy that very much so.

"Robin?" Kyla asks, confused.

"Yeah, she knows almost everyone here." I tell her, my eyes still watching the guy stand nervously by Kyla's side.

Now that the door was open and the light was inside the room, I could see him better. He is slightly taller than Kyla, with a black t-shirt on and black converse covering his antsy feet. My eyes wash over him and find jet black hair, styled into a kind of faux-hawk in the middle of his head. I take in his studded belt and greyish blue eyes. I am surprised, because he is so not Kyla's type. Kyla's type is pretty boy, like if Aiden or Court were straight. But this kid is rougher, more gruff. Not to say he isn't good-looking, he is. Cute, almost adorable.

"Robin?" This mystery kids says, speaking for the first time since we've walked in.

"You know her?" Kyla turns to ask him, a smile on her face.

"Yeah." Is all he answers.

"Oh, um, guys, this is Trey, Trey, this is my sister Ashley and her girlfriend Spencer." Kyla introduces us. I shake his hand and Ashley tries to but she just stumbles forward.

Trey just smiles shyly. Besides from being kind of intimidating on first sight, he is very quiet.

"Anyway." Kyla continues, breaking the weird silence that followed the introductions. "What were you two doing up here?"

The four of us start to walk down the hall, heading back downstairs. I give Ashley a look and I'm pretty sure I blush. Why do I always do that? Ashley is just smirking, like always.

"Right." Kyla says, laughing lightly. "Of course."

"Girlfriend?" Trey asks suddenly.

Ashley turns to him. "Yeah, you got a problem with that _Trey_?" She asks him roughly.

He shakes his head. "No, I think that's really cool."

"Good." She says harshly.

I roll my eyes at her. Ashley was never, how can I say, the friendliest person when meeting new people. She was no different with me.

"_What the hell are you doing?" I heard a raspy voice say to me as a door slammed into my back. I was sitting on the ground, waiting for Glen to finish talking to the basketball coach. _

_I would have waited in the library or something, but I had no idea where that was yet. Seeing as I was new and this was only my third day in school. _

"_Oh, sorry." I squeaked out, my back hurting. I looked up at the girl standing in front of me, hands on her hips, sneer on her face. She was wearing skinny jeans and a t-shirt with a weird design on it. Her boots were making clicking noises as she tapped her foot. She just stared at me. _

"_You can't just sit in front of a door, you know, people have to open them." She spit out, rolling her eyes at me. _

"_Uh, it says don't open." I said and pointed to the sign on the door behind me. The one this bitchy girl had just come through. _

"_Yeah, like anyone actually reads that. You're obviously new." She said roughly. _

_And I was new. And I absolutely hated the fact that I was new. Especially when I was starting high school, freshman year, in a whole new high school. A whole new town. A whole new state. I missed my friends in Ohio. And I missed the fact that they didn't have some kind of attitude, like all these Los Angeles people seemed to have. _Especially_ this girl in front of me. _

"_Whatever." I mumbled quietly, going back to read my book. I really just wanted to be left in peace. _

"_What are you reading?" The girl, whose hair I noticed was very brown and curly, asked me. I never really thought brown hair could be that pretty until I saw this girl. Her hair seemed to be a very rich, chocolate-y color. It was nice, I guess. _

"_None of your business." I said quietly, not looking up at her but continuing to read. I wanted her to just leave me alone. _

"_Fine." She answered and finally walked away. I didn't look up to see her leave. _

_The next day, almost the same thing happened. Except I was standing outside the door to a classroom talking to some girl that I met in my art class. Chelsea. She was nice and showed me around, so I finally knew where the library and other places were. _

"_What is wrong with you and doors." The same raspy voice said to me as another door slammed into my back. _

_I sighed when I saw it was the same girl from the last afternoon. _

"_Sorry." I told her. She just walked away from me._

_Unfortunately, it looked like I was stalking her because we ended up having the same next class. When I took my seat, I noticed that she sat slightly in back and diagonal from me. I racked my brain, trying to remember if I had seen her in this class the rest of the week._

"_Uh, were you always in this class?" I turned around and asked her, as people started to trickle into the classroom. _

_She looked up at me and that is when I noticed the color of her eyes, how they perfectly matched her hair and the strange golden specks in them. _

"_Yes." She said, staring right at me. _

"_I've never seen you." I stated stupidly. _

"_Well, math isn't my favorite subject, therefore I don't come too often." She paused. "Ever." _

"_Why'd you come today?" I asked her another question. _

_She cocked her eyebrow at me. "What's with the interrogation. I came today _because_ I don't want to be suspended again. Adequate answer for you, weirdo?" _

_I shrugged. "It was alright. Why were you suspended before?" I asked her._

"_I would love to share my life story with you, new girl, but I don't think we're quite there yet." She said with a smirk on her face. _

"_Don't count on ever getting there." I quipped. _

_She gave me an angry glare and just put her head down. _

"_So, what's your life story?" I asked her a few minutes later. I was enjoying that I annoyed her for some reason. _

"_Would you shut up." She mumbled in a raspy voice. _

"_Spencer Carlin?" The teacher said my name loudly from the front of the class. I raised my hand, showing him that I was here. _

"_Spencer? Do your parents hate you? That's a guy's name." The raspy-voiced girl said when I put my hand down. _

"_I like it." I told her, annoyed. _

"_Ashley Davies?" The teacher said, and the girl raised her hand. "Wow, Ashley, you're here. I almost didn't even bother to call your name." _

_The girl, Ashley, sneered at him. "So thoughtful." She said to him. _

_I continued to take notes the whole rest of the class, trying to ignore the slight snoring I heard from Ashley in the back. _

"_Why aren't you taking notes?" I asked her, while our teacher had his back turned. _

"_Another question, Spencer Carlin, and I'm going to throw this poptart at your head." She hissed quietly. And I believed that she would really do that. _

"_Another nasty comment and I won't let you copy my notes. I know you were gunna ask me." I told her, totally taking a guess as to whether she was going to ask me for them or not. _

_Ashley just squinted her eyes at me and a small smile appeared on her face. _

When we get downstairs, we find Aiden, Grace, and Robin standing together in the kitchen, pouring more drinks.

"Hey." I say to them, making their heads turn our way.

"Kyla?" Robin says in surprise. "I thought you had plans tonight?"

Kyla chuckles a little. "I did, to come to this party."

Robin smirks. "This is Grace." She points to, well, Grace, and Kyla shakes her hand.

Ashley moves from my side to take a shot glass but I grab her wrist before she can. "I don't think you need anymore." I tell her, a smile on her face.

"Spence." She whines, her eyes looking at me widely. "Just a little." She mumbles at my mouth before she kisses me. Her tongue tastes like alcohol and usually I don't really like that. But on Ashley, it was extremely sexy. And it turned me on.

"Alright." I breathe out.

I am such a sucker.

I notice that Trey isn't talking much, only a little bit to Grace and Robin, I guess because he knows them. He is mostly just standing next to Kyla, smiling at her like she's some kind of Greek goddess.

"So, did you go to school with Robin?" I ask Trey as I sip the cold beer that kind of tastes like pee, from my cup.

Trey nods and runs a hand through his hair. "Yeah, we're pretty good friends. I was bummed when she left." He says, and I think that's the most he's spoken so far.

"Yeah, she's cool." I say, finding it funny how I am now friends with this girl that once hit on me. In some ways, she is kind of responsible for me coming out to Ashley. Weird.

"Oh." Trey says suddenly, looking at me with those greyish blue eyes. "You're Spencer."

"Uh, yeah." I say slowly. He's cute but not the smartest.

"Like, the girl that Robin hit on at the movie theater a while ago." He continues, a slight smile on his face.

Ooooh, Right.

I laugh lightly. "That's me."

Trey puts his hands in his pockets and shifts his weight from one foot to the other. "Cool." He says quietly.

"Trey." Kyla interrupts our semi-conversation. "You wanna dance?" She asks him with a smile on her face. Trey beams at her, his eyes lighting up as he nods. Kyla grabs his hand and brings him into the other room.

"What's with that kid?" Ashley asks me, as she puts her arm around my waist.

"He's just shy. I think he's sweet." I tell her. Her hand is rubbing my side under my shirt and I am feeling all tingly at her touch on my skin. The tingles never cease.

Ashley rolls her eyes at me. "You think everyone's _sweet_ when you meet them."

I smirk at her. "Not true. I didn't think you were sweet. I thought you were annoying."

Ashley laughs. "Well, ditto. Especially 'cause you kept asking me all those fuckin' questions."

I smile at the memory. "Do you still think I'm annoying?" I ask her as I bring my face to kiss her lightly.

"Mmmm." Ashley says with closed eyes, her grip on me tighter. "Sometimes."

"Watch it Davies." I whisper against her ear, my cheek on her cheek. I can feel the smile on her face. I love that smile. I love that smile so much I want to see it. So I take my face from hers and kiss the side of that smile.

Oh, that smile.

"So are you guys having a good time?" Grace asks us as she sips what I think is vodka and cranberry juice.

"Yeah, fun party." Aiden smiles at her sweetly.

"Robin said you have a boyfriend?" Grace asks him, glancing over at Robin for conformation. Robin nods.

Aiden's faces lights up like a Christmas tree. "Yeah, Court. He was busy tonight, I would have brought him."

Kyla appears next to Aiden, a little out of breath and sweaty. With some kind of red mark becoming darker by the second on the side of her neck. And a very large smile on her face. "So, you're Robin's ex-girlfriend?"

She directs her question to Grace and the short blonde looks a little taken aback. Robin just rolls her eyes, used to Kyla's blunt outbursts.

"Uh, yeah." Grace quickly glances at Robin. "We used to be together."

"Hmm. Could I talk to you for a sec?" She asks a scared looking Grace.

Grace barely nods before Kyla grabs her elbow.

"_Kyla_." Robin hisses at her taking a step forward.

"Chill. I'll be right back." Kyla says over her shoulder. I see Robin shoot her ex a sympathetic look as they leave the room.

"What's she doing?" I ask out loud as I watch them disappear into the crowd.

Robin downs a shot quickly. "Who the hell knows. It's Kyla." Robin answers in an exasperated voice.

"Are you like, trying to get her back or something?" Aiden asks Robin, his eyes searching hers lightly.

Robin shrugs. "I'm not sure." She says slowly. Her eyes move to my side and a smirk appears on her face. "Spence. Your girlfriend is having some difficulties."

"What?" I say as I turn to look at Ashley. Her elbow is propped up on the kitchen counter and her eyes are closed, mouth open slightly. It looks like she fell asleep, right in the middle of a party. With music blaring from the other room. I chuckle lightly to myself.

"Ash?" I whisper gently in her ear. I see her eyes flutter but stay closed.

"Spence." She slurs sluggishly.

I run a hand through her hair soothingly. "Hey, do you think we could go soon?"

Robin glances around nervously. "Uh, I kinda wanted to stay, you know, to hang out with Grace. As soon as Kyla is done attacking her I guess. But you can take my car if you want."

"Are you sure?" I ask her as I pull my girlfriend off the counter and wrap her around my waist.

"Yeah, yeah, no problem. Are you alright to drive?"

I nod. "I had like, a sip of beer. Thanks Robin. Good luck." I tell her as I nod for Aiden to accompany me outside and to the car.

I have Ashley sit in the back with Aiden while she's still slightly passed out. I drive carefully out of the neighborhood, kind of feeling like a limo driver. Two people in the backseat and no one in the front seat. I laugh stupidly to myself. When I get to Aiden's house, he gives me a kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks Spence." He says as he gets out of the car.

I manage to fandangle Ashley out of the back of the car, up the stairs, and into her room. I told my dad I was sleeping out so I'm fine to just stay here. And I'm glad for that. Whenever I sleep in my own bed it feels cold and empty. Even a passed out Ashley is a comfort and warmth to me. And she looks so adorable, eyes fluttering every now and then, little noises coming from her perfect mouth.

I can't seem to get to sleep. So I just rub Ashley's back for a while, sitting up in bed. My mind starts to wander. It plays over Ashley. It plays over my mother. I start to think about my mother and I can't help but wonder, will she always be like this? What about my wedding day, if I ever do get married. Will she not be there? Will my own mother still ignore me in the future? I wish these thoughts would just leave my mind, and when I look over at Ashley, they momentarily do.

She is all I need. I'm quite sure of that.

Ashley's eyes open slowly, coming into focus. "Hi." She says in a raspier than normal voice, because of the alcohol and the sleep.

I smile at her. "Hi there." I say as I slink down in bed to cuddle into her. Ashley's arms immediately go around me as I rest my head on her shoulder, half my body draped over hers.

"Why aren't you sleeping?" She asks in a quiet voice.

I shrug lightly. "I don't know." I tell her honestly.

But I start to feel the tiredness come over me as I snuggle further into her warm body. Everything about her feels so good.

Ashley presses a kiss to the top of my head and I feel my heart explode with love. "When did we get home?"

"A little while ago. You fell asleep in the kitchen." I giggle lightly into her.

Ashley laughs, and I feel the movements from her stomach reverberate onto my body. "I'm sorry. Thanks for bringing me to bed." She says sweetly, tangling her hand in my hair and scratching my scalp. It feels so delicious and I note my eyes starting to droop.

"Anytime." I say with a slightly seductive tone and Ashley chuckles.

The last thing I feel before I fall asleep is a soft kiss go to my temple and Ashley pulling me closer. And I fall asleep in her arms.

Where I belong.


	32. Heart Shaped Glasses

**Thank you everyone =) You're all absolutely fantastic.  
**

**Spencer's POV**

I walk into my house after a normal day at school.

Almost falling asleep in my first period class. Making out with Ashley in the bathroom. Taking a biology quiz. Making out with Ashley in the bathroom. Having lunch with Kyla, Aiden, Chelsea, Court, Robin, and Ashley. Making out with Ashley in the bathroom. Being late for gym because Ashley was kissing my neck. Making out with Ashley in the bathroom. Debating in my history class. Making out with Ashley in the bathroom.

When I get home I'm surprised to see that my mother's car is in the driveway. I just wanted to have a peaceful afternoon. My mother is in the kitchen heating something up in the microwave. We have not been talking too much, and I've been avoiding her and she's been avoiding me. So it is slightly awkward when I go into the kitchen to grab a snack and she's just standing there. I hate this awkwardness. With someone like my mother, my family.

I glance at her quickly before opening the fridge. Her eyes meet mine and for the first time in a while I don't see anger, or disgust, or indifference. They're just kind of soft and almost…sad.

"How was your day?" Her voice comes out cracked in the beginning, almost as if she hadn't used her vocal chords in a while. It evens out towards the end though.

I turn to look at her, some grapes in my hand. I'm surprised and caught off guard at her questioning.

"I, um, it was good." I stutter out stupidly. My next sentence is hesitant and I almost don't even say it. Almost. "How was yours?"

My mother looks at me and now her eyes are definitely sad, but kind of happier. If that is at all possible, because that right there is an oxymoron. "It was alright. I got the rest of the day off."

"That's nice." I say plainly, trying to not let her know that I'm happy she's talking to me. This is a battle and I will not lose.

My mother nods. "How's, how's Ashley?" she asks me.

One grape drops from my hand and I look at her. Searching for sarcasm or a caustic tone that tells me she's just messing with me. I find neither of those things.

I take a breath before I answer her question. "She's wonderful." I say honestly. I want to tell her that Ashley is amazing, and that she's funny and that she loves me. And I want to tell her that I want her to see that Ashley is one of the best things that has happened to me since we've moved here and that I am good for Ashley. Because I know I am. We're good for each other.

But I don's speak those words.

Again, my mother nods. I pop a grape in my mouth and we are quiet. I go to leave the kitchen but apparently my mother is not done surprising me today.

"Hey, Spence?" She says, and I turn around.

"Yeah?" I respond simply.

My mother looks at the ground before talking and then back at me. " I have this work party next weekend." She starts. I stare at her, to go on. She does. "And I'd really like if you would come." There is a pause where neither of us speak. At least not with our mouths. "And you're welcome to bring Ashley with you."

Then, the timer to the microwave goes off and my mother turns around to get whatever it is that she was heating up. I stand in shock and confusion.

Wait.

Did I hear correctly? Did my mother just ask me to go to a work thing with her and for me to bring Ashley? That Ashley was _welcome_ to come? Is that what just happened? I am half expecting some guy to pop out of the cabinet with a camera and yell _You've been Punk'd Spencer Carlin!_ But that doesn't seem to be happening.

My mouth opens and closes.

"You don't have to, just think about it, if you want." She says hesitantly.

I nod, because that is all I can do for now. I walk out of that kitchen with my mother in it, at least the woman who I think is my mother, standing there still. I feel a tightness come over my chest, one of happiness. Then I turn around and rush back into the kitchen. I don't say anything but walk up to my mother and hug her tightly. Tightly like I haven't for a very long time, because I _haven't_. This action is the only thing I am capable of doing in my shock and it seems to be enough. Because she hugs me back.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" Ashley says in shock over the phone. I'm sitting on my bed in my room, staring up at the ceiling.

"She said you're welcome to come." I repeat for the third time to an unbelieving Ashley.

"Is she high?" Ashley asks seriously.

I snort into the phone. "Not that I know of."

"Speed?"

"No, Ash."

"Shrooms?"

"_Ashley_."

"Hmmm. Wow. Do you think someone paid her to say that?" I hear the teasing in Ashley's voice, but her nervous tone is predominant.

"No, Ash. I don't know what happened or whatever. But- I mean, will you go?" I ask nervously. Part of me is scared that Ashley will say no because of everything, that things with my mother will never, ever be the same. I'm nervous that they're both so stubborn that things will never be fixed. Because now, there seems to the smallest, tiniest chance of things becoming better. And I want it so badly.

"Spencer." Ashley says evenly. And I'm all ready to get angry and tell her she needs to go because this is important. "Of course I'll go. I would do anything for you. You know that." She says quietly into the phone to me. Her voice is shaky and I know that she's surprised by her sudden tenderness, as am I. it just makes my heart ache for her even more.

"Really?" I ask.

Ashley chuckles. "Really. It'll be no tea party, but I mean, there will be food, right?"

I laugh easily now, a very large weight lifted off of my chest. "Yes, there will be food."

"Alright then. That's all I needed to know. And you're going right?" She says slyly and I would bet money that there is a very large, cute, smirk on her face.

"Obviously."

"Well, I'm in then." She responds.

I go back downstairs later, after talking to Ashley on the phone to find my mom and dad sitting in the living room, watching _American Idol_.

"Hiya Spence." My dad says with a smile as he hears me enter the room.

"Hi." I say. "Um. Ashley said she would come." I spit out quickly, not so sure why I was so nervous to actually say that.

My mother smiles at me. _Smiles_. "Good." She says, and her eyes go back to the television. I see my dad take her hand and squeeze it after a second. After another couple of minutes, my mother goes into the kitchen to get a drink.

"Did you put her up to this?" I ask my dad.

He chuckles quietly at me, rearranging the glasses on his nose. "Nope. This was her idea. She misses you Spence."

I nod at him, smiling slightly. And then my mother comes back into the room with three glasses of juice. One for her, one for my dad, and one for me.

And a glass of juice has never meant so much to me.

"Thank you mom." I tell her softly.

"I thought you might be thirsty." She says with a shrug of her shoulders.

"No." I laugh out. "Thank you for- inviting Ashley."

My mother looks at me. She takes a deep breath and I'm almost scared she is going to take it back. Say it was just a cruel and unusual joke. But she doesn't. "She wants you to be happy. And so do I. So I guess we have that in common." She gives me a very small smile, but her apologetic, sincere eyes are what I catch.

And as simple as that, things are different.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Spencer, please stop pacing, your heels are making indents in the carpet." My mother says to me as I pace in the living room.

"I, yeah, sorry." I tell her, stopping my movement. "She said she would be here like five minutes ago."

"Jesus calm down Spencer." Glen says from the couch, eating a sandwich.

"Why are you eating, there's gunna be food there." I spit at him. To say I am nervous is an understatement. I'm not nervous about actually going with Ashley. I'm more nervous that she's going to change her mind at the last second and not come.

"I'm hungry." Glen says with his mouth full, eyes glued to a basketball game on television.

I'm dressed in a jean skirt and a light blue colored top. My hair in loose ringlets. I must have changed my outfit five times, trying to find something not too casual but not too fancy. "It's not a ball, Spencer." My mother had said when I came downstairs in a long champagne colored dress. I _guess_ that was overkill.

The doorbell rings and I have every intention of getting it. But my dad beats me to it. I hear his voice saying hello to Ashley and then I hear her husky voice asking him how he is. I have a smile on my face even before I see her, and when I do, it just gets bigger. And when I do actually see her, I feel a slight flush come over me and I have the sudden urge to make some kind of noise, a growl or a moan, for absolutely no reason besides the mere fact of her presence.

She walks into the living room and she looks ridiculously hot. Ashley always looks good but holy crap she looks so good I physically grip my hands on the sofa that I am leaning against to stop myself from pinning her against the wall of my house. Ashley is wearing a maroon vest that is covering _almost_ all of her toned stomach. There is a striped tie dangling loosely from her neck and down her cleavage. She's wearing tight black pants and I see boots, the boots I love on her, at her feet. My eyes scan her and when I meet her face, she is wearing a sly grin.

I move from my position and go to give her a hug, a tight hug that lasts longer than it should.

"Hey." She husks in my ear and I hear a trace of nervousness there.

"You nervous?" I whisper to her, pulling away.

Her eyes, a little wide but very dark brown look at mine. "Yeah, a little." She breathes out.

And I realize that I have no reason to be nervous. If anyone does, it is Ashley. I take her hand and squeeze it affectionately. "It'll be fine." I tell her and give her a comforting smile.

"Hey Ash. I'm glad you're coming, this was gunna be so boring with just Spencer." Glen says from the couch.

"Shut up Glen." I say and laugh lightly.

"Hello Ashley." My mother says as she walks into the living room and I see Ashley tense out of the corner of my eye.

"Uh." Ashley glances at me before regaining her composure. "Hi Mrs. Carlin. Thanks for inviting me." She speaks nervously.

"You're welcome." My mother says. And she doesn't say it in a mean way.

"You look very nice." Ashley says and it takes a lot of effort for me to hold back a snort of laughter at her. Ashley complimenting my mother. But I absolutely love her for trying. For being here.

"Thank you, I was thinking of buying a vest but I thought maybe I would be too old for that." My mother says easily, putting some things in her purse.

Ashley smiles and I see her slightly un-tense and become comfortable. "I think you could pull it off." She tells my mother with a smile.

My mother laughs. She laughs in a _nice_ way. "I appreciate that."

And I have no words because I think, I _think_, my mother and Ashley, my girlfriend, are getting along. Having a normal conversation. I'm pretty sure that this is what is going on here.

I believe the universe is playing tricks on me.

"Let's get this show on the road then." My dad says as he comes down the stairs. Everyone gathers their stuff and we head out to the car. But before I go, I intentionally go slowly, leaving Ashley and I behind for a second.

When we get a second alone, I kiss her softly, bringing my hand to her face. She kisses me back eagerly and I bite her lip for a second before we pull away from each other.

"I needed that." Ashley says slowly, opening her eyes.

My eyes then scan her again. "You look so good." I tell her, my voice noticeably dropping a few octaves lower than it was before.

Ashley grins. "So do you, I wanted to rip that skirt off you the second I saw it."

I think for a minute about taking her up on that idea, but then my dad's voice yells for us to hurry up. I take Ashley's hand in mine and drag her out of the door. "You ready?" I ask her.

She nods at me. "Yes ma'am." She smiles and kisses my cheek.

This should be interesting.


	33. I Want To Hold Your Hand

**So, I just want to give you guys a heads up. There's only going to be about...3 or 4 more chapters after this. Just wanted to let everyone know.  
So, Enjoy!  
All my love, as always. **

**Spencer's POV**

Sitting in a car with your family and significant other is always awkward. Sitting in a car with your girlfriend and your family is also awkward. But sitting in a car with your girlfriend that your mom used to hate and is now slightly accepting is the most awkward.

Just because she didn't immediately crucify Ashley the second she walked in the door doesn't mean that they're best friends now. My dad is doing most of the talking, trying to ease the people in the car. Me, as I am sitting in a puddle of nervousness next to Ashley and Glen. My mother, who is talking to my dad and keeps telling us what people to avoid and what people will be drunk. Glen, who is just staring out the window almost falling asleep. And Ashley, who is consistently wringing her hands together and tapping her leg up and down.

I bring my hand to her knee to try and calm her. She faces me and gives me a warm smile, her leg stopping its shaking.

The whole entire car ride to the place where we are going, I keep thinking about how weird this is. First, me and Ashley hiding our relationship from pretty much my whole family and everyone else. Actually, let's rewind. Ashley and I once not even being in a relationship other than a _friendly_ one. And I italicize friendly because now that I look back, the cuddling, the cheek kisses, the hands touching each other, was way more than friendly. Second, me and Ashley almost breaking because of the very woman who is sitting in the passenger seat. Third, me and my mother not speaking to each other for what seemed like an eternity. Something that was totally breaking me inside in only the way a mother can do to a daughter. And now, this strange turn of events where my mother invited Ashley here. And so here we are and I am praying that it can only get better from here because I honestly don't think I could take another devastating blow. And although I am certain and confident that I would always choose Ashley over anything else, the pain of even _having_ to choose would forever haunt me.

The second we park and start to walk into the building, I come to a dilemma. Should I hold Ashley's hand? Should I kiss her cheek sometime during the event? Who do I introduce her as? My girlfriend? My best friend? Just Ashley? I'm not sure, and I hate myself for thinking this, but my mother took a step and I in no way want to push her.

"Hold your girlfriend's hand." Glen whispers to me as we enter.

And so I do, feeling a surge of love for my brother.

Entering, I see a very large crowd of people sitting at tables, eating, drinking, and talking to each other. They all look like doctors. Young, old, middle-aged. And every single one of them seems to know my mother in some way. She talks cheerily to all of them, with a smile on her face and glass of wine in her hand. Glen has abandoned us and made his way to the buffet table, and I already see that he has two full plates of food and is carrying them back to a table.

"What are we supposed to do?" Ashley asks me nervously as we stand next to my dad.

I look at her gorgeous brown eyes, frantically looking around the room. They finally land on mine and seem to settle down a bit. I smile as I press my lips lightly to her cheek. "I have no idea."

"Arthur!" A voice comes through the crowd, yelling my dad's name. When the man comes into the picture, he looks to be about middle-aged. Very good-looking with wavy blonde hair and pearly white teeth. "How are you?"

My dad smiles at him and extends his hand. "Wonderful. How are you doing? How is everyone?" My dad asks cheerily.

"Great, great actually. This must be Spencer." He says with a smile, looking at me.

My dad nods. "Spence, this is Simon, he works with your mom in surgery. Simon, this is my daughter Spencer. My son Glen is around here somewhere, probably eating." My dad chuckles.

"Hi." I say as I shake Simon's hand. He's friendly and his smile and niceness are making me feel at ease.

I'm about to say something else when my dad interjects, sensing my obvious hesitancy. "Simon, this is Ashley, Spencer's girlfriend." He says with a smile on his face and my heart pounds hard in my chest. I'm not sure why.

Simon smiles wide at us and shakes Ashley's hand. "Nice to meet you. You both look lovely."

"Simon, I'm sorry, I couldn't find any more shrimp. I think that curly-blonde haired boy took the last of them." A man, taller than Simon with some showings of grey in his dark hair says as he comes over to us.

"Oh, that's alright. Mark this is Arthur Carlin, his daughter and her girlfriend." Simon says excitedly to this man, Mark.

Mark smiles wide. "Nice to meet you!" He says excitedly.

"This is Mark, my partner. He's had some wine." Simon smirks, looking at my dad and at me and Ashley. He obviously sees the surprise on my face and the shock in Ashley's because he winks at both of us.

"Great to meet you." My dad says to him. And then they're talking about random things as me and Ashley head over to the table where Glen was sitting.

"This is so…random." Ashley breathes out as she takes a seat next to me.

"I know." I say, taking a sip of water.

"Do you think your mom knows Simon is gay?" She asks me, her eyes meeting mine.

"Good question." I laugh.

Ashley grabs my hand and intertwines our fingers. Playing with each one of them. She's staring at our hands mended together intently. I smile at her soft touch on me. It's more comforting than anything I have ever experienced in my entire life. Also, the small contact makes me want to throw her on the table and kiss her passionately.

But I will restrain myself.

"Do you think they're married?" Ashley wonders out loud, her eyes still on our hands.

I shrug. "I don't know. Maybe. I mean he said partner, so wouldn't he have said husband if they were?"

Ashley copies my earlier shrug. Her eyes finally come up to meet mine and there is wide smile on her face. And I'm sure my own matches hers. I'm not sure why we're just sitting there and smiling at each other, but we are.

After a little while of talking to more people and being introduced to others, we find ourselves back at the table.

Minutes later, my mother comes ambling over and takes a seat next to me. There is a wine glass in her hand. My mother is kind of light-weight and I wonder how many she has had.

"You're pretty popular here." I tell her, a small smile on her face.

Me, Ashley, and my mother, all sitting at this small table, is such a surreal situation. I cannot wrap my mind around it.

"Oh, I guess." My mom says. Her modestly is betrayed by the wide smile on her face.

"You're like the Prom Queen." Ashley says.

My mother laughs very lightly. "Oh, I don't know about that. But I was in high school."

"No way." Ashley says, a sly smile on her face.

"No, it's true." I tell her with a laugh. "Sometimes she puts her crown back on and wears it around the house." I say with a giggle.

"Spencer." My mother says sternly, giving me a look. "Don't embarrass me in front of your girlfriend, please." She says in the same tone, but there is a kind of twinkle in her eyes.

And all of a sudden I want nothing more than to hug my mother. And I even feel my eyes go prickly. Because my mother, the one who once said horrible things to Ashley and to me, acknowledged Ashley as my girlfriend. And that makes my heart feel lighter with every beat. I have no words, just a smile for her. And my mother excuses herself when a woman comes to speak to her.

I stare disbelieving as she walks away.

"Uh, Spence." Ashley snaps me out of my daze, and I turn back to her. "Did your mom just, did she call me your girlfriend?" She says, confused.

I smile at Ashley's twinkling eyes, seeing that she is affected as much by this as I am.

"Well, you are that, _aren't _you?" I say slyly.

Ashley grins. "Apparently."

I slap her arm playfully, and Ashley catches it just as I'm pulling it back. She presses a soft kiss to the back of my hand and smiles at me.

"I just got hit on by an old lady." Glen says dejectedly as he sits down with us. "She called me _sweet thing_ and I'm pretty sure she touched my ass."

Ashley and I burst out in laughter as Glen sits there, scowling at us.

"It's not funny." He says, trying to kill our giggling.

"No, Glen." Ashley says once she's calmed down. "It so is."

"You guys suck. The only good thing about this is the food." Glen says slowly, picking at a roll left on his plate.

"It's not that bad." Ashley admits.

Glen scoffs. "You're only saying that because you and Spencer are the golden couple now or something."

"I wouldn't go that far." I tell him seriously.

"True. How do you guys take all this shit? Seriously, I would never be able to handle that." Glen says, directing his comment towards both me and Ashley.

Ashley looks at me before saying anything. "Well, it's way better when you have someone with you."

I smile at her and I want to kiss her.

Glen nods. "I admire you guys for that."

"Thanks Glen." I say to my big brother, just now realizing how amazing he has always been.

Glen shrugs. "I'm gunna go get some dessert." He says as he gets up to leave.

"See ya, _sweet thing_." Ashley tells him with a smirk on her face as he's leaving. Glen just shoots her a look and makes a bee-line for the cookies.

I rest my eyes on Ashley's face and then they travel down her vest, over her loose tie, and to her pants. Her tight pants. And I remember how sexy she looks.

"What?" Ashley says, redirecting my eyes to hers.

I sigh. "You look so hot." I murmur out. A tiny strangled moan makes its way through my throat and out of my mouth. "God, you look _so _hot."

Ashley raises her eyebrows to me and her eyes go to my skirt. She touches the end of it lightly. "You know how I feel about you and skirts, Spencer." She says seductively.

"And how do you feel about me _not_ in skirts?" I say as her hand brushes my exposed leg.

I'm pretty sure I hear a growl come out of her mouth. "Don't tempt me." She says huskily.

"You girls ready to go?" My dad's voice tears us from our heavy moment.

"Yes." Ashley and I say at the exact same time.

"Alright, let's go." My dad smiles at us as we get our stuff together and head for the door.

When we get in the car, it takes all of my strength to not pounce on Ashley. Because she keeps looking at me hard, her eyes dark, her hands lightly skimming my arms and hands. My mother is talking excitedly about the night and my dad is listening. Glen is falling asleep and I'm focusing on Ashley. I know she wants to kiss me, any part of me, my neck, my cheek, my lips. But he doesn't push it in front of my mom.

I was never happier to get back to my house than I am at this moment.

"Uh. I'm gunna go over to Ashley's." I alert my parents. Ashley's hand is tugging on mine and her eyes are burning into me. In a good way.

"Okay." My dad says.

"Thank you for coming. Both of you." My mom says to us quietly.

I smile at her.

"Thank you for inviting me, Mrs. Carlin. It was um, really nice of you." Ashley says nervously.

My mother nods and I take that gesture as meaning we're free to go.

The second that Ashley and I get to her car parked down the street, she pushes me up against the passenger door hard and kisses me. I gasp at the surprise and her tongue rubs across my lower lip before redirecting into my mouth. Her moan goes right through me, sending tingles everywhere. My hands find their place in her hair, pulling her close as I kiss her back.

"Ash." I breathe out, trying to get her to go in the car.

"Mmmm." She mumbles against my neck, taking the skin in her mouth, between her teeth. Her hands are dangerously high up on my thighs and if we were not right out in the open there is no doubt I would just let her have me there.

"We should go." I manage to say between soft moans.

Ashley reluctantly lets go of me and nods. She opens the door for me to get in and literally jogs around to the other side.

She smirks before speaking, throwing me a sideways glance. "Let's go, _sweet thing_."


	34. Roygbiv

**Ashley's POV**

"So what movie do you want to watch?" Spencer asks me as we hurriedly make our way upstairs. I can't see her face because I'm basically dragging her up the steps, but I know there is an adorable, crafty smile adorning those red lips.

"Spencer. Do not talk to me about movies when you're wearing that skirt." I tell her in my most serious tone.

When we get to my room, I close the door quickly and am fully intending to push Spencer up against it, but she beats me to my actions with her own. Before I even register her touch on me, her hands shove my shoulders back roughly and I'm back down on my bed.

Fuck.

Me.

Please.

Spencer climbs on top of me slowly, making sure to have her chest at perfect eye level from where I am laying. It would be no surprise if a growl flew directly out of my mouth at her actions. It is absolutely fucking fantastic when Spencer is rough with me. It turns me on almost as much as seeing her in a short jean skirt. _Almost_.

"So, are you saying you like my skirt?" Spencer whispers seductively. She is on hands and knees above me, her face quite close to mine.

I will not kiss her first.

My hands automatically go to her neck, rubbing the back of it. Then they slide slowly down her shoulders, down her chest, up her arms. Everywhere.

"'Cause I was thinking of just throwing it away." She continues softly, her lips leaving a wake across my jaw and down my neck.

I will not kiss her first.

"It's nice." I breathe out. I cannot control my breathing when she is on top of me. Or under me. Or on the side of me. Or just _near_ me. "I think I like it better off you." I say softly as my hands make their own way to a very important destination: her ass. I hear Spencer's sharp intake of breathe as I massage her backside softly.

"That's exactly how I feel about your vest." She says precisely before her tongue gets acquainted with my ear.

Ashley's ear, meet Spencer's tongue. _Pleased_ to meet you.

There is no stopping the moan and the arching of my aching body. Spencer's soft, graceful fingers are slowly popping the buttons open on my vest. And that very chest is rising up and down in deep motions. I beat her in the removal-of-shirts competition when I swiftly and smoothly bring her top up and over her head while she continues to pop my buttons. Somewhere along here, her leg has sneaked up in between mine and when she purposely presses harder into me I can't help but bring my hands around her lower back, crashing her on top of me.

I kiss her first.

I can't help myself, those lips are playing mind games with me and I have no problem with them winning. My kiss is gentle at first, but when I feel Spencer's smile and tongue in my mouth, it gets heavier with every movement. That tongue just propels me to move my hands all the way up and under her sexy little skirt.

"Ash." Spencer moans against the skin of my neck. I arch myself into her body and she pushes me back down.

Spencer attacks all parts of my neck as her hands diligently remove the vest and bra from my body. Then her lips move down between my breasts, licking their way around areas she knows well.

"_Fuck_." I let out in a strangled moan.

I try multiple times to flip us over, but Spencer continually stops me. I think she secretly loves the fact that she has this insane power over me. And I think I secretly love that fact to. I'm sure she can tell by my desperate moans and thrusts that my center being pushed against her thigh is not enough right now. I _need_ her. And I know she can tell, because as her hot mouth is on mine, her hands are succeeding in de-pantsing me.

I feel Spencer's hand just run lightly up and down my center and I feel waves of electricity and heat go through me. "Tell me you need me." Spencer moans in my ear, making me, if at all possible, even wetter for her.

I breathe jaggedly a few times before attempting to speak. "I need you." The words come out hoarse and all kinds of needy and desperate.

Her thumb pushes down hard on the best possible place and I arch up violently. "Fuck Spencer! I need you, _please_." I repeat, my head titled back on the bed.

Spencer kisses me hard and enters me with two wonderful fingers. I don't even have time to groan at the feeling of her inside me because she starts to pump in and out. And I lose my breath. I feel my eyes roll to the back of my head as I move with her.

It doesn't take much to push me roughly over that beautiful, exploding edge. The combination of her inside me, her moans in my ear, her tongue on my neck and in my mouth, and my hands on her perfectly round ass all contribute to that.

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"What are your plans for this weekend?" I ask my sister in our one shared class.

She shrugs, continuing to doodle in her notebook. "I don't know, maybe hanging out with Trey."

"Oh yeah? What's up with this kid, you like him?"

I see Kyla blush out of the corner of my eye. "I-"

"Oh my god." I whisper loudly. "You _totally _like him."

"I-" Kyla pauses. "He's alright." But the blush and sheepish smile on her face contradict her words.

"You _like_ him."

"Ashley, he's fun. Trey's-"

"Kyla _really_ likes him." I sing.

"Shut the hell up Ashley."

"You like him, you like him, you like-" But my ministrations are cut off by her pen hitting my face.

"Yes, I like him, okay. I'm not like in love with him though." Kyla gives me a hard glare. "And who are you to talk, you're like ridiculously in love with Spencer, you don't even do anything but her."

"Damn straight." I smirk.

"_Ew_. So not what I meant. You are so whipped."

I snap my head to her. "Am not."

Kyla scoffs quietly at me and I feel my face get hot with truth. "Please. If Spencer wanted a kitten you'd go out and buy her one."

"I- wait, what?" I laugh. "You're such a fucking weirdo."

Kyla shrugs, her pink sparkly pen writing notes on the paper. "Who would have thought, the nice Ohio girl has Ashley Davies totally wrapped around her finger."

"_Boyfriend?" I asked the blonde sitting on the bleachers as I pointed across the gym._

_She was new and I had just met her yesterday in math class. This girl, Spencer, was annoying as hell. All she did was ask questions. She obviously didn't know well enough to just leave me alone. And plus, she was always blocking the fucking door. What a spaz. But at the same time, she had these pretty crystal blue eyes. I had never seen eyes like that before. And they were even kind of cute when she glared at me and told me to stop making nasty comments. She pissed me off, but for some reason when I saw her, my feet just walked towards her. _

_I didn't plan on being friends with her. New people were too needy. But this girl intrigued me. And it was fun making her angry. And plus, I was bored_

_For a second, I thought about hitting on her. She wasn't bad to look at. Then, I realized that this new girl would so be the clingy type. And I didn't need that, going to the same school and all. I so didn't do the relationship thing._

_The blonde scoffed. "Um, no. Brother. And what, no mean little comment?"_

_I looked at her. "Not yet." I smirked. _

"_Well, where's _your_ boyfriend?"_

"_Why are you assuming I have one?"_

"_Well, do you?"_

"_Well, why are you answering a question with a question, _Spencer Carlin_?" The blonde laughed lightly, and for some reason it made me smile a little bit. "No, no boyfriend. Boys aren't really my thing." I said bluntly. _

"_What's that mean.." She asked curiously. _

"_It means I'm not into labels." I said seriously. Spencer scanned my face and I couldn't read her expression. "What? That bother you, Ohio girl?"_

"_No." She said right away. "So, that means you'd date like a squirrel or something?"_

"_Funny." I spit out blandly, although there was a small smirk on my face. _

_Spencer started to put her things back into her bag. "So, since you were such an ass to me, I think it's best you buy me a cup of coffee." She stated, keeping eye contact. _

_And for some reason, I agreed. After that, we became fast friends. Going from making mean stabs at each other, to making small non-hostile remarks to each other, to hitting each other playfully, to full on wrestling matches, to me actually caring about this girl. _

_And then, well, you know the story from there. _


	35. No Lies, Just Love

**Okey dokey, sadly, this is the second to last chapter. I want to thank a reviewer for giving me an idea that I took and toyed with a bit. I hadn't thought of it but it fits perfectly with easing into an ending. Anyway, I really hope you guys like it.  
Let me know if you like reading as much as I love writing =) It means everything to me. **

**Ashley's POV**

"Hey gorgeous." I say to my wonderful blue-eyed blonde as I step up to her locker. I'm all up in her personal space and even just being there. Just in that air that surrounds Spencer. I tingle.

Spencer smiles adorably at me and I lean in to kiss her so softly. And just that soft kiss. Every, single soft kiss feels like the first time. I never knew that being with one person for so long could still affect you like it was the first time. All the time. But that's how I feel with Spencer.

And I don't predict bad weather anytime soon.

"Gorgeous? You must be in a good mood." Spencer chuckles lightly, her hand pinching my hip before it goes to put her books away.

I just nod. Wanting to just look at her for like, a really long time. I love watching Spencer the most when she doesn't know it.

Like when she's reading a book intently and something happy must happen because she smiles lightly. Or when she's toasting bread in the kitchen, tapping her foot softly to imaginary music. Like that time that I went up to her room and she was pacing around, practicing her history speech out loud. She didn't know I was leaning in the doorway, watching her arms flail around dramatically when she was making a rather important point. Or when we were playing hide and seek the other day, yes, _hide and seek_, and I was hiding behind the couch, watching her walk cautiously around because she thought I might pop out and scare her. Which I had previously done. But the best times, the most wonderful, butterfly moments are when we meet each others eyes when we're not next to each other. She'll be sitting in the gym or in the quad or in the hallway and I'll walk by and wink at her. Her face blushes but she sticks her tongue out at me anyway. And then my face blushes.

"…So that's why I don't think we should have sex anymore." I only catch the last part of Spencer's sentence and my eyes snap back to hers. Because they were staring right at her ass in those low riding jeans.

"What?" I say more loudly, and more like a shriek than necessary.

"I knew you weren't listening to me." She says, putting a calculator into her bag.

Damn that body.

I smile sheepishly at her. "Sorry, I was too busy looking at your ass." Spencer smirks at me. "Anyway. We should go on a date."

"What? Like, a date date?" Spencer asks curiously, arching her eyebrows at me.

"Yes." I laugh. "So come to my house tomorrow night."

"Alright, weirdo." Spencer says and shuts her locker.

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I'm standing in my kitchen, looking at a stupid book, trying to figure out exactly how much a pinch of cayenne pepper is when I hear my doorbell ring.

I thought about going on a date to a movie and dinner. You know, something classic like that. Then I thought about the boardwalk and ice cream. Possibly bringing her to the beach. The idea of skydiving even crossed my mind. Although I deemed that idea a little overkill. So I landed on making Spencer dinner. What's more romantic than that? True, I don't really know how to cook that well. Well, _at all_. But I figured it couldn't be that hard. And Spencer would appreciate the effort since the only thing I can do is make Bagel Bites.

But my Bagel Bites are fucking heavenly. Ask anyone.

I smile wide at her when I open the door and see that she's just wearing ripped jeans and zipper-up sweatshirt. Casual Spencer is a sexy Spencer.

"Good thing you dressed up, baby." I say to her as she hugs me.

"Well we're just going out to a movie, right? Or the boardwalk?" She questions, hoping I'll tell her exactly what we're doing.

Silly girl.

I smirk at her and close the door behind me. "Nope, I'm making you dinner."

Spencer scoffs. "Don't lie to me, Ashley."

We get in the kitchen and all the shit I thought I might need is lying on the counter, cookbook open. "No lies, Spence. Seriously."

I turn around to her and I see her face brighten and her jaw kind of drops. "You're such a romantic." She mumbles to my lips before she kisses me. I smile into her kiss and pull her hips closer to me. Her tongue meets mine and I groan into her mouth and before I know it I'm pushed up against the fridge. I feel her hand sneaking up my shirt and then I hear a timer go off.

"What's that?" She asks, pulling away.

A bit breathless, I answer. "Uh, I'm not sure."

"You don't know what you're making?"

"Stop with the _questions_, Spencer." I chuckle at her and wink before as I go over to the counter.

I fumble round with the food, and all the measuring spoons, and cups, and everything else. I'm not sure what I'm doing but I'm trying at least. I hear Spencer laugh every so often from the stool at the island.

"You laughing at me is not helping." I say playfully as I pour something into some fancy cup.

I hear movement behind and me and then Spencer is right behind me, hands wrapped around my waist. She gives the back of my ear a kiss and mumbles "Sorry." Then her hands go in the front pockets of my jeans and I can no longer concentrate on cooking food. I think I moan involunarily and tilt my head back on her shoulder.

"You're not hungry, right?" I breathe out as her hands rub my thighs.

She laughs and kisses my exposed neck. "Keep going. Just please don't start a fire." Spencer lets go of me and goes back to her stool.

"That was _one_ time." I murmur and continue working.

I miraculously manage to finish cooking and not burn or light anything on fire even though Spencer kept touching me, which was, to say the least, quite distracting. And when we actually eat, it's not that bad. I mean, I'm no culinary wizard, but my food was eatable.

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"Thanks for dinner, Ash." Spencer says sleepily into my shoulder. She's pressed warmly into me as we lay outside in the dark on the grass. We're staring up at the stars, as cliché as that is, but it's wonderful all the same. This is way better than some stupid movie. Or the boardwalk.

I kiss the top of her head softly. "Of course." I wait a minute. "I love you Spencer."

Spencer looks up at me with sparkling bright blue eyes.

"I love you too Ashley." She says quietly. My arm wraps tighter around her and my fingers rub her stomach gently. I think she purrs.

We lay there for a while longer, no words between us. None needed.

"Spence?"

"Yeah?" She answers.

"I love you."

Spencer chuckles lightly and nuzzles my neck. "So I've heard." She says.

"I don't want us to change. Ever." I say randomly, and then my brow furrows because that was stupid.

Spencer looks up at me now. "We won't."

"You promise?" I ask, grinning at her.

Spencer returns that grin, but wider. "I promise, Ashley Davies."

And I kiss her.


	36. Us

**Okay all of my lovely friends, this is the last chapter. Am I allowed to say that I love this chapter? Well, I'm going to say it. I love this chapter, I'm very proud of it. So, I really really hope you guys like it as well.  
I have some ideas and partially written stuff for other stories, so I will definitely be posting another story sometime soon. I hope you guys check it out. Thank you bunches to everyone who read and reviewed and enjoyed my first story, you all made me tingle stupidly all the time =D  
Enjoy!**

**A Number of Years Later**

**Spencer's POV**

I sit calmly at a table by the window in a small café. My coffee is still extremely hot and simmering, so I try and cool it down by taking the lid off. I look out of the window, searching as far as my eyes can see for some curly haired brunette that should have been here oh- ten minutes ago. The fancy latte across from me is steaming. It took me at least a year to get down the exact complicated order that my girlfriend always, always insists on ordering.

I look out of the window again and see a gorgeous girl carrying a briefcase come walking towards the café. Maybe briefcase is a bad word, that makes it sound like she's a fifty year old man coming home from his law firm. Her bag is fancier and more girly. And I know all of the contents it holds.

A laptop, a folder with some random papers in it, a not-so-innocent picture of me that I had sent her when I was bored waiting for her to come back to her apartment one night, a coupon to some doughnut place, a cell phone that is slightly broken because I accidentally dropped it in the toilet, a little electronic _Tetris _game because sometimes she gets bored, and a day planner that I forced her to buy.

She doesn't see me in the window, so when she comes in, the little bell above the door dinging, she looks around nervously for a second before coming to the table I had secured.

Her chocolate eyes twinkle brightly at me and she doesn't say anything, just puts her bag down and kisses me sweetly on the lips. My hands automatically go to the sides of her face and I stop myself when I remember we're in a public place.

"I missed you today." Ashley mumbles against my lips.

Eventually she goes to the chair across from me, but still close, sipping her scalding latte.

I smile wide, just looking at her. She looks so stunning, as always, that sometimes there are just no words that come out of my mouth at her presence.

"I missed you too." I tell her finally.

She grins at me, her nose crinkling, dimples showing, nose scrunching. "Thanks for the coffee sexy pants."

I chuckle at her, and still, after all of this time, I feel a blush come through from her name for me. Lately, she's been trying out nicknames for me all consisting of the word sexy. Sexy _shirt_. Sexy _button_. Sexy _dork_. Sexy _poptart_.

"Of course." I say, taking a sip of my plain coffee. "But could you pick a more complicated drink?"

"Could you pick a more lame drink?" She retorts.

I smirk at her, watching her lick some foam off of the top. And just like that, I feel my eyes go a little darker. I would like to be that foam. By Ashley's eyes on me, she notices. She scoots her chair around the table and closer to me. Her face coming to kiss my cheek, breath lingering there, hand on my thigh.

"How was your day?" She asks me, leaning her elbow on the table and angling her head into it so her face is in front of mine.

"It was okay." I say, my eyes on her lips. I see her smile. "I love you." I blurt out.

Ashley kisses me for longer than she should. "And I love you."

I bring my hand to tuck a stray curl behind her ear, tugging on it slightly. "Can we get out of here?" I quietly plead.

Ashley nods. "Kyla's out shopping." She tells me with a smirk.

I smile wide, knowing that if Kyla is out shopping, she'll be gone for hours.

Our hands intertwine as we walk out of the café and into the L.A. sun.

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It didn't matter that Ashley was ten minutes late in meeting me for coffee. It didn't matter that just the other day we engaged in a huge fight about her leaving poptart crumbs all over the counter of my kitchen in my apartment. They were all over the floor, all over the small living room, all over _everything_. And the kitten I had just bought was choking on some and Ashley just laughed. It didn't matter. It didn't matter that she hated when I left all my camera equipment on the floor of her and Kyla's loft, resulting in bruising on her back when we were having sex on that floor. It didn't matter that Kyla constantly interrupted our intimate moments in her bedroom every chance she got. It didn't matter that the handle to my refrigerator was broken because Ashley had pushed me up hard against it as she kissed me passionately. And it didn't matter that she had purple hickeys all over her neck when she went for that interview a couple of weeks ago.

It made no difference at all that Ashley and my mother were involved in this strange friendship that consisted of ritual morning coffee's every Tuesday. It made no difference at all that Ashley and I had sex in the basement of my old house when my parents were watching _American Idol _after we had dinner with them. And it made no difference whatsoever that Ashley _still_ never let me pay for anything. It made no difference when Kyla made us go on a double date with her and this guy she had met at a sports conference, where she commonly went to find guys.

It made no difference as to how much time has passed.

I didn't care that Ashley sneakily changed my alarm clock for ten minutes later every single morning. And it didn't matter that she wouldn't let me sleep over when we got into a fight about my driving skills, which were _fine_. And it didn't matter that I came over anyway; opening her loft door with the key she had given me a few months prior. Because when I pinned her to the couch and ran my hand over her toned stomach that fight was long forgotten. I didn't care that I could no longer wear my black halter dress because Ashley had _literally_ ripped it off of me the second she saw me in it. I didn't care that I had missed my morning classes multiple times because I was too busy touching Ashley as a result of her simply _smiling_ at me in the morning.

Sure, in the past we had once almost ended because my mother caught us together. Intimately together. Yes, she had once gotten jealous over a girl who is now one our good friends. Sure, we were once best friends who secretly wanted the other so badly it physically hurt. Yes, Ashley had a reckless past and I a naïve one. But that didn't matter so much. That was part of us now, made us who we were. The erratic heartbeats and index cards that were woven into our relationship.

The only thing that did, and would ever matter, was that we are, and I know we always will be, us.

_Us_.


End file.
